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The World's Stupidest Instructions (The\world's Stupidest S. Ser.)
by Michael O'Mara BooksIf you have ever attempted to swallow a mattress or have forgotten to remove clothes before ironing them then this book will become a vital survival tool. For the rest of us it is a collection of the oddest, funniest and frankly most worrying instructions taken from genuine products around the world. Manufacturers from Turin to Tokyo seem truly concerned that we know their products may be hot after heating, that we should not place fireworks in our mouths or that we should really not use a hairdryer whilst showering. And please remember, your new toaster should not be used underwater.
The World's Stupidest Inventions
by Adam Hart-DavisSometimes the stupidity of humankind is overwhelming, so much so that it is difficult to imagine that we ever walked on the moon or created the wheel. We have distinguished ourselves by our need to invent. Occasionally, however we can get it wrong, very wrong indeed. This is an amusing compilation of the some of the hiccups and the stupidest inventions that very nearly worked.
The World's Stupidest Laws: (pdf)
by David CrombieDid you know? In Australia, children may not purchase cigarettes, but are allowed to smoke them...It is also illegal to read someone's tarot or give them a psychic reading, as these are forms of witchcraft. In Denmark it is not illegal to escape from prison, but if you're caught you must finish the remainder of your sentence. In Singapore, you may not walk around your house while naked, as this is considered to be a form of pornography. In the USA, in the state of Arkansas, alligators may not be kept in the bath ...In Iowa, kisses may last for a maximum of five minutes. The World's Stupidest Laws is essential reading for anyone who's ever been bamboozled by legal lunacy abroad or who's fallen foul of ludicrous laws in their locality.
The World's Stupidest Signs (World's Stupidest S. Ser.)
by Bryony EvensGathered from offices, hotels, shops and roadsides, this collection of seemingly ridiculous signs offers such examples as: "Elephants please stay in your car"; "If you cannot read this, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons"; and "Bargain basement upstairs", as well as - On a cruise ship: Please do not lean on the widow. In a hotel: A sports jacket may be worn to dinner, but not trousers. In a launderette: Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
You Know You're Married When...
by Tessa Clayton'I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.' Rita RudnerLife with the old ball and chain is filled with trials and tribulations and You Know You're Married When... is a warm and witty celebration of married life in all its glory - its pleasures and its pitfalls, irritations and irresistibility, longevity and laughter. From signs you know you're a newlywed (you've stopped wanting to kill Michael Bublé) to a married couple's magical sex life (it disappears), this book is laugh-out-loud reminder that the inevitable has happened, and you too have become a 'married couple'. Filled with real life anecdotes, advice, quips and tips encompassing all things married: the in-laws, anniversaries, and much, much more, this is a book for any 'other half'.
You Know You're Middle-Aged When...
by Alison Rattle Allison ValeDo you feel like all your friends are 'getting old and boring', but you are getting younger by the day? Can you be heard saying the phrase '40 is the new 20'? Is your wardrobe on-trend, but for the second time round? It's official, you're in denial. You are middle-aged! You Know You're Middle-Aged When... is a hilarious collection of stories, anecdotes and quotes about other people's mid-life crises, along with tips on how to spot the telltale signs that youth is no longer on your side.You know you're middle aged-when:You're Too Old to PartyIt's Time to Dress Your AgeYou Feel the Need for SpeedYou Hit the Big 4-0Entertaining and engaging, this book is guaranteed to have any old codger laughing out loud about their own descent into the twilight years.
You Might Be a Zombie and Other Bad News: Shocking but Utterly True Facts!
by The Editors CrackedAlexander Fleming was not the first person to discover penicillin. The adorable-looking duck-billed platypus is actually a poisonous killer. We don't really swallow eight spiders a year in our sleep. And a zombie apocalypse could happen. From the extremely popular humour website Cracked.com, these punchy articles, written with its typical irreverent humour, will enlighten, fascinate and terrify you in equal measure. Packed with a huge range of intriguing facts about horrifying bugs, mythological beasts, illegal cheeses and deadly trampolines, You Might Be a Zombie will make you question what you thought you knew and fill you in on the facts that were too disturbing to teach you in school. This witty collection of trivia is perfect for those who hate to be wrong and love to shock their friends with their knowledge of hilarious and astounding facts.
