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A Wayne in a Manger
by Gervase PhinnA Wayne in a Manger is the hilarious compilation of nativity stories by Gervase Phinn.Discover some wonderfully funny and touching nativity play anecdotes, including children forgetting their lines, ad-libbing, falling of the stage, picking their noses and showing their knickers. One brilliant anecdote tells of an innkeeper who generously says there's plenty of room for Mary and Joseph, while another child, jealous of Joseph's starring role, allows Mary to come in but not Joseph, who can 'push off' ... There's the baby Jesus who suddenly pipes up with 'My name is Tammy, are you my Mommy?' and funniest of all, Mary who tells Joseph, 'I'm having a baby - oh and it's not yours'.Gervase Phinn's A Wayne in a Manger is the perfect gift this Christmas.'Gervase Phinn's memoirs have made him a hero in school staff-rooms' Daily TelegraphGervase Phinn is an author and educator from Rotherham who, after teaching for fourteen years in a variety of schools, moved to North Yorkshire to be a school inspector. He has written autobiographies, novels, plays, collections of poetry and stories, as well as a number of books about education. He holds five fellowships, honorary doctorates from Hull, Leicester and Sheffield Hallam universities, and is a patron of a number of children's charities and organizations. He is married with four adult children. His books include The Other Side of the Dale, Over Hill and Dale, Head Over Heels in the Dales,The Heart of the Dales, Up and Down in the Dales and Trouble at the Little Village School.
Wayside School Gets a Little Stranger
by Louis SacharWhen a substitute teacher is called to stand in for Mrs Jewls, it can mean only one thing – strange things are going to happen at Wayside School. Miss Mush has prepared a special lunch of baked liver in purple sauce and it is pet day on the thirtieth floor. There are dogs and cats and frogs and skunks and an orange named Fido, causing a terrible commotion. Not to mention the arrival of the POOPS handbook in the playground …Enjoy all the fun in this enormously humorous and quirky introduction to Louis Sachar's famously dry wit. From top to bottom, Wayside is packed with quirky and hilarious characters who are all brought to life in this new edition with delightful illustrations by Aleksei Bitskoff. This is an unmissable, irrepressible story of mixed-up mayhem from Louis Sachar, the bestselling author of Holes.
Wayside School Gets a Little Stranger
by Louis SacharWhen a substitute teacher is called to stand in for Mrs Jewls, it can mean only one thing – strange things are going to happen at Wayside School. Miss Mush has prepared a special lunch of baked liver in purple sauce and it is pet day on the thirtieth floor. There are dogs and cats and frogs and skunks and an orange named Fido, causing a terrible commotion. Not to mention the arrival of the POOPS handbook in the playground …Enjoy all the fun in this enormously humorous and quirky introduction to Louis Sachar's famously dry wit. From top to bottom, Wayside is packed with quirky and hilarious characters who are all brought to life in this new edition with delightful illustrations by Aleksei Bitskoff. This is an unmissable, irrepressible story of mixed-up mayhem from Louis Sachar, the bestselling author of Holes.
Wayside School Is Falling Down (Wayside School Ser.)
by Louis SacharWelcome back to a new year at Wayside School – where things are as strange and eccentric as ever.There are twenty-nine kids in Mrs Jewls's class on the thirtieth floor, and this book is about all of them: there is Todd, who is in trouble every day, until he gets a magic dog; Paul, whose life is saved by Leslie's pigtails; Ron, who dares to try the cafeteria's mushroom surprise; and all the others who help turn each day at Wayside School into one madcap adventure after another.From top to bottom, Wayside is packed with quirky and hilarious characters who are all brought to life in this new edition with delightful illustrations by Aleksei Bitskoff. Part of Louis Sachar's much-loved Wayside School series, this is an unmissable, irrepressible story of mixed-up mayhem from the bestselling author of Holes.
