- Table View
- List View
Monstrous Maud: Big Fright
by A. B. SaddlewickWhen Maud's pet rat, Quentin, escapes in the middle of science class, it's the very last straw. Maud is transferred from Primrose Towers to Rotwood Middle School - to the delight of her teacher, classmates and her perfect twin, Milly - but what is in store at Rotwood? There's something strange about the pupils of Rotwood - everyone's dressed as though it's Halloween and the school's motto is 'Because We Scare'. Is ten-year-old Maud Montague monstrous enough for Rotwood?
Monstrous Maud: Freaky Sleepover (Monstrous Maud Ser. #3)
by A. B. SaddlewickWhen Maud's perfect twin sister, Milly plans a sleepover, Mum forces Maud to have her friends over too. What can possibly go wrong? Nothing much ... just that Maud's mum might find out about Rotwood High being a school for real monsters! As if that's not enough to worry about, Maud is tricked into looking after Violet, the school hamster, by her arch enemy, Poisonous Penelope. But Violet is no ordinary hamster! She's a pedigree vampster and an expert cage-breaker. With a vampster on the loose, sleep is the very last thing that happens! Another terrifyingly terrific tale in the Monstrous Maud series, written by A.B. Saddlewick.
Monstrous Maud: Horror Holiday (Monstrous Maud Ser. #5)
by A. B. SaddlewickThe fifth book in the scarily sensational Monstrous Maud series! Maud loves camping and is excited about going on Wilf's family holiday in the woods. Will she be the first camper ever to solve the Monstrous mystery of the Beast Of Oddington?
Monstrous Maud: Scary Show (Monstrous Maud Ser. #6)
by A. B. SaddlewickThe sixth book in A. B. Saddlewick's terrifyingly terrific Monstrous Maud series. When Maud decides to learn advanced sorcery for the talent show, she can't control her spells. Now Maud has to work out how to do reverse magic - before the whole school guesses her Monstrous secret!
Monstrous Maud: School Scare
by A. B. SaddlewickMaud's beloved school for monsters, Rotwood, is facing closure. The young monsters are determined to help, but they end up accidentally terrifying the inspector during a crucial inspection! Maud suspects a nasty wizard might be plotting to shut the school down. If she's going to foil his plot and save her school, Maud will have to act fast! Another frightfully fantastic book in the Monstrous Maud series, by A.B. Saddlewick.
Monstrous Maud: Spooky Sports Day
by A. B. SaddlewickThe second book in the fantastic Monstrous Maud series, written by A.B. Saddlewick. A miscast spell has created a jungle of man-eating plants across the entire sports pitch at Rotwood Academy and the pupils are now forced to share a field with the only other local school - Primrose Towers. When the two rival schools compete on sports day, will the Rotwood monsters be able to beat the girls of Primrose Towers and Milly, Maud's annoyingly perfect twin? And how will Maud hide the truth about her mysterious new monster school?
More Senior Moments (The Ones We Forgot)
by Shelley KleinMore Senior Moments (The Ones We Forgot) is the hilarious follow-up to the bestselling The Book of Senior Moments, containing all those pearls of wisdom that slipped our minds the first time. If long-term memory means the ability to recall where you put your glasses for longer than thirty seconds, and a keen sense of observation is the realization that they are, in fact, perched on the end of your nose, then you are undoubtedly suffering from chronic senior moments. Crammed full of anecdotes, tips, confessions and advice, More Senior Moments will ensure that getting to grips with newfangled technology, remembering your best friend's name and putting matching socks on will become a breeze. Drawn from the experiences of everyone from politicians to pundits, the famous and not-so-famous, More Senior Moments is essential reading for everyone who is feeling that little bit older, but not so wiser.