After Sylvia
by Alan CumynNominated for the Canadian Library Association Book of the Year for Children Award and the TD Children's Literature Award As the new school year unfolds, the magic of the Skye brothers' antic adventures is replaced by a different kind of magic — of stillness, when Owen visits the haunted house in the dead of winter, and of insight, as he begins to see his father in a new light. Owen is growing up, but happily for readers, he never loses his most endearing qualities — his sweet vulnerability, his impulsive courage, and his imagination as big as the sky. The Secret Life of Owen Skye was a smash hit with readers, reviewers and award juries. In After Sylvia, Alan Cumyn has produced a captivating sequel that captures perfectly the bewilderment and joy of being a kid. A funny, poignant, magical book that will delight a broad range of readers.
Autopsy of a Boring Wife
by Marie-Renee LavoieLike a Québécois Bridget Jones’s Diary, Autopsy of a Boring Wife tells the hysterically funny and ultimately touching tale of forty-eight-year-old Diane, a woman whose husband is having an affair because, he says, she bores him. Diane takes the change to heart and undertakes an often ribald, highly entertaining journey to restore trust in herself--and others--that offers an astute commentary on women and girls, gender differences, and the curious institution of twenty-first century marriage. All the details are up for scrutiny in this brisk, yet tender story of a path to recovery. Autopsy of a Boring Wife is a wonderfully fresh novel of the pitfalls of an apparently “boring” life that could be any of ours.
A Boring Wife Settles the Score
by Marie-Renee LavoieThe eagerly anticipated sequel to the critically beloved and bestselling Autopsy of a Boring Wife finds the saucy and ever-appealing Diane, now turning fifty and with the wreckage of her marriage behind her, setting off on a new hilarious journey for romance.A Boring Wife Settles the Score marks the return of Diane, the raunchy and entertaining heroine of the prize-winning and bestselling Autopsy of a Boring Wife. Despite the end of her marriage, Diane still has plenty of love to give. Determined not to waste her days — that’s just not her style — she finds a job in a daycare and solace in cocktails with her best friend, Claudine, who convinces Diane her love life is not over. Diane wants romance and sees no reason why she shouldn’t have it, but she soon discovers, in her typically chaotic and hilarious manner, that for a woman approaching her fifties the task is not so simple as it is for a man.
Columbus and the Fat Lady: And Other Stories (A List)
by Matt CohenFirst published in 1972, Columbus and the Fat Lady introduced readers to Governor General’s Literary Award–winning author Matt Cohen’s skewed and hilarious worldview. By turns funny, surreal, wistful, savagely satirical, and brilliantly inventive, the stories in this collection intrigue and surprise the reader with their unexpected language and plots. He conjures up images that are both absurd and perceptive. From Sir Galahad as a schoolteacher to Christopher Columbus as a carnival attraction, these stories feature the improbable with strength and virtuosity. This collection is a foray into the jungles of life on this planet and the tangled but fascinating interiors of the human head.
A Family Affair
by Nadine BismuthA wry, savvy novel of untidy modern relationships, A Family Affair confirms award-winning author Nadine Bismuth’s place as a remarkable chronicler of contemporary middle-class mores in the manner of Jonathan Franzen, John Irving, and Lorrie Moore. Award-winning novelist and screenwriter for film and television Nadine Bismuth has returned with an unsparing portrait of twenty-first century life. In A Family Affair, love is the first casualty and deceit — towards others, towards oneself — the norm.Kitchen designer Magalie is being cheated upon and so cheats in turn, in the office and with a divorced police officer who has hired her. Her partner, Mathieu, has no idea how to be, and the police officer Guillaume no idea what he wants. So begins a story of messy relationships wrested against the odds from the detritus of failed marriages, the demands of professional lives, and the pull of the internet and its false messages of perfection. With an assiduous eye that is both clinical and sympathetic, Bismuth’s elegant and highly readable novel captures the alienating nature of contemporary life and sheds light on this, our strange new world full of unrequited yearning in a sea of seeming plenty.
