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Blandings: (Episode 1) (Blandings #1)
by P. G. WodehouseEPISODE 1 IN A MAJOR BBC DRAMA STARRING TIMOTHY SPALL, DAVID WALLIAMS AND JENNIFER SAUNDERS Clarence has to get his pig eating again or lose the fat-pig prize to his arch nemesis.Lord Clarence Emsworth’s pride and joy, the prize-winning pig Empress of Blandings refuses to eat when Cyril the pig-man is jailed by Clarence’s conniving rival Sir Gregory Parsloe-Parsloe. With the prize’s weigh-in only two-weeks away, Clarence and his gambling, spendthrift son Freddie are desperate to get the Empress to eat. Meanwhile, Clarence’s sister Connie attempts to thwart her niece Angela’s love affair with ex-cowboy Jimmy and instead find her a more eminent match in the smarmy Heacham – Sir Gregory’s nephew!'Sublime comic genius' Ben Elton'You don't analyse such sunlit perfection, you just bask in its warmth and splendour.'Stephen Fry'The funniest writer ever to put words to paper.'Hugh Laurie'P.G. Wodehouse remains the greatest chronicler of a certain kind of Englishness, that no one else has ever captured quite so sharply, or with quite as much wit and affection.'Julian Fellowes
Blandings: (Episode 4) (Blandings #4)
by P. G. WodehouseEPISODE 4 IN A MAJOR BBC DRAMA STARRING TIMOTHY SPALL, DAVID WALLIAMS AND JENNIFER SAUNDERS Baxter returns as summer tutor for Clarence’s grandson George and plans to weasel his way back into permanent employment.Blandings is threatened by the return of tyrannical secretary Baxter, hired by Connie to put an end to all tom-foolery. This is a tragedy for Clarence and he finds an unusual ally in his grandson George, who had been happily rampaging through the grounds with an air rifle. It is not long before there is an outbreak of shooting and wounding. Meanwhile, Freddie is back to ask Clarence to clear his debts, this time pursued by East-End gangsters and a beguiling dancer who takes a fancy to Beach.‘Sublime comic genius’Ben Elton‘You don't analyse such sunlit perfection, you just bask in its warmth and splendour.’Stephen Fry‘The funniest writer ever to put words to paper.’Hugh Laurie‘P.G. Wodehouse remains the greatest chronicler of a certain kind of Englishness, that no one else has ever captured quite so sharply, or with quite as much wit and affection.’Julian Fellowes
Blandings Castle and Elsewhere: (Blandings Castle) (Blandings Castle #2)
by P.G. WodehouseDive into this collection of laugh-out-loud funny short stories from the perennial comic P. G. Wodehouse.Meet Clarence, the absent-minded ninth Earl of Emsworth, whose beloved pig the Empress of Blandings is in the running for her first prize in the Fat Pigs Class at the Shropshire Agricultural Show. Revel in the delicious feud between Head Gardener McAllister and the terrifying Lady Constance, which can only be solved by a delightfully rebellious little girl from London. And skipping an ocean and a continent, indulge in unputdownable stories of excess from the monstrous Golden Age of Hollywood, specially selected by Wodehouse himself.'P. G. Wodehouse is the funniest person that has ever written words' Greg James'An incomparable and timeless genius' Kate Mosse
Blanksy the Street Cat
by Gavin PuckettHello there, meow, and how do you do?It's a joy to be sharing my story with you.It's all about friendship, fine music and art,And a busker named Pete . . .When Blanksy the cat discovers a talent for painting murals he uses it to draw bigger and bigger crowds to help his friend Pete the busker become rich. But will money really make Pete happy?A hilarious and heart-warming story with fabulous illustrations by award-winning illustrator Allen Fatimaharan.