Wayside School Is Falling Down
by Louis SacharWelcome back to a new year at Wayside School – where things are as strange and eccentric as ever.There are twenty-nine kids in Mrs Jewls's class on the thirtieth floor, and this book is about all of them: there is Todd, who is in trouble every day, until he gets a magic dog; Paul, whose life is saved by Leslie's pigtails; Ron, who dares to try the cafeteria's mushroom surprise; and all the others who help turn each day at Wayside School into one madcap adventure after another.From top to bottom, Wayside is packed with quirky and hilarious characters who are all brought to life in this new edition with delightful illustrations by Aleksei Bitskoff. Part of Louis Sachar's much-loved Wayside School series, this is an unmissable, irrepressible story of mixed-up mayhem from the bestselling author of Holes.
We: Introduction by Will Self (Momentum Classics Ser.)
by Yevgeny Zamyatin Will Self Natasha RandallWITH AN INTRODUCTION BY WILL SELFThe citizens of the One State live in a condition of 'mathematically infallible happiness'. D-503 decides to keep a diary of his days working for the collective good in this clean, blue city state where nature, privacy and individual liberty have been eradicated. But over the course of his journal D-503 suddenly finds himself caught up in unthinkable and illegal activities - love and rebellion.Banned on its publication in Russia in1921, We is the first modern dystopian novel and a satire on state control that has once again become chillingly relevant.
We Are All Made of Glue
by Marina LewyckaWe Are All Made of Glue is the wickedly funny third novel from bestselling author Marina Lewycka. Georgie Sinclair's life is coming unstuck. Her husband's left her. Her son's obsessed with the End of the World. And now her elderly neighbour Mrs Shapiro has decided they are related. Or so the hospital informs her when Mrs Shapiro has an accident and names Georgie next of kin. This, however, is not a case of a quick ward visit: Mrs Shapiro has a large rickety house full of stinky cats that needs looking after and that a pair of estate agents seem intent on swindling from her. Plus there are the 'Uselesses' trying to repair it (uselessly). Then there's social worker who wants to put her in a nursing home. Not to mention some letters that point to a mysterious, painful past. As Georgie tries her best to put Mrs Shapiro's life back together somehow she much stop her own from falling apart. . . 'Vibrant dialogue, a family meltdown, a clash of cultures and a wonderful cast of expertly observed characters. Pure laugh-out-loud social comedy' Daily Mail 'Excellent, irresistible' Scotland on Sunday 'Hilarious. A big-hearted confection of the comic and the poignant' Literary Review 'A big, bustling novel, told with enthusiasm by a narrator who is warm, winningly disaster-prone and, crucially, believable' Spectator Bestselling author Marina Lewkyca has received great critical acclaim since the publication of her hilarious first novel A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian in 2005, which was the winner of the Bollinger Everyman Prize for Comic Fiction 2005, winner of the Saga Award for Wit 2005, shortlisted for the Orange Prize for Fiction 2005 and longlisted for the Booker prize 2005. Her other humorous novels Two Caravans (published as Strawberry Fields in the USA and Canada) and Various Pets Alive and Dead are also available from Penguin.
We Are All Made of Molecules
by Susin NielsenMeet Stewart. He’s geeky, gifted and sees things a bit differently to most people. His mum has died and he misses her all the more now he and Dad have moved in with Ashley and her mum.Meet Ashley. She’s popular, cool and sees things very differently to her new family. Her dad has come out and moved out – but not far enough. And now she has to live with a freakazoid step-brother.Stewart can’t quite fit in at his new school, and Ashley can’t quite get used to her totally awkward home, which is now filled with some rather questionable decor. And things are about to get a whole lot more mixed up when these two very different people attract the attention of school hunk Jared. . .
We Are Animals
by Tim EwinsA cow looks out to sea, dreaming of a life that involves grass.Jan is also looking out to sea. He’s in Goa, dreaming of the passport-thief who stole his heart (and his passport) forty-six years ago. Back then, fate kept bringing them together, but lately it seems to have given up.Jan has not. In his long search he has accidentally held a whole town at imaginary gunpoint in Soviet Russia, stalked the proprietors of an international illegal lamp-trafficking scam and done his very best to avoid any kind of work involving the packing of fish. Now he thinks if he just waits, if he just does nothing at all, maybe fate will find it easier to reunite them.His story spans fifty-four years, ten countries, two imperfect criminals (and one rather perfect one), twenty-two different animals and an annoying teenager who just…Will…Not…Leave.But maybe an annoying teenager is exactly what Jan needs to help him find the missing thief?Featuring a menagerie of creatures, each with its own story to tell, We Are Animals is a quirky, heart-warming tale of lost love, unlikely friendships and the certainty of fate (or lack thereof).For the first time in her life the cow noticed the sun setting, and it was glorious.