The Kids in the Hall: One Dumb Guy
by Paul MyersThe definitive, authorized story of legendary sketch comedy troupe The Kids in the Hall —who will soon be returning for a new original series on Amazon Prime Video. Meticulously researched and written with the full cooperation and participation of the troupe, The Kids in the Hall: One Dumb Guy features exclusive interviews with Dave Foley, Bruce McCulloch, Kevin McDonald, Mark McKinney, and Scott Thompson, as well as key players from their inner circle, including producer Lorne Michaels, the “man in the towel” Paul Bellini, and head writer Norm Hiscock. Marvel as the Kids share their intimate memories and behind-the-scenes stories of how they created their greatest sketches and most beloved characters, from the Chicken Lady and Buddy Cole to Cabbage Head and Sir Simon &Hecubus.The Kids in the Hall: One Dumb Guy spans the entirety of the Kids’ storied career, from their early club shows in Toronto and New York to their recent live reunion tours across North America. Along for the ride are a plethora of fans, peers, and luminaries to celebrate the career and legacy of Canada’s most subversively hilarious comedy troupe. You’ll read tributes from Seth Meyers, Judd Apatow, Garry Shandling, Paul Feig, Mike Myers, David Cross, Michael Ian Black, Brent Butt, Jonah Ray, Dana Gould, Bob Odenkirk, Andy Richter, and Canada’s newest comedy sensation, Baroness Von Sketch. As an added bonus, the book includes never-before-seen photographs and poster art from the personal archives of the Kids themselves.Perfect for diehard fans and new initiates alike, The Kids in the Hall: One Dumb Guy will make you laugh and make you cry … and it may even crush your head.
La Guerre, Yes Sir!
by Roch CarrierVital, funny, moving and assured, La Guerre, Yes Sir! is a surrealist fable set in rural Quebec during WWI and one of the major achievements in Canadian fiction. Canadian Literature greeted its first appearance in these terms: It is the French-Canadian writer Roch Carrier who comes closest to the significance, power and artistry of Faulkner at his best … He might well be able to do for French Canada what Faulkner did for the American South.
Mirror Lake
by Andrée A. MichaudFrom internationally acclaimed crime writer Andrée A. Michaud, a brilliant and original tragicomic thriller about one man’s search for peace and sanctuary amid invasive neighbours and a mysterious death.Retired fifty-something Robert Moreau flees a society he can no longer bear for Mirror Lake, Maine. Little does he suspect that an intrusive neighbour and a mysterious death will quickly dispel any illusions he may have had about finding sanctuary in isolation. The misanthropic Moreau quickly learns that his Thoreau-like vision is a fiction. And as in all fiction, nothing, not even Moreau’s own identity, is certain — except, perhaps, the friendship of his loyal dog, Jeff.In this tragicomic novel of the confusion between the fabular and the real, brilliantly rooted in the forested Quebec-Maine landscape, Moreau is compelled to look deep in Mirror Lake’s shimmering waters and into the eyes of the man he is, was, and could be. Winner of the Prix Ringuet and adapted into a feature film, Mirror Lake is a masterpiece of Michaud’s canon, a playfully genre-mixing psycho-thriller that explores our mysterious existence and the bottomless self.