The Mums' Book: For The Mum Who's Best At Everything
by Alison MaloneyFor the mum who embraces motherhood and all that it entails, The Mums' Book is a humorous handbook on the ups and downs of being a mother. Featuring: recipes for the perfect fairy cakes tips on how to throw the best children's parties examples of the best games to play on long journeys advice on the best ways to pamper oneselfPlus other invaluable, and bizarre, pearls of wisdom handed down from generation to generation. The Mums' Book is also a celebration of motherhood, a miscellany of hilarious anecdotes and survival techniques from the world's best mums. No mother should be without this informative and amusing guide!
New Moan: The First Book in the Twishite Saga - A Parody
by Stephfordy MayoHeffa Lump is a self-centred seventeen-year-old who needs to grow up and get a life. Fortunately, the Spatula Academy of Fictional Excellence specializes in helping characters from kids' books cross over into adult fiction. Unfortunately, she's distracted from her attempts to leave adolescence behind when she meets Teddy Kelledy - an impossibly gorgeous boy who eats rare meat, is super-strong, and never goes out in daylight. Could he - just maybe - be a vampire? (Hint: totally.) Soon, Heffa finds herself harassed by supernatural forces on all sides: vampire goths peddling the deadly drug 'Emo' all over town, Jacko-worshipping zombies trying to eat her brains, and werewolves lurking in basements reading copies of Wolf Whistle. A fight is coming, and apparently she's involved ... Will Heffa be able to narrate herself out of danger? Will Teddy learn that being with a girl doesn't always have to be about biting? And what will happen when the New Moan rises? New Moan is guaranteed to make any fan laugh out loud with its irreverent and clever take on this popular series, which is brilliantly on the nose.
New Year, Same You
by Geoff TibballsWhat is it about the term ‘wellness’ that sets your teeth on edge? Do you really need someone to come in and help you declutter? Can you truly practice mindful meditation on the train to work every morning? If the answer to all these questions is a resounding ‘no’, then take heart, you’re not alone.What is life without struggle? Everyone knows it’s impossible to float through life on a fluffy pillow of happiness; it just isn’t like that. As Alan Coren once said, ‘To have a grievance is to have a purpose in life.’ Hear hear! This book is for those who look at life from a different angle, not wearing rose-tinted glasses with their glass half full, but for life’s realists: the folk who believe one should never go to bed angry … much better to stay awake and plot your revenge.In New Year, Same You you’ll find lots of laugh-out-loud humour to brighten your day (or not). Filled with words from the wise, this is the perfect book for grumps everywhere, after all, why make one person unhappy when, with a little more thought and effort, you could spread misery to the entire family?
The Northern Monkey Survival Guide: How to Hold on to Your Northern Cred in a World Filled with Southern Jessies
by Tim CollinsFor too long northerners have faced derision at the hands of southerners, whether it be about the northern climate, their thriftiness, or gloomy outlook, but all this is about to change. Now is the time for northerners to rise up as one and growl, 'I'm from t'North and I'm proud!' The Northern Monkey Survival Guide is a collection of reasons to love the North, together with some useful survival tips for anyone who dares to venture south of Birmingham. Including: A north-south currency conversion guide - what a cheese and onion buttie is called and what it costs The Northern Monkey hall of fame - the greatest northerners in history Places to avoid in the 'Beautiful South'. The Northern Monkey Survival Guide is a celebration of the northern outlook on life and the perfect book for all northerners.
The Old Man and Mr. Smith
by Peter UstinovFrom the late and great Peter Ustinov comes a story full of wit, satire and insight.An increasingly decrepit God and a merely ill-tempered Satan are reconciled and attempt a mission to Earth, where their misadventures point up the comedy and tragedy of modern life, as they travel to a variety of countries in the guise of the Old Man (God) and Mr. Smith (Satan), with the FBI and Interpol in hot pursuit.