Blart 2: The Boy Who Was Wanted Dead Or Alive - Or Both
by Dominic Barker'Inventive, charming and very funny' The ObserverJust as Blart is settling down to enjoy his teenage years on a fabulous pig farm with the proceeds from saving the world, Capablanca returns - with bad news. A terrible oversight in his original world-saving research has led to accusations of no less than collusion with evil Zoltab himself. And now he is a wanted man - and so, by assocation, is BlartTo prove their innocence or else be hounded to the four corners of the earth by a bloodthirsty army, they must locate their comrades from the original quest. Together they may stand a chance of proving that Capablanca's was an innocent mistake, by finding the answer to a great mystery - what exactly did they do with Zoltab? And how could they be so careless as to forget...And so begins another hilarious and unforgettable adventure (with pigs) and a brilliant cast of characters including newcomers Uther Slywort the merchant and sociopathic Baron Killbride.
Blart 3: The boy who set sail on a questionable quest
by Dominic BarkerPrincess Lois has been kidnapped by Anatoly the Handsome, who wants to marry her. Cue 'damsel in distress' to be rescued by none other than our own heroic Blart. He sets out on the good ship The Golden Pig with Olaf the innocent - who believes what everyone says all the time - and Kupverstich the Strange - an explorer-come-scientist whose ingenious explanations for the natural world have one thing in common: they're all wrong. They must battle cut-throat pirates, a sixteen-tentacled octopus, escape the suffocating bureaucracy of Triplicat, where they are briefly marooned, not to mention evade the Guild of Assassins, who have a contract to kill Blart, in their selfless (well, almost) bid to rescue poor Lois. But will they make it in time?
Blast From the Past (Allie Finkle's Rules for Girls #6)
by Meg CabotBlast From the Past is the final book in Meg Cabot's hilarious series for younger readers, Allie Finkle's Rules for Girls.Allie is looking forward to her class field trip - even if it's only to a historic one-room schoolhouse. Riding on a bus is something Allie usually misses out on, living so close to school, and some of her friends are dressing-up in old-timey costumes. But then Mrs. Hunter announces that every student in Room 209 has been assigned a 'buddy' for the day - from Allie's old fourth grade class at Pine Heights Elementary - and her buddy just happens to be her ex-best friend Mary Kay, who betrayed Allie right before she moved! And, as if things aren't bad enough, with renovations going on at Allie's house - there's a hole in the wall that her kitten, Mewsie, keeps disappearing into. What if Mewsie gets trapped inside the wall forever? With her past catching up with her, it looks like this is one trip Allie's going to need to write some major rules for.
Blast from the Past
by Cathy Hopkins‘Cathy’s warmth and gentle humour shine through – a really enjoyable read.’ Judy Leigh, author of A Grand Old Time ‘Funny and feelgood’ Good Housekeeping
Bleak Expectations
by Mark EvansBased on the beloved Radio 4 series, BLEAK EXPECTATIONS recounts the remarkable adventures of young Pip Bin as he tries to make his way in a world made all horrible by the machinations of his cruel guardian, Mr Gently Benevolent. Grim circumstances, mistaken identities, nightmarish court-cases, ridiculous names, convenient coincidences to resolve plot problems, over-sentimental death scenes and lots and lots of adjectives: Bleak Expectations is a novel like Charles Dickens might have written after far too much gin.
Bleak House: In Four Volumes, Volume 1... (Macmillan Collector's Library)
by Charles DickensBleak House is not only a love story and a tightly plotted murder mystery, but also a condemnation of the corruption at the heart of English society. Part of the Macmillan Collector’s Library; a series of stunning, clothbound, pocket-sized classics with gold foiled edges and ribbon markers. These beautiful books make perfect gifts or a treat for any book lover. This edition has an afterword by David Stuart Davies and original illustrations by H. K. Browne.The inheritance case of Jarndyce and Jarndyce has been going on for generations involving myriad characters from all walks of life. There’s Esther Summerson, Dickens' feisty heroine; Sir Leicester and Lady Dedlock, cocooned in their stately home in Lincolnshire; and Jo, the penniless crossing sweeper. We are drawn in and fascinated by the complex relationships. Indeed in none of Charles Dickens’ other novels is the canvas broader, the sweep more inclusive, the linguistic texture richer and the gallery of comic grotesques more extraordinary.