The Mostly True Story of Pudding Tat, Adventuring Cat
by Caroline AddersonThe delightful adventures of a visually impaired barn cat and his annoying flea, as they set off to experience the world and find themselves participants in some of the most remarkable events of the early twentieth century.Pudding Tat is born on the Willoughby Farm in 1901 — just another one of Mother Tat’s kittens. But it turns out that Pudding is anything but ordinary. He is pure white with pink eyes that, though beautiful, do not see well, and hearing that is unusually acute. He finds himself drawn to the sweet sounds of the world around him — the pattering heartbeat of a nearby mouse, the musical tinkling of a distant stream.Soon the sounds of adventure call to Pudding, too. But before he can strike out into the wide world on his own, he hears a voice — coming from right inside his own ear. A flea has claimed Pudding as his host. The bossy parasite demands that Pudding take him away from the lowly barn and the drunken singing of his fellow fleas. He doesn’t want adventure but a finer life — one where he can enjoy a warm bed and blood flavored not with mice, but with beef tenderloin and cream.Fortunately for this mismatched pair, the world is an extremely interesting place in 1901. Over the next decade and a half, Pudding and his flea find themselves helping to make history — a journey over Niagara Falls in a barrel, a visit to the Pan-American Exposition on the day President McKinley is shot, a luxurious stay in Manhattan with songwriter Vincent Bryan, a terrifying trip on the airship America, and a voyage on the ill-fated Titanic.Through each narrow escape, the call to adventure for the cat, and luxury for his disgruntled flea, beckons them on, right to the devastation of a World War I battlefield. Then Pudding is filled with a new longing, one that brings him, with his flea’s help now, full circle and back home.Correlates to the Common Core State Standards in English Language Arts:CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.RL.4.3Describe in depth a character, setting, or event in a story or drama, drawing on specific details in the text (e.g., a character's thoughts, words, or actions).CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.RL.5.2Determine a theme of a story, drama, or poem from details in the text, including how characters in a story or drama respond to challenges or how the speaker in a poem reflects upon a topic; summarize the text.CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.RL.5.7Analyze how visual and multimedia elements contribute to the meaning, tone, or beauty of a text (e.g., graphic novel, multimedia presentation of fiction, folktale, myth, poem).CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.RL.6.3Describe how a particular story's or drama's plot unfolds in a series of episodes as well as how the characters respond or change as the plot moves toward a resolution.
Some Maintenance Required
by Marie-Renée LavoieBestselling author of Autopsy of a Boring Wife Marie-Renée Lavoie is a master of making us fall in love with her characters. She does it again with the tender coming-of-age story Some Maintenance Required. It is 1993, the last year of school and Laurie’s final spring before adulthood. She works part time at a restaurant and looks after Cindy, her neglected, potty-mouthed little neighbour. Like her mother, Laurie devours books and dreams big. Her father works at a garage, where Laurie constantly struggles to keep her car running. It is here that a budding romance intensifies Laurie’s understanding of class differences, and opens her eyes to a more complicated world. With her big heart, she takes Cindy globe-trotting without even leaving town, and learns how to come to terms with circumstances beyond her control. Life teaches Laurie that everyone requires some maintenance sometimes. A story of taking responsibility and coming into adulthood, Some Maintenance Required is as funny and as impressive as its main character.
The Swells
by Will AitkenIn this darkly hilarious satire by the inimitable Will Aitken, class war erupts aboard a luxury cruise ship. A boatload of white privilege, The Emerald Tranquility is the most luxurious cruise liner afloat, its passengers some of the richest people in the world. Meanwhile the ship’s crew, overworked and underpaid, live packed tightly together in airless below-deck cabins. The passengers encounter a great number of cataclysms at sea, but no matter the catastrophe, the great ship always sails on. Briony, a globetrotting luxury travel writer, emulates the rich — though homeless and penniless herself — as she hops from gig to all-expenses-paid gig. On her own personal voyage, she encounters Mrs. Moore, an enigmatic woman of advanced age clandestinely fomenting a mutiny on this bountiful ship. With the captain overthrown, roles quickly reverse: the crew become the ship’s new leisure class and the aged passengers learn how to mop floors and scrub toilets. Confused and terrified by the resultant chaos, Briony must decide which lot to cast her fate with in this savage satire of the way we live now.
