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The Dilemmas of Harriet Carew
by Cristina OdoneHarriet Carew is the endearing heroine of Cristina Odone's popular weekly 'Daily Telegraph' column, 'Posh But Poor'. Based on the character from the column, 'The Dilemmas of Harriet Carew' is the story of her struggle to juggle family life, work and money.
DIY Dentistry
by Andy RileyBunny suicider Andy Riley returns with his own (only mildly) sadistic take on the world of inventions.
The Doings of Hamish and Dougal: You'll Have Had Your Tea?
by Barry Cryer Graeme GardenHello there! You'll have had your tea? Dougal here. Well, here we go, with our wee book. It's a collection or pot pourri (I've no idea what Hamish means by that - it sounds like something to do with the Pope) of our activities or 'doings' in the village we call home, because that's exactly what it is.Together with our housekeeper, Mrs Naughtie, and of course, the Laird who lives up at the big hoose and shoots grouse and other bottles of whisky, these are the actual scripts of our wee show which we performed on the wireless, when most of you were probably in bed! Hamish and I have known each other all our lives - well, not yet, obviously! We have a very close relationship and also with each other. Mrs Naughtie been with us since we first met her at the Krankie Arms, where she was working as part-time barmaid and bouncer.In addition to the scripts you'll find all kinds of other things tucked away under its kilt. There's a hectic social life in the village. You'll visit the 'bide a wee' café, proud possessor of three Michelin tyres. You'll have a conducted tour of the big hoose by Big Tam, our local guide (not during opening hours). You'll marvel at the site of the Battle of Auchtermuchty, now allotments. You'll peek into the Laird's social diary in 'oot and aboot' (40p at the post office). And a great deal more.Well, I hope this wee note will make you hurry to the till and spend the terrible amount of money these wee books cost these days. But then again this particular wee book is Scotland's answer to Richard and Judy! Hurrah!Away now ...
Don't Say I Didn't Warn You: Kids, Carbs, and the Coming Hormonal Apocalypse
by Anita RenfroeWhen I first learned that I was pregnant, I thought this was going to be the most blessed, beautiful, rose-petals-at-my-feet-and-bluebirds-lighting-upon-my-forearm time of my life.Then I went for my first prenatal visit.Which starts with a weigh-in.From comedian Anita Renfroe, already beloved by women's groups and YouTube viewers across America, comes this hilarious and brazenly honest look at motherhood and middle age. Famous for her live performance of the "Mom Song," which barrels through everything a mom says to her kids in a single day to the tune of the "William Tell Overture" (just two minutes and fifty-five seconds), in Don't Say I Didn't Warn You, Renfroe now turns her irreverent and daringly accurate comic eye to other female conditions.In chapters with names like "Brother, Can You Spare an Epidural?" and "Playing Favorites (Or, As a Matter of Fact, I Do Love Your Brother More)," she dares to speak what other women are thinking--but don't say out loud. Using wit and honesty as her weapons of choice, Renfroe shares her deeply funny and relatable takes on everything from weddings to mammograms to every woman's never-ending quest for just one good photo of herself.The world is a bounty of material for Renfroe; with it, she makes a feast of laughter for us all. Don't say we didn't warn you.
Dribble!: The Unbelievable Encyclopaedia of Football
by Harry PearsonTen years in the making, Dribble! is an A-Z of credulity-twanging facts and stories about what Pele once memorably dubbed 'my bloody job'. It includes definitive explanations of everyday phrases such as 'the magic of the cup' and 'low centre of gravity'; a complete guide to becoming a terrace character and an in-depth account of how Roy Keane's pyjamas got him a smack on the nose . . . It also addresses hitherto ignored aspects of the beautiful game, including its longstanding relationship with Country and Western. Johnny Cash dubbed himself 'The Man in Black' in homage to his idol, referee Arthur Ellis and wrote what is arguably the greatest song ever written about the life of an assistant referee - 'I Walk the Line'.
