- Table View
- List View
365 Reasons to be Proud to be a Dad
by Ian AllenBeing a dad is a 365-day job. Let this nifty little book help you along the way, with a hilarious dad-related fact for every day of the year.
Crap Dad Jokes
by Ian AllenWhat do you call a decomposing whale? Mouldy Dick. And that joke sums up, somewhat poorly, the 999 other jokes in Crap Dad Jokes. This is not a joke book that will make most people laugh. It is designed purely for dear ol' Dad. Following hot on the humorous heels of Porticos Very Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes comes this awful sequel for your parental amusement. Crammed with 1000 jokes that will make your silly Dad roll all over on the floor laughing, this book is guaranteed to really annoy the rest of the family. In fact, the jokes are so bad, you'll probably want to tear the book up and feed it to the dog. With that said and done, it's the perfect present for Father's Day and your dad. Because he's worth it. What athlete is warmest in the winter? A long jumper.
Dad Dancing: And Other Embarrassing Dad Behaviour
by Ian AllenIt's official: dads were put onto this planet to embarrass the rest of their families. This hilarious book is a spotter's guide to the innumerable ways Dad can achieve this, whether it's via ridiculous dancing, experimental facial hair, cringeworthy sportswear or putting his foot in it at funerals.
Dad Disasters
by Ian AllenDisasters are terrible things: the sinking of the Titanic, the crash of theHindenburg, the collapse of the Tay Bridge, etc. – not funny at all. But DadDisasters are a completely different kettle of fishfingers. From DIY debacles to motoring mishaps, your typical Dad is highly skilled in putting his foot in it in a variety of hilarious ways. Dad Disasters contains a wealth of stories from around the world illustrating the daft things Dads can get up to without even trying, and the disastrous situations famous Dads have created. Plus, a collection of the silliest things ever done by ordinary Dads to put their own stamp on family history. And, of course, no book for Dads would be complete without a sprinkling of jokes old and new about dopey Dads and their travails. Whether the Dad in your life is a seasoned veteran with all the campaign medals or a terrified new recruit who still doesn’t which way up the baby goes, this is the perfect book for him.
Even More Embarrassing Dad Jokes: So Bad They're Actually Good
by Ian AllenThe follow-up to Ian Allen’s uproarious Embarassing Dad Jokes, Even More Embarrassing Dad Jokes takes the ‘dad joke book’ to a new dimension!
Extremely Embarrassing Dad Jokes
by Ian AllenWhat happened to the man with five legs? His trousers fit him like a glove.
Grumpy Old Git Jokes: Because Life's Not All Fun, Fun, Fun
by Ian AllenRailing against the world? Fed up with everything? In need of a hefty dose of cynical humour? Then Grumpy Old Git Jokes is the book for you.
The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes: Because Your Dad Thinks He's Hilarious
by Ian AllenWhy did the banana go to the doctors? Because he wasn't peeling very well!
The Dungeons of Arcadia
by Dan AllenBased on the board game Super Dungeon Explore, this hilarious children's series follows the adventures of questing heroes as they take down evil and rescue the missing princesses of Crystalia.
Pizza Boy and the Super Squad
by Dan AllenKids will laugh out loud as they follow the adventures of extraordinary children making a big difference in a small town. For Pizza Boy and the Super Squad, it's time to take a slice out of crime!
Milo Moss Is Officially Un-Amazing
by Lauren Allbright"A winning new book about losing." --Chris Grabenstein, #1 New York Times bestselling authorModern Family meets The Miscalculations of Lightning Girl in this humorous and heartfelt story about a boy desperately trying to achieve a Guinness World Record and ultimately discovering what winning really means along the way.Twelve-year-old Milo Moss has been on a mission to achieve his family's lifelong goal: breaking a Guinness World Record. It's why he and his parents, along with thousands of others, are standing in the middle of a football stadium dressed as human-sized cockroaches.But when the record attempt doesn't exactly go as planned, Milo and his family are failures once again. Now more than ever, Milo needs support from his best friend, Jesse (who also happens to be his nephew -- don't ask, it's complicated). But when Jesse discovers the truth about Milo's record attempt, he pressures him to come clean to the whole school.Desperate to avoid public humiliation, Milo must team up with an unlikely ally to stop the record madness once and for all. Will Milo be able to leave behind his dream of breaking into Guinness? Or will he learn that sometimes there's more to life than winning?"Hilarious and bursting with hijinks from beginning to end." --Stacy McAnulty, author of The Miscalculations of Lightning Girl
The Last Charm
by Ella Allbright'A gorgeously romantic love story full of heart and poignancy that lasts long after the beautifully uplifting ending' Alex Brown, bestselling author of A Postcard from Italy A moving and heartwarming love story perfect for fans of Me Before You and One Day in December.