A Trio of Tolerable Tales
by Margaret Atwood Dušan PetričićThree hilarious Margaret Atwood tales, together in a chapter book for the first time!In Rude Ramsay and the Roaring Radishes, Ramsay runs away from his revolting relatives and makes a new friend with more refined tastes.The second tale, Bashful Bob and Doleful Dorinda, features Bob, who was raised by dogs, and Dorinda, who does housework for relatives who don’t like her. It is only when they become friends that they realize they can change their lives for the better.And finally, to get her parents back, Wenda and her woodchuck companion have to outsmart Widow Wallop in Wandering Wenda and Widow Wallop’s Wunderground Washery. Young readers will become lifelong fans of Margaret Atwood’s work and the kind of wordplay that makes these tales such rich fare, whether they are read aloud or enjoyed independently. Reminiscent of Carl Sandburg’s Rootabaga Stories, these compelling tales are a lively introduction to alliteration. Key Text FeaturesillustrationshumourCorrelates to the Common Core State Standards in English Language Arts:CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.RL.3.4Determine the meaning of words and phrases as they are used in a text, distinguishing literal from nonliteral language.CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.RL.5.4Determine the meaning of words and phrases as they are used in a text, including figurative language such as metaphors and similes.CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.RL.5.7Analyze how visual and multimedia elements contribute to the meaning, tone, or beauty of a text (e.g., graphic novel, multimedia presentation of fiction, folktale, myth, poem).
1001 Horrible Facts
by Anne RooneyA cockroach can live for a week after its head is cut off.Ancient Romans made hair dye from pigeon feces.There are more bacteria in your mouth than there are people in the world.These are just a few of the 1001 horrible facts in this brilliant book, covering topics including Science, Body, Animals, History and World Records. It provides the perfect ammunition for 8-12 year-olds to amaze and disgust parents, teachers and each other!
1001 Kids' Jokes
by Kay BarnhamMy dog's a blacksmith. How can you tell? When I tell him off, he makes a bolt for the door. This hilarious joke book is jam-packed with 1001 great gags to get kids giggling! They will pick up puns, one-liners, and knock-knock jokes on many side-splitting topics, including: • Amusing animals • Monster madness • Medical mischief • School shockers • And more! Flick through its pages to mine some comedy gold.
Absolutely Epic Knock Knock Jokes
by Ivy FinneganKnock, Knock ... Who's there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in and you will find out!This book is jam-packed with over 400 knock-knock jokes that will have young readers chortling, chuckling, hooting, and howling. Including wacky wordplay, preposterous puns, silly situations and crazy cartoons, this joke book has it all!Fantastic fun for jokers, japesters, and jesters aged 7+.ABOUT THE SERIES: Bamboozle, befuddle and bowl over young readers with the Absolutely Epic Activity Books. This fab and funny series of puzzles and jokes feature wacky cartoon illustrations and are perfect for kids aged 7+.
The Animal Antics Joke Book (Laugh Out Loud!)
by Sean Connolly Kay BarnhamQ: What's more astounding than a talking dog? A: A spelling bee! Have a whale of a time with this compilation of 140 side-spitting animal jokes. These knock-knock jokes, puns and hilarious one-liners will delight young readers, containing all of their favourite furry friends. Featuring wonderful cartoon illustrations, The Animal Antics Jokes Book will provide hours of entertainment. ABOUT THE SERIES: Laugh Out Loud! is a vibrant and dynamic joke book series for kids. Featuring a variety of exciting themes, these titles build general knowledge and their playful jokes are great to share with family and friends. Perfect for kids aged 5+.
Animal Farm (Arcturus Essential Orwell)
by George OrwellOne of the most celebrated works of modern literature, Animal Farm is George Orwell's satire on the Russian Revolution of 1917 and Stalin's subsequent rule. It tells the story of the animals of Manor Farm, as they rise up against the drunken farmer Mr Jones and the ensuing leadership battle between two pigs, Snowball and Napoleon. They set in motion their 'system of thought', Animalism, a clear play on Communism, with seven tenets including, 'All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.'ABOUT THE SERIES: Arcturus Essential Orwell presents George Orwell's most acclaimed fiction and non-fiction titles with striking contemporary cover-designs. These unique paperback editions are wonderful collectibles which celebrate one of the most important voices of the 20th century.
Animal Farm
by George OrwellOne of the most celebrated works of modern literature, Animal Farm is George Orwell's satire on the Russian Revolution of 1917 and Stalin's subsequent rule. It tells the story of the animals of Manor Farm, as they rise up against the drunken farmer Mr Jones and the ensuing leadership battle between two pigs, Snowball and Napoleon. They set in motion their 'system of thought', Animalism, a clear play on Communism, with seven tenets including, 'All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.'