Out of the Mouths of Babes...: Children say the funniest things
by Shelley KleinYou have to hand it to children. They do have a wonderfully straightforward view of the world, and a way with words that manages to make day-to-day life much more fun. In Out of the Mouths of Babes you'll find a fantastic selection of the side-splitting bloopers, hiccups, innocent misunderstandings and downright funny things that kids have come out with. For example: Kids on love: 'If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long.' Kids on music: 'Handel was half German, half Italian and half English.' Kids on religion: 'St Paul cavorted to Christianity.' Out of the Mouths of Babes is a charming celebration of the unique, quirky - and usually entirely unintentional - humour of children everywhere, for adults who enjoy seeing the funnier side of life.
Outwitting Housework: 101 Cunning Stratagems to Reduce Your Housework to a Minimum
by Barty PhillipsEntertaining and packed full of time-saving tips, Outwitting Housework is an essential guide to making your house gleam without breaking a sweat. Household expert Barty Phillips shares her clever tips for avoiding chores wherever possible, revealing her sanity-saving shortcuts and creative advice for keeping those boring tasks to a minimum.Discover what basic tools of the trade you need and how to use them to bring sparkle, shine and a sense of calm to your home. Learn how to do effective minimal tidying, train errant family members and engage technology to help save you even more effort. Armed with these cunning and creative stratagems, you’ll soon be drying off those rubber gloves and doing something much more fun instead.
Prince of Dorkness: Diary of a Wimpy Vampire (Diary of a Wimpy Vampire)
by Tim CollinsNigel Mullet, the unfortunate and bungling fifteen-year-old vampire, is back! But this time he not only has to deal with his daily trials of bad skin, an annoying little sister, and the worry of his fangs popping out at inopportune moments. Now he's got real problems to get his teeth into. In his latest hilarious diary, Nigel starts the new term as one of the most popular pupils in school, and he's finally got a girlfriend after more than eighty years of being single. But his life soon unravels when a new pupil, Jason, joins the school, and has his sights set firmly on Nigel's girlfriend. Oh, and did we mention that Jason is a werewolf? Vampire and werewolf go head to head in the pursuit of love . . . with hilarious consequences!
QEII We Love You: A Child's-eye Celebration of Queen Elizabeth II
Children answer questions about the Queen in this delightful tribute to our longest-serving monarch and celebration of the innocence of childhood.In September 2015 Queen Elizabeth became Britain's longest-reigning monarch, a position previously held by her great-great-grandmother, Queen Victoria. In this wonderful celebration of her reign, primary school children offer their charming and often hilarious views on the Queen, her life, her work and her corgis.Answering a variety of questions, such as 'What does the Queen do all day?', 'Where does the Queen like to go on holiday?' and 'What does the Queen like to watch on television?', children offer their insights into the Queen's life.Learn how she apparently likes to play with her corgis in the park, sit on her throne while reading the newspaper and drinking wine, watch all the soaps on TV and how she spends her working days waving to people and attending meetings. These entertaining and funny answers are accompanied throughout by the children’s highly imaginative drawings of the Queen.Published to coincide with this landmark occasion, this wonderful book is a tribute to our longest-serving monarch, and celebrates both her reign and the innocence of childhood.
Release Your Inner Old Fart
by Mark LeighIt doesn't take much to get an Old Fart complaining - whether it's about the price of electricity, reality TV, muesli, the metric system, self-checkouts or smoothies. It seems the whole world has it in for him and it's no wonder that he finds himself beginning most sentences with 'I remember when...' and ending them with, 'Those were the days.' Hilariously cynical and gloom-laden, this book contains diatribes, rants, anecdotes and advice for Old Farts everywhere - making life slightly more bearable in the constant struggle against the irritations of modern-day living.
