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Sleeping Partners
by Lou WakefieldWhen Pauline Watkins wakes up one morning to discover she's thirty-nine, she decides Something Must Be Done. About her marriage to a partner who thinks that bedtime is just for sleeping, about her routine job - her routine life. An exotic holiday would be a start, and fairexchange.biz offers a solution - swap her council estate semi outside Leicester for a piece of paradise in Australia. Pauline presses Send. On the other side of the world, Lorna Mackenzie has reached a similar conclusion, but for a rather different reason: her sleeping partner is sleeping around. A family wedding provides the excuse for Lorna to sweep her mother and her faithless husband up into Business Class and head chez Watkins. It may be better to travel hopefully than to arrive, but for Pauline and Lorna, a holiday swap turns into the journey of a lifetime.
Sleeping with the Fishes
by Toby MooreBritish reporter Ollie Gibbon has made it big in New York thanks to his three-part series on the Mafia. Trouble is, he made up every word, culling information from Godfather movies and his mobsters' monikers from pasta sauces. When his boss orders him to employ these "contacts" to bump off a rival, it's not long before Ollie's forced on the run. Chased into the crazy heartland of America by an enraged press owner and unpaid mafiosi, he determines to survive - bad meatloaf, folk dressed as furry animals, country music - and win back Gina, the girl he's lost over a dolphin-friendly tuna fight.
Something Rising: A Novel (Playaway Adult Fiction Ser.)
by Haven KimmelFrom the internationally bestselling author of ‘The Solace of Leaving Early’, a funny, heartwrenching and unforgettable novel following the fortunes of a feisty young female pool hustler.
Spanish Steps: One Man And His Ass On The Pilgrim Way To Santiago
by Tim MooreLudicrous, heart-warming and improbably inspirational, Spanish Steps is the story of what happens when a rather silly man tries to walk all the way across a very large country, with a very large animal who doesn't really want to.Being larger than a cat, the donkey is the kind of animal Tim Moore is slightly scared of. Yet intrigued by epic accounts of a pilgrimage undertaken by one in three medieval Europeans, and committed to historical authenticity, he finds himself leading a Pyrenean ass named Shinto into Spain, headed for Santiago de Compostela.Over 500 miles of extreme weather and agonising bestial sloth, it becomes memorably apparent that for the multinational band of eccentrics who keep the Santiagan flame alive, the pilgrimage has evolved from a purely devotional undertaking into a mobile therapist's couch.'Hailed as the new Bill Bryson, he is in fact a writer of considerably more substance and the jokes come thick and fast' Irish Times
Star Warped
by Adam RobertsA long time ago in galaxy far, far away a really quite good SF film, a sort of western in space, was launched. The special effects were pretty shoddy but it did have some quite good actors in it. And Mark Hammill. A second and third film that were actually the fifth and sixth films followed and they weren't quite so good but they were still quite fun (especially when the teddies got blasted by the Imperial stormtroopers). Then, the first, second and third films followed and they were actually fairly dreadful though by now the special effects were much better. And the actors were still better than average too. And Mark Hammill was too old to be in it plus his character hadn't been born yet so that was OK.A Gollancz parody was inevitable. And here it is. An epic told in six chapters. An epic of good versus evil. Of dark versus light. Of hairy co-pilots and green gurus. Of bizarre hair styles, steel bras and camp robots. An epic that starts in the middle. And that's the original!
Staying Alive
by Matt BeaumontFrom the bestelling author of ‘e’ comes a hilarious and moving novel of a very normal life becoming extraordinary
Steve Wright’s Book of Factoids: As Heard On Bbc Radio 2's Steve Wright In The Afternoon
by Steve WrightNow fully revised and updated with new content. Steve Wright selects the weirdest, most fascinating and entertaining trivia from around the world, as read out on his hit Radio 2 show, Steve Wright in the Afternoon.
Stupid and Contagious
by Caprice CraneIn this hilarious, romantic comedy, two twenty-something neighbors embark on a zany mission to meet the founder of Starbucks, and in doing so, find each other.
Super Splosh (Wizzbang Wizard #1)
by Scoular AndersonThe first in a charming new series of magical books for younger readers about Freddy Frogpurse, the fun-loving, Wizzbang Wizard.
