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Where Have All the Boys Gone?: A Novel
by Jenny ColganWhere have all the men gone? Faced with 25, 000 more women than men in London, and gleeful media reports that it's statistically more likely for single women to be murdered than get married, Katie is reached an all-time low. But all is not lost …Another hilarious high-concept romantic comedy from Jenny Colgan.
Where's Stig: Motorsport Madness
by Rod HuntThe Stig, Top Gear's tame racing driver, is off on another adventure, this time following his passion for speed and adrenaline to its natural conclusion - motorsport. Stig has disappeared into the world of racing, and it's your job to find him.Follow Stig as he roams from the stifling heat of the Dakar rally to the redneck heartland of a NASCAR track, or from the nightime drama or Le Mans to the mud-soaked stands of Silverstone for the British Grand Prix. Along the way you'll also find Clarkson, Hammond and May as they indulge in a spot of home-made motorhome racing or Roman rallying, middle-eastern style.The Where's Stig books have taken Top Gear fans by storm - and his latest voyage is the most action packed yet!
Why Do Men Have Nipples?: Things You’d Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Gin ‘n’ Tonic
by Mark Leyner Billy GoldbergYou know how it is . . . you're at a party, you've had a drink or two and then someone introduces you to a friend. He's a doctor. And it seems like the perfect time to ask all those strange questions you've always wondered about, but never had the courage to ask:Can poppy seeds make you test positive for heroin?What are goosebumps?Why does asparagus make your wee smell?Why do old people get hairy ears?Is it possible to lose your contact lenses inside your head for ever?Why do some people have an 'outie' belly button and some people an 'innie'?Does warm milk really help you sleep?Is it actually possible to get scared to death?This book gives the answers to these and many more questions - pretty much everything you've ever wanted to know - but never had enough Dutch courage to ask!
The Wicked Traveler
by Howard TombRespond to Japanese Noh theater like a native: Kazoku sorrote no seppuku ga yokatta. (“I love the part where the whole family disembowels themselves.”) Speak to homicidal Parisian taxi drivers in a language they’ll understand: Ou avez-vous appris à conduire? En Italie? (“Where did you learn to drive? Italy?”) Discuss Italian olive oil with the proper degree of reverence: Un assaggio ti dice che le olive sono maturate di fronte ad una cattedrale. (“One taste tells you the olives grew in full view of the cathedral.”) Establish privacy needs in Mexico: Preferiría una habitación sin alacranes. (“I’d prefer a room without scorpions.”) With seven titles and over 1.2 million copies in print, Howard Tomb’s Wicked phrase book series is the fiendishly irreverent—and very successful—collection that gives travelers the words they wish they could utter while, say, attempting to find the exit of the Louvre or facing a plate of fugu (poisonous blowfish) in Japan. Now, the five most popular Wicked books—Italian, French, Japanese, German, and Spanish— have been updated and compiled into The Wicked Traveler. A$25 value for $8.95, it’s the ultimate impulse gift for anyone who’d like to know how to say silly things in five different languages. Because, as Howard Tomb writes in his new introduction: “Every country is different, but all foreign places have one thing in common: they’re weird.”
William Again (Just William series #3)
by Richmal CromptonWilliam's back and as mischievous as ever!In Richmal Compton's William Again William and his mate Ginger have to endure bankruptcy – they don't even have enough money for sweets. Then William comes up with what he thinks is a fantastic idea!William Again is the third set of stories featuring the endearing and mischievous William Brown; a much-loved character whose adventures have become children's classics. With an introduction by author and comedian Louise Rennison, this funny and endearing collection of fourteen brilliant Just William stories has an engaging contemporary cover look illustrated by Chris Garbutt along with the original inside illustrations of Thomas Henry. There is only one William. This tousle-headed, snub-nosed, hearty, loveable imp of mischief has been harassing his unfortunate family and delighting his hundreds of thousands of admirers since 1922.Enjoy more of William's adventures in William the Fourth and Still William.
William's New Year's Day (Short Reads)
by Richmal CromptonEveryone's favourite troublemaker is back in Richmal Crompton's William's New Year's Day.Just William makes his mark in this hilarious collection of twelve classic stories. Whether it's trying to arrange a marriage for his sister or taking a job as a boot boy as step one in his grand plan to run away, William manages to cause chaos wherever he goes. Features a charming introduction by one of William's famous fans, the wonderful comic writer Sue Townsend.