Bleaker House: Chasing My Novel to the End of the World
by Nell Stevens'Perfect' Lena Dunham 'This year's literary sensation' Evening StandardHow far would you travel to become a writer?8000 miles from home1085 calories a day3 months to write the novel that would make her nameAt least that was the plan. But when Nell Stevens travelled to Bleaker Island in the Falklands (official population: two) she didn’t count on the isolation getting to her . . . Hilarious and heartbreaking, this is a book about loneliness and creativity. It is about discovering who you are when there’s no one else around. And it’s about what to do when a plan doesn’t work: ultimately Nell may have failed to write a novel, but she succeeded in becoming a writer.
Blessed: The Breakout Year of Rampaging Roy Slaven
by John DoyleWho is Rampaging Roy Slaven? An Australian icon, a raconteur, an athlete of unsurpassable - and some may say improbable - sporting feats. Whether it was riding Rooting King to another Melbourne Cup victory, commentating the Olympics or hobnobbing with the country's upper crust, Rampaging Roy Slaven has lived an extraordinary life.But even some of the greatest men come from humble beginnings. Before he shot to fame as Australia's most talented sportsman, he was just another kid in Lithgow, trying to avoid Brother Connell's strap and garner the attention of Susan Morgan from the local Catholic girls school.Blessed follows one year in the life of the boy who would become Rampaging Roy Slaven, a boy who, even at the age of fifteen, knew he was destined for greatness but had to get through high school first.
The Blessing: "pursuit Of Love", "love In A Cold Climate", "the Blessing" And "don't Tell Alfred" (Dales Ser.)
by Nancy MitfordThe Blessing by Nancy Mitford It isn't just Nanny who finds it difficult in France when Grace and her young son Sigi are finally able to join her dashing aristocratic husband Charles-Edouard after the war. For Grace is out of her depth among the fashionably dressed and immaculately coiffured French women, and shocked by their relentless gossiping and bedhopping. When she discovers her husband's tendency to lust after every pretty girl he sees, it looks like trouble. And things get even more complicated when little Sigi steps in . . .The Blessing is a hilarious tale of love, fidelity, and the English abroad, tailored as brilliantly as a New Look Dior suit.'Entirely original, inimitable and irresistible' Spectator'Deliciously funny' Evelyn Waugh'Utter, utter bliss' Daily Mail
Blighty: The Quest for Britishness, Britain, Britons, Britishness and The British
by Steve Lowe Alan McArthurBritishness: what does it really mean? Is it all a big con? Having skewered modern British life in the bestselling Is It Just Me or is Everything Shit?, Steve Lowe and Alan MacArthur set out to uncover the deep dark truth about Britain - its history, its myths and its people.Over the course of a year they watch Dorset Morris men dancing on a chalk-giant's thirty-foot-long erection, endure the Last Night of the Proms and search for a couple of pissed dragons under a hill in Wales. They ask Prince William what it means to be British, witness Scotland rising again (a bit), encounter terrifying Europhobe ladies in Surrey, and lose the will to live in Gibraltar. They also meet a lot of druids.Hilarious, timely and provocative, Blighty offers a brilliant, alternative vision of the island in the Atlantic that some people call Britain.
Blind Faith
by Ben EltonImagine a world where everyone knows everything about everybody. Where 'sharing' is valued above all, and privacy is considered a dangerous perversion.Trafford wouldn't call himself a rebel, but he's daring to be different, to stand out from the crowd. In his own small ways, he wants to push against the system. But in this world, uniformity is everything. And even tiny defiances won't go unnoticed.Ben Elton's dark, savagely comic novel imagines a post-apocalyptic society where religious intolerance combines with a sex-obsessed, utterly egocentric culture. In this world, nakedness is modesty, independent thought subversive, and ignorance is wisdom. A chilling vision of what's to come? Or something rather closer to home?
Blink and You Die: Feed The Fear; Pick Your Poison; Blink And You Die (Ruby Redfort #6)
by Lauren ChildSay goodbye to Ruby Redfort: every smart kid’s smart kid. The mind-blowing conclusion to the thrilling series by award-winning author Lauren Child.