We Are The Beaker Girls
by Jacqueline WilsonJess Beaker is having an amazing summer at her new seaside home! Jess and her mum Tracy have left the Duke Estate behind them, and have moved to Cooksea. They have new friends, their dog Alfie, and they’re running an antiques shop called… The Dumping Ground! But as lovely as it is to live by the sea, trouble still seems to be following the Beaker Girls. Horrible Sean is back on the scene, a local kid is picking on Jess, and their beloved Cam isn’t just round the corner anymore. Can the Beaker Girls make a success of their new life? Tracy won’t go rushing back to that awful boyfriend … will she? The totally hilarious and mega-brilliant Jess and Tracy Beaker return in this fantastic story of unconventional families, and unconditional love.Praise for Tracy Beaker:‘Wilson can still step effortlessly into the mind of a nine year old, and her chatty prose will sweep you along’ – The Daily Telegraph ‘This warm-hearted story about the importance of family and friends is classic Jacqueline Wilson’ – First News‘[A] cosy woolly jumper of a book about wish fulfilment and its alternatives’ – The Observer
We Are Family
by Nicola Gill‘Nicola's humour is perfect – that delicious combination of quirky, wry, and punchy. We Are Family sings with comedy!’ ABIGAIL MANN, author of The Lonely Fajita ‘Warm and witty – I quickly grew to love the characters.’ BETH O’LEARY, Sunday Times bestselling author of The Flatshare and The Switch
We Are Fearless Queens: Killer clapbacks from modern icons
by Pop Press'I'm not looking for a man, let's start there' - RihannaIt's time to turn your sass level up to 100! This collection of words of wisdom from trailblazers such as Bllie Eilish, Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, Lizzo, Beyoncé, and Ariana Grande, will show you how.From fierce clapbacks in the face of sexism to inspiring quotes about equality, relationships, body positivity, and careers, let these icons make you feel stronger, more empowered, and teach you how to be the ultimate Queen.
We Are Giants
by Amber Lee Dodd'A total page-turner...very moving and touching.' JACQUELINE WILSONA brilliantly funny and wonderfully warm-hearted story about love, family, and what it means to be different. Sydney thinks her mum Amy is the best mum in the world - even if she is a bit different. When everyone else kept growing, Amy got to four feet tall and then stopped right there. The perfect height, in Sydney's opinion: big enough to reach the ice cream at the supermarket, small enough to be special. Sydney's dad died when she was only five, but her memories of him, her mum's love and the company of her brave big sister Jade means she never feels alone . . . But when the family are forced to move house, things get tricky. Sydney and Jade must make new friends, deal with the bullies at their new school and generally figure out the business of growing up in a strange new town.And Sydney doesn't want to grow up - not if it means getting bigger than her mum...
We Are Never Meeting in Real Life: Essays
by Samantha Irby'I cannot remember the last time I was so moved by a book. We Are Never Meeting in Real Life is as close to perfect as an essay collection can get.' - Roxane Gay, New York Times bestselling author of Difficult Women and Bad FeministIn this painfully funny collection, Samantha Irby captures powerful emotional truths while chronicling the rubbish bin she calls her life. From an ill-fated pilgrimage to Nashville to scatter her estranged father's ashes to awkward sexual encounters to the world's first completely honest job application, and more, sometimes you just have to laugh, even when your life is permanently pear-shaped.
We Are Pirates
by Daniel HandlerA boat has gone missing. Goods have been stolen. There is blood in the water. It is the twenty-first century and a crew of pirates is terrorizing the San Francisco Bay.Phil is a husband, a father, a struggling radio producer and the owner of a large condo with a view of the water. But he'd like to be a rebel and a fortune hunter.Gwen is his daughter. She's fourteen. She's a student, a swimmer and a best friend. But she'd like to be an adventurer and an outlaw.Phil teams up with his young, attractive assistant. They head for the open road, attending a conference to seal a deal.Gwen teams up with a new, fierce friend and some restless souls. They head for the open sea, stealing a boat to hunt for treasure.We Are Pirates! is a novel about our desperate searches for happiness and freedom, about our wild journeys beyond the boundaries of our ordinary lives.Also, it's about a teenage girl who pulls together a ragtag crew to commit mayhem in the San Francisco Bay, while her hapless father tries to get her home.