The World According to Clarkson: The World According to Clarkson Volume 1 (The World According to Clarkson #1)
by Jeremy ClarksonJeremy Clarkson, shares his opinions on just about everything in The World According to Clarkson. Jeremy Clarkson has seen rather more of the world than most. He has, as they say, been around a bit. And as a result, he's got one or two things to tell us about how it all works - and being Jeremy Clarkson he's not about to voice them quietly, humbly and without great dollops of humour. In The World According to Clarkson, he reveals why it is that:• Too much science is bad for our health• '70s rock music is nothing to be ashamed of• Hunting foxes while drunk and wearing night-sights is neither big nor clever• We must work harder to get rid of cricket• He liked the Germans (well, sometimes)With a strong dose of common sense that is rarely, if ever, found inside the M25, Clarkson hilariously attacks the pompous, the ridiculous, the absurd and the downright idiotic, whilst also celebrating the eccentric, the clever and the sheer bloody brilliant. Less a manifesto for living and more a road map to modern life, The World According to Clarkson is the funniest book you'll read this year. Don't leave home without it.The World According to Clarkson is a hilarious collection of Jeremy's Sunday Times columns and the first in his The World According to Clarkson series which also includes And Another Thing . . . , For Crying Out Loud! and How Hard Can It Be?Praise for Jeremy Clarkson:'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time OutNumber-one bestseller and presenter of the hugely popular Top Gear, Jeremy Clarkson writes on cars, current affairs and anything else that annoys him in his sharp and funny collections. Born To Be Riled, Clarkson On Cars, Don't Stop Me Now, Driven To Distraction, Round the Bend, Motorworld, and I Know You Got Soul are also available as Penguin paperbacks; the Penguin App iClarkson: The Book of Carscan be downloaded on the App Store.
Worse Things Happen at Sea
by Jake KavanaghWorse Things Happen at Sea is the long awaited follow up to Jake Kavanagh's hugely popular Ups and Downs of a Lockkeeper. This time turning his humorous eye to the scrapes people get intowhen let loose on open water, Jake has us chuckling, blushing andrecognising ourselves or fellow crew coming unstuck in the maritimemayhem he highlights with his witty pen and captures so admirably withhis hilarious illustrations. A great read for the armchair sailor - but you may decide that the armchair is the safest place to stay!'Had me laughing out loud on many occasions.'Motor Boats Monthly'A great read, and thoroughly recommended.'World Cruising Club
A Year In The Merde
by Stephen ClarkePaul West, a young Englishman, arrives in Paris to start a new job - and finds out what the French are really like.They do eat a lot of cheese, some of which smells like pigs' droppings. They don't wash their armpits with garlic soap. Going on strike really is the second national participation sport after pétanque. And, yes, they do use suppositories.In his first novel, Stephen Clarke gives a laugh-out-loud account of the pleasures and perils of being a Brit in France. Less quaint than A Year in Provence, less chocolatey than Chocolat, A Year in the Merde will tell you how to get served by the grumpiest Parisian waiter; how to make perfect vinaigrette every time; how to make amour - not war; and how not to buy a house in the French countryside.
You Drive Me Crazy: The funny, touching story from the Sunday Times bestseller
by Carole MatthewsThe last place Anna Terry expects to fall in love is in the waiting room of her divorce lawyer's office, but that's where she meets Nick Diamond . . . Anna's first marriage ended before her pregnancy was over, and her second husband has disappeared, leaving her penniless and with two children. Nick's luck hasn't been any better: his wife has run off with another man and his business is in chaos.When Anna gets a job as Nick's secretary, what starts as a mild flirtation soon accelerates into overdrive - and then their ex-partners show up . . .