Driven to Distraction
by Jeremy ClarksonJeremy Clarkson is once more Driven to Distraction.Brace yourself. Clarkson's back.And he'd like to tell you what he thinks about some of the most awe-inspiring, earth-shatteringly fast and jaw-droppingly cool cars in the world (oh, and a few irredeemable disasters...).Or he would if he could just get one or two things off his chest first. Matters such as: • The prospect of having Terry Wogan as president• Why you'll never see a woman driving a Lexus • The unforeseen consequences of inadequate birth control • Why everyone should spend a weekend with a diggerDriven to Distraction is Jeremy Clarkson at full throttle. So buckle up, sit tight and enjoy the ride. You're in for a hell of a lot of laughs. Praise for Jeremy Clarkson:'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time OutNumber-one bestseller Jeremy Clarkson writes on cars, current affairs and anything else that annoys him in his sharp and funny collections. Born To Be Riled, Clarkson On Cars, Don't Stop Me Now, Driven To Distraction, Round the Bend, Motorworld and I Know You Got Soul are also available as Penguin paperbacks; the Penguin App iClarkson: The Book of Cars can be downloaded on the App Store.Jeremy Clarkson because his writing career on the Rotherham Advertiser. Since then he has written for the Sun and the Sunday Times. Today he is the tallest person working in British television, and is the presenter of the hugely popular Top Gear.
Driving Like Crazy: Thirty Years of Vehicular Hell-bending
by P. J. O'Rourke'America's greatest prose comedian' -- Anthony Quinn, Sunday TimesGrowing up as the son of a car dealer in Ohio, P. J. O'Rourke, 'the funniest writer in America', has always been crazy about cars. Driving Like Crazy revels in his love for all things vehicular.Jump in and buckle-up. P. J. O'Rourke delivers his rapid-fire wit from the driver's seat of Buicks, Land Rovers, Harley-Davidsons and at least one Soviet army surplus truck. Driving Like Crazy is a hilarious collection of fender-bending pieces that career along at O'Rourke's full-throttle, breakneck Gonzo best...Praise for Driving Like Crazy: 'A rollicking ride through three decades of O'Rourke's car journalism, combining classic articles and new material with his trademark merciless skewering of liberal niceties and political correctness at every turn.' Philip Sherwell, Sunday Telegraph 'P. J. O'Rourke's homage to the highway is an exhilarating and hilarious ride... Nobody can argue with the fantastic forward rush of O'Rourke's prose... it's why you're glad you went along for the ride.' Giles Smith, The Times 'O'Rourke is America's funniest writer, having stolen the flag of Gonzo from Hunter S. Thompson... The pieces make great travel writing - stripped-down, yet evocative. O'Rourke fans will find plenty to enjoy in Driving Like Crazy.' Stephen Price, Sunday Business Post 'Whatever the topic, P J O'Rourke is equal parts hilarity and extremity.' Daily Telegraph
Drugs: A User's Guide (User's Guides Ser.)
by Mike HaskinsSearching for the ultimate stimulant? Something you can have on the bus in the morning or in the ambient comfort of your own home? The latest User's Guide - a totally natural and controlled experience - is just what you've been looking for. It contains everything you always wanted to know about drugs but were afraid to ask: The history of recreational drugs, a catalogue of natural highs and pharmaceuticals, the physiological effects, drugs and religion, drugs and the law, drug customs from around the world, trafficking drugs, drugs in literature, film and art, famous drug takers, drug slang, urban myths, drug legends and horror stories, quotations, tales of outrageous behaviour and a kilo of curious facts and figures. Did you know that- --Scientists have found traces of marijuana among Shakespeare's personal effects--Victorian prime minister Lord Rosebery would snort cocaine to help pep up his public speaking
Election
by Tom PerrottaA brilliantly funny novel from the author of ‘The Abstinence Teacher’ and ‘Little Children’, made into an acclaimed film starring Reece Witherspoon and Matthew Broderick.
Elephants on Acid: The most outrageous experiments from the history of science
by Alex BoeseThe Sunday Times Top Ten BestsellerHave you ever wondered if a severed head retains consciousness long enough to see what happened to it? Or whether your dog would run to fetch help, if you fell down a disused mineshaft? And what would happen if you were to give an elephant the largest ever single dose of LSD? The chances are that someone, somewhere has conducted a scientific experiment to find out... 'Excellent accounts of some of the most important and interesting experiments in biology and psychology' Simon Singh If left to their own devices, would babies instinctively choose a well-balanced diet? Discover the secret of how to sleep on planes Which really tastes better in a blind tasting - Coke or Pepsi?
Enjoyment of Laughter
by Max EastmanHumor at its best is a somewhat fluid and transitory element, but most books about it are illustrated with hardened old jokes from the comic papers, or classic witticisms jerked out of their context. Max Eastman, in this work, avoids this catastrophe by quoting mainly from contemporary American humor. This is not an anthology in that selections have been made with a view to making a point rather than covering the field.The purpose of Eastman's fabled work is to make the reader laugh. Since his early school days, it has seemed to him that textbooks are wrongly written in that they are conducted in a way which ignores the natural operation of the mind. As a result, the opinion is universal, and under the circumstances a fact, that in order to learn anything you have to study. Since this introduction to humor is itself near to writing a textbook, Eastman uses the very text he constructs to illustrate the manner in which textbooks should be written.Examination and classification of the kinds of humorous experience upon the basis of a theory is a science. As such, this work offers a fair chance to illustrate a method of instruction. However, the distinction between a good joke and a bad one will not prevent the reader from making bad jokes nor enable one to make good ones. There is an artistic and playful element that simply cannot be taught. Enjoyment of Laughter presents a total view of the science of laughter and draws upon some of the great American humorists to do so.