Talk to the Hand: The Utter Bloody Rudeness Of The World Today, Or Six Good Reasons To Stay Home And Bolt The Door (Profile Ser.)
by Lynne TrussA battle-cry for civilised behaviour from the author of the multi-million selling Eats, Shoots and Leaves.
The Thermitts: Book 9 (Nelly the Monster Sitter #9)
by Kes GrayNelly is as busy as ever monster-sitting strange and unusual monster babies. With inviting Huffaluks to her birthday barbeque, struggling to frighten Muggots to sleep and stopping Thermitts from melting, Nelly's monster-sitting adventures continue to be full of surprises!It has to be zero degrees or below for the thermits or they'll melt, so monster sitting during a heat wave is going to be a challenge for Nelly...
The Timewaster Letters
by Robin CooperFor several years, Robin Cooper has been plaguing department stores, hotels, associations, fan clubs and a certain children's book publisher with his letters. From Prince Charles to the Peanut Council, Harrods to the British Halibut Association - no one is safe. So who is Robin Cooper? Architect, thimble designer, trampoline tester and wasp expert, Robin Cooper is all of these things - it just depends on the person he's writing to...
Tins (New Windmills Ks3 Ser.)
by Alex ShearerFergal is a self-confessed nerd with an eccentric hobby: tin collecting. He likes the lucky dip aspect of buying tins that have their labels missing - after all, you never know what might be inside. It's Fergal's idea of living dangerously. That is, until the day he innocently opens up a tin to find . . . a bloodied human finger. Everyone thinks it's a joke. But not Fergal - and when his next tin discovery is a note with the word 'Help' scribbled on it, he feels compelled to track down the factory responsible for these mysterious and macabre products. Fergal might be hungry to play detective, but has he opened a can of worms . . . ? This Dahl-esque black comedy will have readers squirming on the edge of their seats. Funny, frightening and totally gross - Alex Shearer taps into the repulsive-but-appealing tradition of urban myths that are perennial playground fodder.
The Trimoni Twins and the Shrunken Treasure
by Pam SmallcombThe Trimoni Twins can't wait to perform their magic show in the famed Merlin Hotel in Amsterdam. There they meet their tutor Hector's interesting and eccentric uncle Hoogaboom, who is in the business of creating miniature scale models of all kinds of things, including houses and famous buildings. They befriend Uncle Hoogaboom and soon discover that Hoogaboom's special creations are the products of more than skill and craftsmanship; he makes them with the legendary Shrinking Coin, which has been handed down through his family for generations. But the Shrinking Coin isn't his only secret, and the girls are quickly embroiled in an international mystery that can be solved only with their trademarked ingenuity and teamwork. And a little ka-poofing, of course.
The Underminer: The Best Friend Who Casually Destroys Your Life
by Mike Albo Virginia HeffernanSuccessful, gorgeous, and beloved by everyone you know, the Underminer remembers your every foolish ambition and humiliating mistake-and never fails to remind you. The Underminer makes you feel suicidal. But the Underminer is your friend. Mike Albo and Virginia Heffernan do us all a public service by capturing the elusive evils of an age-old archetype. To understand and resist your toxic friend, you need The Underminer. Who is the Underminer? "An insincere, name-dropping predator with a rise so meteoric that you feel like crawling into your sad little apartment and eating gallons of ice cream right out of the carton while sniffling over reruns of old Bette Davis movies."-New York Times Book Review "A character that is so malicious, so insensitive and sadistic, that we can only gape horror-struck as every venomous phrase rolls off her tongue."-Rocky Mountain News "A psychological predator of the highest order. A viper cloaked in velvet. The Shaquille O'Neal of schadenfreude."-Boston Globe "An ego-skewering, passive-aggressive blowhard of indeterminate gender, surfing annoyingly along the breaking waves of pop and consumer culture-from dot-com to New Age, from hip-hop to a yurt in Afghanistan-always on top and armed with a put-down."-New York Times "The 'friend' who somehow manages to turn every compliment into an incredibly subtle insult, thus making you wonder whether you are truly the most neurotic person in all of Manhattan-or if your friend is just, well, evil."-New York Post
The Understudy: A comic masterpiece by the author of ONE DAY