Sloth: The Seven Deadly Sins (New York Public Library Lectures in Humanities)
by Wendy WassersteinHere is a rollicking parody of the self-help genre, one that skewers the couch-bound, apathetic mentality so pervasive in America today. With tongue in cheek, Sloth guides readers step-by-step toward a life of noncommittal inertia. "You have the right to be lazy," writes Wasserstein. "You can choose not to respond. You can choose not to move." Readers will find out the importance of Lethargiosis--the process of eliminating energy and drive, the vital first step in becoming a sloth. To help you attain the perfect state of indolent bliss, the book offers a wealth of self-help aids. Readers will find the sloth songbook, sloth breakfast bars (packed with sugar, additives, and a delicious touch of Ambien), sloth documentaries (such as the author's 12-hour epic on Thomas Aquinas), and the sloth network, channel 823, programming guaranteed not to stimulate or challenge in any way. ("It may be difficult to distinguish between this and other channels, but only on channel 823 can you watch me sleeping.") Readers will also learn the top ten lies about Sloth, the ten commandments of Sloth, the SLOTH mantra, even the "too-much ten"--over-achievers such as Marie Curie, Shakespeare, and William the Conqueror. You will discover how to become a sloth in your diet, exercise, work, and even love-life (true love leads to passion, she warns, and passion is the biggest enemy of sloth). Wendy Wasserstein is one of America's great comic writers--one who always has a serious point to her humor. Here, as she pokes fun at the self-help industry, she also satirizes the legion of Americans who are cultural and political sloths.
50 Boyfriends Worse Than Yours
by Justin RaczTired of watching your man play X-Box all day? Does he cruise match.com when you're not home? When he takes you back to his place, does his mother answer the door? 50 Boyfriends Worse Than Yours is a hilarious collection of these painfully familiar boyfriends, men we've all had the misfortune to meet. There's Thrifty, who thinks taking you out to Chuck E Cheese is charming; Goth Guy, who borrows your make-up; Large Pet Owner, who wears his Python around the house. Rounding out the list are The Flaw Corrector, The Comedian (who's using you for material), One Position Peter (enough said), and Balding and Touchy About It.Isn't revenge sweet? Funny, irresistible, and instantly relatable, 50 Boyfriends Worse Than Yours is the perfect Valentine's Day gift.
50 Days Worse Than Yours
by Justin RaczWe've all had bad days: lost our keys, broken a nail, missed a train. Some days, however, are much worse than others, as Justin Racz proves in this hilarious new addition to the smash hit Worse Than Yours series. Collecting fifty of the most memorable "bad days," this outrageous book catalogs everything from the daily ("First gray hair noticed") to the legendary ("Eve eats apple"), from the public ("New York City sanitation strike") to the painfully private ("Ricky gets atomic wedgie, 1976"). An inspired and fully illustrated testament to schadenfreude, 50 Days Worse than Yours proves that nothing is as universal as suffering. Whether you're a kid ("Picked last in gym-again"), a new parent ("Barney invented"), or facing down middle age ("AARP card arrives"), you can be sure to find some comfort in this riotous compilation of things gone wrong. After all, it could have been much, much worse... Justin Racz is the author of 50 Boyfriends Worse Than Yours, 50 Relatives Worse Than Yours, 50 Jobs Worse Than Yours and J.Crewd. He is an advertising copywriter and lives in New York City. Alec Brownstein is a film director and advertising copywriter. He lives in New York City and was a contributing writer on 50 Relatives Worse Than Yours.
The $64 Tomato: How One Man Nearly Lost His Sanity, Spent a Fortune, and Endured an Existential Crisis in the Quest for the Perfect Garden
by William AlexanderBill Alexander had no idea that his simple dream of having a vegetable garden and small orchard in his backyard would lead him into life-and-death battles with groundhogs, webworms, weeds, and weather; midnight expeditions in the dead of winter to dig up fresh thyme; and skirmishes with neighbors who feed the vermin (i.e., deer). Not to mention the vacations that had to be planned around the harvest, the near electrocution of the tree man, the limitations of his own middle-aged body, and the pity of his wife and kids. When Alexander runs (just for fun!) a costbenefit analysis, adding up everything from the live animal trap to the Velcro tomato wraps and then amortizing it over the life of his garden, it comes as quite a shock to learn that it cost him a staggering $64 to grow each one of his beloved Brandywine tomatoes. But as any gardener will tell you, you can't put a price on the unparalleled pleasures of providing fresh food for your family.