Robin the Hoodie: An ASBO History of Britain
by Hans Christian AsbosenHans Christian Asbosen is back with more wickedly witty tales of ASBO England. Meet King Harold and William the Conqueror, who sorted their differences over a wet bank holiday weekend on the pier at Hastings. Read of Henry VIII and his six wives - Katherine of Argos, Anne of Slag, Catherine the Strict, Anne of Summers, Svetlana of Moscow and Babs of Windsor. And meet Henry the Sly, responsible for hiding a copy of Norse Sluts inside the Doomsday Book. Discover how Francis Drake thrashed the Spanish Armada after he'd finished with a Plymouth ho. . . All of these tales and many more are retold by Asbosen in his unique way for the twenty-first century. Truly hilarious, Robin the Hoodie is guaranteed to make you laugh out loud at the wickedly warped tales - definitely different to those you were taught at school. These tales of blood, swears and teeth are sure to bring history to life for a whole new generation.
S*** My Kids Say
by Nick HarrisChildren have a unique way of looking at the world - they can be wonderfully innocent, or world-weary beyond their years. With entries such as 'Look, it's raining through that boy's trousers!', and 'Can we get something to eat? I'm vanished!', this book collects together the craziest and the funniest stuff that kids say in one hilarious volume - it's guaranteed to have you chuckling your socks off!
School Fail: Hilarious Howlers from School
by Anna TrippIf the scrawl of red pen and a note from teacher to 'see me after class' are familiar memories from your school days, then you are not alone. In School Fail, readers will find a fantastic selection of the side-splitting bloopers, mistakes and misunderstandings that kids have boldly come out with in their school work: from the innocent mispronunciations of younger children, to the facetious, inventive, or just downright stupid remarks of older students who should know better. For example: Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar; 'John Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.'; 'The earth is surrounded by the moon, the sun, Mars and Penis.'Ridiculously funny and endlessly entertaining, School Fail celebrates the unique - and usually entirely unintentional - humour of students everywhere, guaranteed to have readers of any age howling in disbelief.
Sex in Every City: How to Talk Dirty in Every Language
by L. BrookHave you ever wondered why things sound so much sexier when they're said in a foreign language? Ever wanted to say 'Fancy a quickie?' in Czech, or 'Gosh, it's huge!' in Korean? Then look no further than "Sex in Every City". For cunning linguists everywhere comes this indispensable guide to the universal language of love. Packed with smooth lines and raunchy phrases to see you through the dating game abroad, this stylish travel book is guaranteed to get you laid faster than you can ask 'Would you like to see my stamp collection...?'
A Shite History of Nearly Everything
by A. ParodyEccentrically - indeed, irresponsibly - compiled, packed with bizarre ideas, hopeless theories, impossible dreams, preposterous statements, loony prophecies, mad scientists, demented technicians, useless inventions, and much of the often deranged history of our planet, A Shite History of Nearly Everything doesn't just challenge our view of the history of the world; it challenges our very sanity!
Sneezy Alien Attack: Cosmic Colin (Cosmic Colin Ser.)
by Tim CollinsWhen Harry the alien lands his spacebin in his friend Colin's garden, it's time for an adventure!There's just one problem - they'll have to take Colin's naughty, snotty little brother with them... Colin's day is about to turn Cosmic! But when aliens attack, will it end in disaster?
Stinky Space Race: Cosmic Colin (Cosmic Colin Ser.)
by Tim CollinsColin has a strange new classmate. His name is Harry. He is suspiciously neat ... and he spends a lot of time in the bin at the back of the school. When curious Colin dives into the bin after Harry one day, he doesn't find banana peel and custard in there. Rows of lights flicker on, and the bin begins to hum. Colin's day is about to turn Cosmic! With silliness and mayhem, doodles and disasters - this book is perfect for engaging younger readers.
Super Hot Jokes For Cool Kids!
by Michael O'Mara Books"Did you hear the joke about the oak tree?It's acorny one."With over 400 hand-picked jokes in this mega collection, there's plenty to inspire and delight any young comedian. Puns, knock-knock and doctor-doctor jokes abound - but rest assured it's not all corny. Bring out your ghoulish side with a collection of spooky jokes or be blown out of this world by a collection of hilarious astronaut antics. Your friends and family will cry with laughter!