by David Nicholls***Pre-order David Nicholls' new novel YOU ARE HERE now - Coming April 2024***A COMIC MASTERPIECE BY BELOVED BESTSELLER DAVID NICHOLLSA scintillating comedy of ambition, celebrity, jealousy and love'Irresistible' DAILY MAIL 'Wonderfully chaotic' THE TIMES 'Delightful' OBSERVER 'Brilliant' GOOD HOUSEKEEPING 'Funniest book of the year' MARIE CLAIRE For Josh Harper, being in show-business means everything he ever wanted: money, fame, a beautiful wife and a lead role on the London stage. For Stephen C. McQueen, it means being stuck with an unfortunate name, a hopeless agent and a job as understudy to Josh Harper, the 12th Sexiest Man in the World. When Stephen falls in love with Josh's clever, funny wife, Nora, things get even more difficult. But might there yet be a way for Stephen to get his big break?ONE OF BRITAIN'S MOST ACCLAIMED WRITERS'One of the most astute chroniclers of England as it is now'FINANCIAL TIMES'An uncanny ability to make us laugh out loud, but also care passionately about his characters'DAILY TELEGRAPH'Nicholls writes with such tender precision about love'THE TIMES'No one else writes novels that are both relatable and revelatory in the way he does'EVENING STANDARD'Genuinely brilliant'NEW STATESMAN
The Undomestic Goddess: Perfect Escapism from the Number One Bestseller
by Sophie Kinsella'Funny, fast and farcical. I loved it' JOJO MOYESThe hilarious romantic comedy from NUMBER ONE BESTSELLING AUTHOR Sophie KinsellaSamantha thrives under pressure. A high-powered London lawyer, all she can concentrate on is taking the next step in her career; eating, sleeping, seeing friends – even taking a breath – will have to wait.But just when she’s about to get everything she has ever wanted, Samantha makes a mistake. A fifty-million-pound, career-destroying mistake. Unable to face the consequences, she does the unimaginable and runs away…Catching the first train she can, she finds herself in the countryside, outside a beautiful grand house. Mistaken for another woman, she falls into a new job as the family’s housekeeper.Disaster ensues. In a blink, her life has shifted from writing briefs to washing them – and she has no idea how to work the washing machine. Let alone the oven. A former master of the takeaway menu, she’s now expected to whip up fine cuisine.But gradually, she falls in love with her new life in a wholly unexpected way. Will her employers ever discover the truth? Will Samantha's old life ever catch up with her? And if it does...will she want it back?***** EVERYBODY LOVES SOPHIE KINSELLA: *****'I couldn’t put it down.' LOUISE PENTLAND (SprinkleofGlitter)'I almost cried with laughter' DAILY MAIL'Life doesn't get much better than a new Sophie Kinsella novel' RED'Hilarious . . . you'll laugh and gasp on every page' JENNY COLGAN
Up and Down in the Dales (Dales Ser.)
by Gervase PhinnUp and Down in the Dales is the fourth volume in Gervase Phinn's bestselling Dales SeriesWhat's your name? I asked the child.'Tequila,' she replied. I'm named after a drink.''Tequila Sunrise,' I murmured.'No,' pouted the child. 'Tequila Braithwaite.'Now in his fourth year as an Inspector for English in the Yorkshire Dales, Gervase Phinn still relishes visiting the schools - whether an inner-city comprehensive fraught with difficulties or a small Dales Primary school where the main danger is one of closure. With endless good humour, he copes with the little surprises that occur round every corner.Some things never change: Mrs Savage roars, Connie rants, and Gervase's colleague in the office play verbal ping-pong. But all this can be put behind him each day when he returns home to his lovely wife, Christine, who is expecting their first baby. Up and Down in the Dales is charming montage of Gervase Phinn's experiences will keep you amused and will win a place in your heart.'Gervase Phinn's memoirs have made him a hero in school staff-rooms' Daily TelegraphGervase Phinn is an author and educator from Rotherham who, after teaching for fourteen years in a variety of schools, moved to North Yorkshire to be a school inspector. He has written autobiographies, novels, plays, collections of poetry and stories, as well as a number of books about education. He holds five fellowships, honorary doctorates from Hull, Leicester and Sheffield Hallam universities, and is a patron of a number of children's charities and organizations. He is married with four adult children. His books include The Other Side of the Dale, Over Hill and Dale, Head Over Heels in the Dales, The Heart of the Dales, Up and Down in the Dales and Trouble at the Little Village School.