The A-Z Of Having A Baby: A Survival Guide (The Sentients of Orion #2)
by Jeff GreenCongratulations! You're having a baby! Or maybe you're a proud parent, holding your little bundle of joy with a mixture of ecstasy, wonder and sheer unadulterated TERROR? But don't panic! Real help is at hand, in the form of new dad and award-winning comedian Jeff Green. Let him guide you through the late nights, the stretch marks, the haemorrhoids... (and that's just the dads) and reassure you that you are NOT ALONE. So Dad, if you're suffering from father blues (the slow realisation that all your holidays will now be at Center Parcs), and Mum, if you're still miffed that your partner kept just out of punching range during childbirth, then this book is most definitely for you. Because it's not just babies who have teething problems...
Academy X: A Novel
by Andrew TreesWelcome to Academy X, an ethical wonderland in which up is down, right is wrong, and parents and students will stop at nothing (including lying, plagiarizing, and even seduction to name a few) in orderto get into the Ivy League. Caught in the middle is John Spencer, a bumbling but loveable English teacher struggling through the final weeks of his spring semester. But keeping focused on a Jane Austen seminar proves problematic when a His crush on the sexy school librarian andas well as a pending promotion threaten to divert his attentionare threatening to sink him in a sea of academic intrigue. Things become even more complicated when the college counseler asks John to lie (or at least exaggerate) in a recommendation letter for the very student who he's just discovered is a plagiarizer!And things are only about to get worse for John, who discovers that no price is too high to achieve a coveted admission to Harvard, Yale, or Princeton-even if that includes his own disgrace. Witty and rollicking, Academy X is a priceless peek into New York City's top private schools-indeed into elite schools all over the country.where parents risk all for their child's academic.
The Accidental Mother
by Rowan ColemanPerfect for fans of Jojo Moyes, Marian Keyes and Sophie Kinsella, this is a funny, warm-hearted novel from the author of The Memory Book, which was featured in the Richard & Judy book club 2014'I immediately read The Memory Book and it's WONDERFUL ... I'm so happy because she's written other books and its so lovely to find a writer you love who has a backlist' Marian KeyesSophie Mills has worked her Manolo Blahniks off to reach the near-top of her profession. And she's very happy with her priorities in life - her job, her neurotic cat Artemis and her passion for shoes. After all, relationships only get in the way. And as for children? She hasn't even begun to think about them yet. Until one day an unexpected visitor brings news of a strange inheritance and Sophie is suddenly, out of the blue, in sole charge of two children under the age of six. But motherhood can't be all that hard, can it? Within twenty-four hours, her make-up is smeared all over the bathroom, Artemis has taken up residence on top of her wardrobe, and Sophie is in despair. And all her unconventional mother can suggest is Dr Roberts' Complete Dog Training and Care Manual.Determined to rise to the challenge, Sophie soon realises that she'll need more than a business plan to cope with all this...
Are You A Geek?: 1,000 Ways To Find Out
by Tim CollinsAre You A Geek? is the ultimate humour book. It will appeal to the inner geek in all of us. Listing 1,000 things people do that qualify them as geeks, the truths shared about obsessive behavious will be recognised by all with a pang of guilt and strike a chord with a wide audience in these nerdy times. Grading geek behaviour with a one to five point scale depending on their severity, readers can add up their scores, find out how much of a geek they are, and fill out one of the five certificates at the back of the book.Are you a Geek? Read the book and find out...
The Armstrongs' A-Z Guide to Life
by Ann Armstrong John ArmstrongHave you ever wondered how typewriters can rival commercial radio? Why, according to John, it's best to shave only once a week, and with old fashioned soap and water? And what the various repercussions of spring and its extra hour of daylight bring?The BBC created a fantastically cult television series when they filmed the daily operations of John and Ann's double glazing firm U-Fit, the third largest in Coventry. It was here we were first introduced to John's misanthropic musings and no-nonsense attitude to management and his wife Ann's doting loyalty. Now their individual and highly entertaining personalities have been brought to the page, as they ruminate on various aspects of life from asbos to Buddhism, and Chekov to Maltesers.