Bliss
by Hilary FieldsNothing says "oops" like your naked ass skidding in the salmon mousse...A year ago, pastry chef Serafina Wilde's seemingly perfect life fell to pieces. So now, when her eccentric Aunt Pauline calls from Santa Fe needing her help, Sera jumps at the chance to start over. Pauline even offers to let her take over the family business, "Pauline's House of Passion," and turn it into a bakery... provided she agrees not to ditch the "back room." Cupcakes and sex toys don't exactly mix but Sera is willing to try, and what she finds in the beautiful City Different is the best life has to offer --- if she has the courage to go for it.
Bliss (The Bliss Bakery Trilogy #1)
by Kathryn Littlewood“It was the summer Rosemary Bliss turned ten that she saw her mother fold a lightning bolt into a bowl of batter and learned – beyond the shadow of a doubt – that her parents made magic in the Bliss Bakery.” – A delicious new novel for girls, the first in a trilogy.
The Blitzed Brits
by Terry Deary Kate SheppardLearn all about the BLITZED BRITS, with all the nasty bits left in. Find out what really happened in Dad's Army, see how to make a rude noise with a gas mask and Learn why the Brits ate chicken-fruit, sinkers and nutty! Includes a grisly quiz to test your knowledge. These bestselling titles are sure to be a huge hit with yet another generation of Terry Deary fans.
The Blitzed Brits (PDF)
by Terry Deary Kate SheppardLearn all about the BLITZED BRITS, with all the nasty bits left in. Find out what really happened in Dad's Army, see how to make a rude noise with a gas mask and Learn why the Brits ate chicken-fruit, sinkers and nutty! Includes a grisly quiz to test your knowledge. These bestselling titles are sure to be a huge hit with yet another generation of Terry Deary fans.
The Bloater: The brilliantly original rediscovered classic comedy of manners
by Rosemary TonksWITH A NEW INTRODUCTION BY STEWART LEE'Should The Bloater be republished? Oh God, absolutely, it's fantastic' Stewart LeeMin works at the BBC as an audio engineer, where she is struggling to replicate the sound of a heartbeat. At home, other matters of the heart are making a mockery of life as Min knows it.Min has found herself the object of her lodger's affection. An internationally renowned opera singer she's nicknamed 'The Bloater', Min is disgusted and attracted to him in equal measure. But with a husband so invisible that she accidentally turns the lights off on him even when he's still in the room, Min can't quite bring herself to silence The Bloater's overtures. Vain, materialistic, yet surprisingly tender, The Bloater is a sparklingly ironic comedy of manners for all flirtatious gossips who love to hate and hate to love.PRAISE FOR THE BLOATER'A wonderfully unromantic romantic comedy' Daily Telegraph'Uncommonly good' Guardian 'It is the perfect aperitif, makes you feel warm and careless and much, much happier' The Times
The Blockbuster Baddiel Collection: The Parent Agency; The Person Controller; Animalcolm
by David BaddielThree hilarious novels of heart, humour and wishes gone wrong, from the new star of children’s books - by award-winning and bestselling author, David Baddiel. Illustrated by Jim Field - winner of the Roald Dahl Funny Prize.
The Blockbuster Baddiel Collection, Volume 2: Birthday Boy, Head Kid, The Taylor Turbochaser
by David BaddielThree hilarious novels of heart, humour and wishes gone wrong, from the new star of children’s books – by award-winning and bestselling author, David Baddiel.
Blonde Bombshell: A Heartwarming Tale Of Armageddon
by Tom HoltA heart-warming tale of Armageddon from one of the funniest, most original voices in comic fiction today . . .The third planet out from the star was blue, with green splodges. Dirt.Oh, the bomb thought. And then its courage, determination and nobility-of-spirit subroutines cut in, overriding everything else, adrenalizing its command functions and bypassing its cyberphrenetic nodes. Here goes, said the bomb to itself. Calibrate navigational pod. Engage primary thrusters. Ready auxiliary drive. It knew, in that moment, that its own doom was near; because it was giving itself orders, and it wasn't putting in any 'the's. That was what you did, apparently, when the moment came. You could also turn on a flashing red beacon and a siren, but mercifully these were optional.Oh #/$+! thought the bomb, and surged on towards Dirt like an avenging angel.