Enjoyment of Laughter
by Max EastmanHumor at its best is a somewhat fluid and transitory element, but most books about it are illustrated with hardened old jokes from the comic papers, or classic witticisms jerked out of their context. Max Eastman, in this work, avoids this catastrophe by quoting mainly from contemporary American humor. This is not an anthology in that selections have been made with a view to making a point rather than covering the field.The purpose of Eastman's fabled work is to make the reader laugh. Since his early school days, it has seemed to him that textbooks are wrongly written in that they are conducted in a way which ignores the natural operation of the mind. As a result, the opinion is universal, and under the circumstances a fact, that in order to learn anything you have to study. Since this introduction to humor is itself near to writing a textbook, Eastman uses the very text he constructs to illustrate the manner in which textbooks should be written.Examination and classification of the kinds of humorous experience upon the basis of a theory is a science. As such, this work offers a fair chance to illustrate a method of instruction. However, the distinction between a good joke and a bad one will not prevent the reader from making bad jokes nor enable one to make good ones. There is an artistic and playful element that simply cannot be taught. Enjoyment of Laughter presents a total view of the science of laughter and draws upon some of the great American humorists to do so.
Erewhon: Or, Over The Range (Çol. Utopias Ser.)
by Samuel Butler Peter MudfordSetting out to make his fortune in a far-off country, a young traveller discovers the remote and beautiful land of Erewhon and is given a home among its extraordinarily handsome citizens. But their visitor soon discovers that this seemingly ideal community has its faults - here crime is treated indulgently as a malady to be cured, while illness, poverty and misfortune are cruelly punished, and all machines have been superstitiously destroyed after a bizarre prophecy. Can he survive in a world where morality is turned upside down? Inspired by Samuel Butler's years in colonial New Zealand and by his reading of Darwin's Origin of Species, Erewhon (1872) is a highly original, irreverent and humorous satire on conventional virtues, religious hypocrisy and the unthinking acceptance of beliefs.
Evenings at the Argentine Club
by Julia AmanteVictor and Jaqueline Torres imagined moving to the U.S. would bring happiness and prosperity-instead they found a world of frustration. While Victor put long hours into his restaurant business, Jaqui devoted her life to her daughters, until they grew up and moved on. Even their eldest, Victoria, is torn trying to reconcile being the perfect Argentine daughter and an independent American woman. Antonio and Lucia Orteli face the same realities, especially when their only son Eric leaves their close-knit Argentine community in pursuit of his own dreams. When Eric unexpectedly shows up at the Argentine Club-the heart of the Argentine community in southern California-he starts a series of events that will bring these two families closer than ever. New relationships are formed and old ones are put to the test, as everyone must learn how to balance different cultures-and different dreams-without hurting those they love.
Everyday Drinking: The Distilled Kingsley Amis
by Kingsley AmisHere is the beloved, bestselling compendium of Kingsley Amis's wisdom on the cherished subject of drinking. Along with a series of well-tested recipes (including a cocktail called the Lucky Jim) the book includes Amis's musings on The Hangover, The Boozing Man's Diet, The Mean Sod's Guide, and (presumably as a matter of speculation) How Not to Get Drunk-all leavened with fun quizzes on the making and drinking of alcohol all over the world. Mixing practical know-how and hilarious opinionation, this is a delightful cocktail of wry humor and distilled knowledge, served by one of our great gimlet wits.
F My Life: And You Thought You'd Had a Bad Day...