Urban Legends
by Arcturus PublishingTruth is often stranger than fiction, as this outstanding collection of urban myths and incredible stories vividly demonstrates. Among them you will find examples of amazing lawsuits, crazy criminals, humiliating misfortune, and embarrassing mistakes. What the stories all share is the capacity to make you wonder at the sheer richness of experience life has to offer - and the breath-taking stupidity of some people!
Utterly Monkey: A Novel
by Nick LairdA very funny, energetic, wonderfully engaging novel about where we’re from and where we’d like to get to…
The Va Dinci Cod
by Adam RobertsSomething fishy is going on in the world of artistic scholarship. How can there possibly be a link between the hidden cod of Leonardo Da Vinci's paintings and the over fishing of the North Atlantic fish stocks? Could it be that Leonardo Da Vinci, the greatest genius of his age and inventor of the photocopier and mouse mat, had a chilling insight into European Union Fishing policies.Only one man can find out. Robert Hangdog, international scholar, master spy and action hero. Oh and Bezu Fish.
Very Good, Jeeves: (Jeeves & Wooster) (Jeeves & Wooster #15)
by P.G. Wodehouse'Sublime comic genius... light as a feather... fabulous' Ben Elton'Ever since I picked up my dad's copy of Very Good, Jeeves aged eleven, I've adored P. G. Wodehouse' Anna CareJoin Bertie Wooster and his gentleman's gentleman, Jeeves, in their adventures with eleven laugh-out-loud funny short stories from the perennial comic, P. G. Wodehouse.Fun-loving Bertie and his friends are always getting themselves into scrapes, and it's up to Jeeves to fix the mess they leave behind. Whether it's helping Bertie recover his Aunt Agatha's lost dog, plot revenge against his old pal Tuppy Glossop, or navigate numerous love interests - Jeeves has always got an answer. After all, all's well that ends well - even if it's rarely as Bertie plans.
Vet on the Loose
by Gillian HickThe Hair-Raising Adventures of an Irish Vet. Whether castrating horses in Dublin's inner city or dehorning cattle in the wilds of Wicklow, rescuing mangled cats from mongrels or tending to stoned guard dogs, vet Gillian Hick's sense of humour never deserts her in this engaging account of the challenging situations she encounters in the course of her work as a newly qualified veterinary surgeon. Not only does she have to deal with the animals and their ailments, but she also has to contend with the perils of matchmaking mothers and macho farmers -- not to mention the guys who want to know 'where is the real vet?'
Warnings Of Gales
by Annie SandersThree women rent a holiday house in Cornwall for the summer. Each brings with her children, baggage (in every sense) and expectations...Imogen, who organised the holiday, is frighteningly capable and a bit of a control freak. With three children who are at the centre of her world, she's determined that this holiday will be perfect. But is Imogen's tidy life quite as happy as it seems?Sophie is Imogen's oldest friend, dating back to the days when they would chat long after lights out at their Home Counties boarding school. Sophie knows she should be feeding her offspring organic couscous, but they love McDonald's apple pies too much - and where's the harm in that? But is there more to Sophie than dogged loyalty to her rather overbearing old mate? And then there's Jo, an acquaintance of Sophie's roped in at the last minute when the first choice of housemate pulled out. An east London GP and single mother, and very easy-going with her son, she appears to be the polar opposite to Imogen.A group holiday seemed such a good idea back in January...
The Water Greeps: Book 3 (Nelly the Monster Sitter #3)
by Kes GrayEver played fetch with a four-eyed Grerk or made pancakes with a giant orange squurm? Nelly isn't scared of monsters. In fact she babysits for them. Every night, Nelly the monster sitter looks after a new friend, but its never easy...Nelly can't believe her luck when she finds out that the Water Greeps live in an underwater penthouse. The only problem is Water Greeps are mischievous monsters, and Nelly is going to have to get a bit wet!