Android in The Attic
by Nicholas AllanAunt Edna has created a no-nonsense nanny android to make sure Billy and Alfie don't have any fun. But then Alfie discovers how to override Auntie Anne-Droid's programming and nothing can stop them eating all the Cheeki Choko Cherry Cakes they like ... until the real aunt Edna is kidnapped!
Cinderella's Bum
by Nicholas AllanA big sister is horrified when she can't fit into her swimming costume. Her BOTTOM IS SOO BIG! But her little sister has some good advice.There follows a wonderful romp through history and fairyland, as the little sister explains exactly why a big bottom can be useful. Father Christmas needs one for crash landings and, if you are a queen, a big bum is vital to keep you comfy while sitting on your throne . . . Once again Nicholas Allan combines laugh-out-loud humour with real insight that cannot fail to raise a smile.
Father Christmas Comes Up Trumps!
by Nicholas AllanFather Christmas is back, and this time he's had three helping of sprouts! As he tries to deliver the presents, his tummy rumbles, gurgles and groans, but Father Christmas knows he must keep it in - he doesn't want to wake anyone up!Will he come up TRUMPS?
The Giant's Loo Roll
by Nicholas AllanThis rip-roaring, read-aloud delight follows a giant's toilet roll as it goes on a crazy journey through town, leaving havoc in its wake. What will the townsfolk do with all the enormous sheets of paper? They could build a paper plane, or make 100s of pairs of pants. . . But will there be any paper left for the giant in his time of need?
Jesus' Christmas Party (Red Fox Picture Bks.)
by Nicholas AllanA special new enlarged edition of the bestselling Christmas story told from the point of view of the grumpy innkeeper. When a night of angels, shepherds and bright stars keeps him from his sleep, is there anything that will cheer him up?
The Prince and the Potty
by Nicholas AllanA jolly escapade through the world of potties, royalty and tiny accidents in this hilarious romp from the bestselling creator of The Queen's Knickers, Nicholas Allan.It's time for the prince to use his potty, so it's off to the Royal Potty Workshop! There are singing potties, potties pulled by corgis, and even super-duper flying Royal Robo-Potties!But it's hard work finding the perfect potty for the job ... especially when disaster strikes. Can the Royal Baby find his own solution?Praise for The Royal Nappy:"Lots of fun" The Sun
The Queen's Knickers (Mini Treasures Ser.)
by Nicholas AllanIt's a busy year for the Queen - she has lots of important events to attend. Meanwhile, a little girl is wondering what knickers Her Majesty will choose to wear on a school visit! Will they be her 'at home' knickers - adorned with corgis - or her 'garden party' knickers, or perhaps her woolly Balmoral ones...?Both children and adults will love this very special and endearing insight into a child's imagination, from the best-selling author-illustrator of Father Christmas Needs A Wee and Jesus' Christmas Party.Recently, the Queen visited a nursery in Norfolk and enjoyed a display based on the book:"...just to make it special, there was one element that was not quite so traditional: pants. These were not just any pants, either. They were the Queen's Knickers, and at Dersingham Infant and Nursery School, in Norfolk, they were put on special display in honour of their royal visitor" ~ Valentine Low, The Times
The Royal Nappy: A Royal Baby Book
by Nicholas AllanMeet the Royal Baby and of course, Nanny, who looks after the Royal Baby and the all-important Royal Nappy Cabinet!A funny, warm look at the royal nappy through history - from Henry VIII to the present day and a very special new arrival...Find out where the royal nappies are made, the different kinds for every occasion (parachuting nappies say, or shiny nappies for palace floors - whee!), and what happens when the royal nappies... run out!
Poppy Shakespeare: A Novel
by Clare AllanHighly original and darkly funny, Clare Allan's debut novel explores the relationship between N., a patient in a mental institution, and Poppy Shakespeare, a new and disturbingly 'sane' arrival who finds herself having to feign mental illness in order to be released. There are 25 residents at the Dorothy Fish, one for each letter of the alphabet - the 'X' chair is vacant. The day hospital sits on the bottom floor of an impossibly tall tower, stretching so high into the sky that its uppermost residents can see right round the world and back in through the window behind them. The system is simple: the crazier you are, the higher up the tower they put you. When Poppy Shakespeare arrives, N. has already been at Dorothy Fish for thirteen years, and spends her days quietly, smoking in the common room and swapping medication with her fellow patients. But what happens in the next six months will change both of their lives forever. In this inventive and brutally comic novel, Clare Allan captures the familiar and sometimes terrifying idiosyncrasies of a modern institution, asking the question: who is mad and who is sane? And who gets to decide? By turns hilarious and heartbreaking, Poppy Shakespeare is a significant achievement of voice and insight.