We Are Pirates
by Daniel HandlerMega-bestselling author Daniel Handler (aka Lemony Snicket) gives us his long-awaited new novel for adult readers: a dark, rollicking, stunningly entertaining human comedy.A boat has gone missing. Goods have been stolen. There is blood in the water. It is the twenty-first century and a crew of pirates is terrorizing the San Francisco Bay.Phil is a husband, a father, a struggling radio producer, and the owner of a large condo with a view of the water. But he'd like to be a rebel and a fortune hunter.Gwen is his daughter. She's fourteen. She's a student, a swimmer, and a best friend. But she'd like to be an adventurer and an outlaw.Phil teams up with his young, attractive assistant. They head for the open road, attending a conference to seal a deal.Gwen teams up with a new, fierce friend and some restless souls. They head for the open sea, stealing a boat to hunt for treasure.We Are Pirates is a novel about our desperate searches for happiness and freedom, about our wild journeys beyond the boundaries of our ordinary lives. Also, it's about a teenage girl who pulls together a ragtag crew to commit mayhem in the San Francisco Bay, while her hapless father tries to get her home.
We are the Glampions! (The Happy Glampers #4)
by Daisy Tate‘Amazing characters and funny storyline’ ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐Amazon reviewer ‘You are going to love this series! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐Goodreads reviewer ‘Lovely tale of female friendships’ ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐Goodreads reviewer
We Are the Wibbly!
by Sarah TagholmThe funny, heartfelt and irresistible story of one small creature's epic journey from frogspawn to frog.OH MY CRIKEYS!Doesn't life move fast? One moment you're in the Wibbly, relaxing with your Wibbly friends. The next, they've all grown tails and turned into tadpoles! And what's more, they are bursting OUT of the Wibbly ... AND you've got to keep up! Some tadpoles don't feel ready to become frogs.And some never wanted to become tadpoles in the first place. This heartwarming, hilarious story speaks perfectly to the anxiety that children can feel about keeping up with those around them – perfect for fans of Oi Frog! and Tad by Benji Davies.
We Could Be Heroes
by Tom Fordyce Ben DirsBen: Do you ever worry you’ll die without having left a mark? Tom: What about when you won that 3 a.m. break-dancing battle with the overweight Australian girl? Ben: It’s not enough. I want to go down in history. Tom: You’re called Ben Dirs. You will. Finely-tuned triathlete Tom Fordyce and hopeless smoker Ben Dirs have made a living blogging for the BBC about the triumphs and tribulations of sport at its highest level – but they will never be World Champions themselves. Well, unless they can find some really pointless sporting challenges… From the gripping slow-motion drama of the World Sauna Championships to the Cotswold Olympicks, in which ‘competitors, wearing boots, attempt to kick each other,’ We Could Be Heroes is a collection of brilliantly funny gonzo despatches from the frontline of sport. If you can race Ben Fogle up a Yorkshire hillside carrying a sack of coal, or kick the shin out of Rory McGrath, you could be the Champion of the World – and what’s more, you’ll have very, very sore shins, my son.
We Don't Eat This!: Independent Reading Green 5 (Reading Champion #4)
by Sue GravesThis story is part of Reading Champion, a series carefully linked to book bands to encourage independent reading skills, developed with Dr Sue Bodman and Glen Franklin of UCL Institute of Education (IOE)Ben and Jack really want to help on the farm, but the animals just do not like the food they're handing out!Reading Champion offers independent reading books for children to practise and reinforce their developing reading skills.Fantastic, original stories are accompanied by engaging artwork and a reading activity. Each book has been carefully graded so that it can be matched to a child's reading ability, encouraging reading for pleasure.