Beyond Black: A Place Of Greater Safety; Beyond Black; The Giant O'brien (The\perennial Collection)
by null Hilary MantelA comically sinister tale of wicked spirits and suburban mediums from the Man Booker Prize-winning author of Wolf Hall, Bring Up the Bodies and The Mirror & the Light. Alison Hart, a medium by trade, tours the dormitory towns of London’s orbital ring road with her flint-hearted sidekick, Colette, passing on messages from beloved dead ancestors. But behind her plump, smiling persona hides a desperate woman: she knows the terrors the next life holds but must conceal them from her wide-eyed clients. At the same time she is plagued by spirits from her own past, who infiltrate her body and home, becoming stronger and nastier the more she resists… Shortlisted for the Orange Prize, Hilary Mantel’s supremely suspenseful novel is a masterpiece of dark humour and even darker secrets.
Bleak House: In Four Volumes, Volume 1... (Macmillan Collector's Library)
by Charles DickensBleak House is not only a love story and a tightly plotted murder mystery, but also a condemnation of the corruption at the heart of English society. Part of the Macmillan Collector’s Library; a series of stunning, clothbound, pocket-sized classics with gold foiled edges and ribbon markers. These beautiful books make perfect gifts or a treat for any book lover. This edition has an afterword by David Stuart Davies and original illustrations by H. K. Browne.The inheritance case of Jarndyce and Jarndyce has been going on for generations involving myriad characters from all walks of life. There’s Esther Summerson, Dickens' feisty heroine; Sir Leicester and Lady Dedlock, cocooned in their stately home in Lincolnshire; and Jo, the penniless crossing sweeper. We are drawn in and fascinated by the complex relationships. Indeed in none of Charles Dickens’ other novels is the canvas broader, the sweep more inclusive, the linguistic texture richer and the gallery of comic grotesques more extraordinary.
Bollocks to Alton Towers: Uncommonly British Days Out (Bollocks to Alton Towers #1)
by Joel Morris Jason Hazeley Alex Morris Robin HalsteadThe British Lawnmower Museum, Keith Harding's World of Mechanical Music and Mad Jack's Sugar Loaf. In a world of theme parks, interactive exhibits, over-priced merchandise and queues, don't worry, these are names to stir the soul. Reassuring evidence that there's still somewhere to turn in search of the small, fascinating, unique and, dammit, British.In a stumbling journey across the country in search of the best we have to offer our intrepid heroes discovered dinosaurs in South London, a cold war castle in Essex, grown men pretending to be warships in Scarborough, unexplained tunnels under Liverpool and a terraced house in Bedford being kept warm for Jesus's return. And along the way they met the people behind them all: enthusiasts, eccentrics and, you know, those who just sort of fell into looking after a vast collection of gnomes ...Makes you proud!
The Book of Senior Moments
by Shelley KleinHave you ever referred to your oldest and closest friend as 'Thingy'? Reached the top of the landing, only to realize that you have no idea why you came upstairs in the first place? Congratulations - or commiserations - you've had your first senior moment! Fear not, for help is at hand. The Book of Senior Moments introduces the reader to a wonderful collection of these little passages, drawn from the experiences of everyone from politicians to pundits. It includes exit strategies for when you've been ambushed by your memory, as well as tips on how to avoid getting ambushed in the first place. Part guide, part humorous overview, and crammed with advice, examples, anecdotes, confessions, tips, retorts and excuses, this is an absolutely essential book for anyone growing long in the tooth and short of memory.
Bordeaux Housewives
by Daisy WaughIntroducing the perfect Summer read for 2006. Bordeaux Housewives is a romantic comedy combining a heady mix of sunshine, sex, Sancerre and secrets.
The Boss of It All (Oberon Modern Plays)
by Lars Von TrierA critically acclaimed, smart and fast-paced comedy about faked identities and explosive office politics, adapted from Lars von Trier’s cult classic film. The boss of an IT company is secretly selling up. To save face he hires Kristoffer, an actor, to take the blame. Thrown in at the deep end, the hapless actor gets more than he bargained for. In an office of misfit staff, he faces an unexpected dilemma; to sell off the company or try and save his new-found friends. Through 40 years of making and touring exceptional and original theatre, New Perspectives has established itself as the East Midlands national touring company. This is Jack McNamara’s first adaptation as the company’s Artistic Director.