The World of Alphonse Allais
by Alphonse Allais Miles KingtonIn one of his Independent pieces Miles Kington once referred to a volume of Edward Lear's limericks translated into French. Not an easy task, you might think, and in translating Alphonse Allais into English, Miles Kington set himself a similar challenge. He carried it off with panache. As Max Harrison said in The Times, '... has done a difficult job well, even preserving some of Allais's puns'.Alphonse Allais has been described as the greatest humorous writer ever. In the words of Lisa Appignanesi, 'Allais was a consummate absurdist. From an ordinary phenomenon, simple sentiment or situation, he would logically deduce the looniest, most macabre and most unexpected result ... His humour kept all Paris, high and low, waiting breathlessly for the paper which would carry his next tale ...'On first publication, in 1976, Clive James in the Observer said 'Allais has been dead 70 years but his mocking tone ensures him a permanently relevant after-life'. And John Sturrock in the New Statesman, 'Allais stands, along with Jarry, at the head of the most dazzling and highly educated tradition of French humour, as witty as it is whimsical'. Faber Finds offers this rare book as a tribute not only to Alphonse Allais but also Miles Kington, two great humorists in tandem.
Miss Lattimore's Letter
by Suzanne AllainThe woman who never made a match of her own is making matches for everyone else in this hilarious comedy of manners from the author of Mr Malcolm's List.Sophronia Lattimore had her romantic dreams destroyed years ago and is resigned to her role as chaperone for her cousin. Still, she cannot sit idly by when she becomes aware that a gentleman is about to propose to the wrong woman. She sends him an anonymous letter that is soon the talk of the town, particularly when her advice proves to be correct. Her identity is discovered and Sophie, formerly a wallflower, becomes sought after for her 'expert' matchmaking skills. Three unexpected arrivals soon show up at Sophie's door - the man who once broke her heart, a newlywed who is dissatisfied with the match Sophie made for her, and the man madly in love with Sophie's cousin - all wanting her attention. But when her one-time beau and an eligible new acquaintance both appear to be interested in her, Sophie can't figure out if she's headed for another broken heart or for the altar. How can she be expected to help other people sort out their romantic lives when her own is such a disaster?
Mr Malcolm's List: a bright and witty Regency romp, perfect for fans of Bridgerton
by Suzanne Allain'A charming, light-hearted confection, with humour, sparkling banter and gently simmering romantic tension' Anne GracieIt is a truth universally acknowledged that an arrogant bachelor insistent on a wife who meets the strictest of requirements - deserves his comeuppance . . .The Honourable Mr. Jeremy Malcolm is searching for a wife, but not just any wife. As the target of matchmaking mothers and desperate debutantes, he's determined to avoid the fortune hunters and find a near-perfect woman, one who will meet the qualifications on his well-crafted list. But after years of searching, he's beginning to despair of ever finding this paragon. Until Selina Dalton arrives in town.Selina, a vicar's daughter of limited means and a stranger to high society, is thrilled when her friend Julia Thistlewaite invites her to London, until she learns it's all part of a plot to exact revenge on Mr. Malcolm. Selina is reluctant to participate in Julia's scheme, especially after meeting the irresistible Mr. Malcolm, who appears to be very different from the arrogant scoundrel of Julia's description.But when Mr. Malcolm begins judging Selina against his unattainable standards, Selina decides that she has some qualifications of her own. And if he is to meet them he must reveal the real man behind Mr. Malcolm's List.'Fresh and spirited . . . a delightful tale' Amanda Quick'A merry romp' Mary Balogh
I Wonder What I’m Thinking About?
by Moose AllainI Wonder What I’m Thinking About brings artist and illustrator Moose Allain’s best creations together in one place, in a colourful, amusing and sometimes confusing collector’s item.Moose draws cartoons, comic strips, book illustrations, doodles, diagrams, maps and guides. He uses Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Vine and Photoshop. He makes photographs, captions, logos, web graphics, animations and films. He paints and he draws and he doodles. He writes short stories, puns, riddles, essays, to-do lists and to-don’t lists. He draws ducks, bees, Vikings, eggs, sheep, umbrellas and flowers.If you’ve ever wondered what he’s thinking about… this is it. This book is filled to the brim with the best of his work, and at the heart of it Moose tries to work out just what it is that unites his amalgam of unique, funny and distinctly varied work.