We Have a Good Time ... Don't We?: A Regular Human Girl Decides
by Maeve HigginsIn her hilarious debut, Maeve Higgins smashes the brittle veneer on the creme brulée of life and hands around spoons, so we can all taste the delicious absurdity that lies beneath. She then promises to stop making terrible food analogies about everything.From terrifying hen nights, malevolent dolphins and angry bakers, to runaway cats, a stalker who won't commit and the curse of over-politeness, Maeve writes with warmth and wit about what it's like to be a regular human girl. We Have a Good Time...Don't We? introduces a strikingly original voice that celebrates the truth of what we really feel about ourselves through these hilarious and perceptive snapshots of life.
We Have No Idea: A Guide to the Unknown Universe
by Daniel Whiteson Jorge Cham'This witty book reveals the humbling vastness of our ignorance about the universe, along with charming insights into what we actually do understand' Carlo Rovelli, author of Seven Brief Lessons on Physics and Reality Is Not What It SeemsIn our small corner of the universe, we know how some matter behaves most of the time and what even less of it looks like, and we have some good guesses about where it all came from. But we really have no clue what's going on. In fact, we don't know what about 95% of the universe is made of. So what happens when a cartoonist and a physicist walk into this strange, mostly unknown universe? Jorge Cham and Daniel Whiteson gleefully explore the biggest unknowns, why these things are still mysteries, and what a lot of smart people are doing to figure out the answers (or at least ask the right questions). While they're at it, they helpfully demystify many complicated things we do know about, from quarks and neutrinos to gravitational waves and exploding black holes. With equal doses of humour and delight, they invite us to see the universe as a vast expanse of mostly uncharted territory that's still ours to explore. This is a book for fans of Brian Cox and What If. This highly entertaining highly illustrated book is perfect for anyone who's curious about all the great mysteries physicists are going to solve next.
We Just Clicked
by Anna BellA fabulously funny, feel-good novel that will make you laugh until you cry, for anyone who’s ever presented a perfectly-filtered life online to hide the unglamorous reality.
We Made A Movie (We Won an Island #2)
by Charlotte LoThe funny, heart-warming sequel to the acclaimed We Won an IslandWhen Luna's family won an island, their dreams came true - Luna opened a donkey sanctuary, her sister flew a plane, and her brother won a sheep pageant. But Luna's new donkey has a mortal fear of beaches, her mum's goat-yoga business is on the rocks, and her brother is weirder than ever! Luna's got a brilliant plan to solve her family's problems - it's time to enter the movie-making business...A laugh-out-loud story of family, fun and sunny adventures from the author of We Won An Island, one of The Telegraph's best 50 books of 2019: "This book is definitely a bask in the sun." Telegraph
We Made Uranium!: And Other True Stories from the University of Chicago's Extraordinary Scavenger Hunt
by Leila SalesItem #176: A fire drill. No, not an exercise in which occupants of a building practice leaving the building safely. A drill which safely emits a bit of fire, the approximate shape and size of a drill bit. Item #74: Enter a lecture class in street clothes. Receive loud phone call. Shout “I NEED TO GO, THE CITY NEEDS ME!” Remove street clothes to reveal superhero apparel. Run out for the good of the land. Item #293: Hypnotizing a chicken seems easy, but if the Wikipedia article on the practice is to be believed, debate on the optimal method is heated. Do some trials on a real chicken and submit a report . . . for science of course. Item #234: A walking, working, people-powered but preferably wind-powered Strandbeest. Item #188: Fattest cat. Points per pound. The University of Chicago’s annual Scavenger Hunt (or “Scav”) is one of the most storied college traditions in America. Every year, teams of hundreds of competitors scramble over four days to complete roughly 350 challenges. The tasks range from moments of silliness to 1,000-mile road trips, and they call on participants to fully embrace the absurd. For students it is a rite of passage, and for the surrounding community it is a chance to glimpse the lighter side of a notoriously serious university. We Made Uranium! shares the stories behind Scav, told by participants and judges from the hunt’s more than thirty-year history. The twenty-three essays range from the shockingly successful (a genuine, if minuscule, nuclear reaction created in a dorm room) to the endearing failures (it’s hard to build a carwash for a train), and all the chicken hypnotisms and permanent tattoos in between. Taken together, they show how a scavenger hunt once meant for blowing off steam before finals has grown into one of the most outrageous annual traditions at any university. The tales told here are absurd, uplifting, hilarious, and thought-provoking—and they are all one hundred percent true.