by The authors of fmylife.comThe idea is simple: in a few sentences, people describe the various moments that have ruined their day. From the sublime and ridiculous to the truly mortifying, these snapshot anecdotes are all 100 per cent genuine, and very, very funny. 'Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded, "I bet you'd probably like to!" FML''Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home and I was calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises. I assumed she had won and I started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML''Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from hitting the wall. FML''Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy of her Twilight book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML''Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said, "Yes." My mom laughed and said, "Good one." My dad, for added effect, said, "Your hand doesn't count." FML'
Fairytale of New York
by Miranda DickinsonAre happy-ever-afters made in Manhattan? Find out in this gorgeous novel, perfect for cold winter nights…
Fear of Hat Loss in Las Vegas
by Brendon BurnsIn early October 2004, Brendon Burns - a delusional, god-fearing, drug addict, manic depressive and award-winning comedian - has a vision of happiness. He imagines himself sitting with two friends in a convertible in the middle of a desert, and for once he feels totally in control of his life. With the (slightly inebriated) voices in his head assuring him that he can recreate this perfect moment, he clearly has no choice but to gather the troops and head out to the US of A in pursuit his dream... Fear of Hat Loss in Las Vegas is the true story of four men - Brendon and his friends Barry Castagnola (the everyman), Paul Provenza (an Italian New Yorker, devout atheist, actor and movie director), and Keith (Barry's dad and best friend) - and their search for happiness and redemption in the heart of the Nevada desert. Demented, depraved, dangerously addictive and yet with a deep heart, soul and spirit, it is a tale of debauchery, mushrooms, fate, hookers, coincidence, stand-up comedy, aliens, Vegas and, ultimately, friendship. Rude, insane, in your face (and off their faces), it is the story of the perfect road trip. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas - unless of course it's really funny. Then Brendon will write a f**king book about it...
A Feast of Freud: The wittiest writings of Clement Freud
by Emma FreudClement Freud, who died suddenly in April 2009, was a man of many parts. His life embraced a variety of careers, including TV chef, gambler, owner of a night club and several racehorses, radio broadcaster, adventurer and - not least - Member of Parliament. Yet, as his son Matthew declared at his funeral, it was Freud's writing that brought us closest to the man.In addition to several books - notably the children's book Grimble (1968), Freud on Food (1978), The Book of Hangovers (1981) and a volume of autobiography, Freud Ego (2001) - he wrote on a vast range of subjects for newspapers and magazines, including the Observer, Sun, Financial Times, Sporting Life, Daily Mail, Tatler, Guardian, New Yorker and Racing Post. A Feast of Freud presents a generous helping of Clement Freud's best and most humorous writing on a broad sweep of topics, including his consuming passions of food, sport, politics and the absurdity of the human condition, reflecting his extraordinarily varied life through the prism of his distinctive deadpan humour. From the pen of the man who once joked of being 'out-grandfathered' by the younger Winston Churchill comes this richly stocked volume that every Freud fan, no matter in which of his many lives they encountered him, will treasure.
The Fidelity Project
by Susan ConleyFriendship, passion and fidelity - nothing's ever simple when it comes to loveJacinta Quirke and Maxine O'Malley, a.k.a. Jax and Max, need a plan, fast. They've just heard rumours that they are about to lose their jobs at advertising agency ACJ in Dublin. Could they make it in the (supposedly) more lucrative world of TV? Their proposal: a documentary on fidelity. Is long-term monogamy a sham as cynical Max believes? Or will Jax, the hopeless romantic, prove her wrong. Putting a variety of couples into the hot seat, they get the cameras rolling. But when they turn on each other's love-lives, the trouble really starts... Friendship, passion and fidelity - nothing's ever simple when it comes to love.
Flood and Fang: Book 1 (Raven Mysteries #1)
by Marcus SedgwickMeet the wonderfully weird Otherhand family and their faithful guardian, Edgar the raven, and discover the dark secrets of Castle Otherhand.Edgar is alarmed when he sees a nasty looking black tail slinking under the castle walls. But his warnings to the inhabitants of the castle go unheeded: Lord Valevine Otherhand is too busy trying to invent the unthinkable and discover the unknowable; his wife, Minty, is too absorbed in her latest obsession - baking; and ten-year-old Cudweed is running riot with his infernal pet monkey. Only Solstice, the black-haired, poetry-writing Otherhand daughter, seems to pay any attention. As the lower storeys of the castle begin mysteriously to flood, and kitchen maids continue to go missing, the family come ever closer to the owner of the black tail...Dedicated website on Raven Mysteries: www.ravenmysteries.co.uk
Football Academy: Reading the Game (Football Academy Ser.)
by Tom PalmerBen is at his happiest playing for United and is getting top marks from the coach. But every day at school is a trial for Ben, as he struggles to hide a huge secret from his teachers and classmates.Ben's secret is starting to affect his game - can he swallow his pride and ask for help before he sidelines himself - for good?
Football’s Funniest Jokes (Funniest Ser.)
by Jim ChumleyFootball is a funny old game and, as this little book shows, it has inspired many laugh-out-loud jokes. Illustrated in full colour, Football’s Funniest Jokes is guaranteed to raise a laugh at half-time or even when your team loses on penalties.