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How Do You Do?
by Gianna Marino Larissa TheuleWater Buffalo and Crane's field is dry, empty, and hot--so hot that they can barely think of anything else. Every day is the same . . . Until one day, they hear something new. "How do you do?"When Goat dances into their lives, Water Buffalo and Crane can't help but join in. Suddenly their field doesn't seem dry, empty, and hot at all. Even after Goat dances away, their world is no longer so small.This beautiful story about widening your horizons and making new friends, brought to life with stunning illustrations by Gianna Marino, shows how all it takes is one special friend to change your world.
How Do You Like Me Now?: the book everyone's talking about
by Holly BourneTHE TIMES BESTSELLER'The most perceptive book I have ever read about the female interior' DOLLY ALDERTON'Identifiable, heart-breaking and wickedly funny. I'd say this is one of my favourite books of the year' GIOVANNA FLETCHER'Bourne holds a mirror up to contemporary aspiration' SUNDAY TIMES*****Everyone wants to be Tori Bailey.A straight-talking, bestselling author, she's inspired millions of women around the world with her self-help memoir and uplifting posts online. What's more, her perfect relationship with her long-term boyfriend is the envy of all their friends.But Tori isn't being honest.While everyone around her is getting engaged and having babies, Tori's boyfriend will barely look at her, let alone talk about marriage. And when her best friend Dee unexpectedly falls in love, suddenly Tori's in danger of being left behind.Tori's built a career out of telling women how to live their best life, but is she brave enough to admit it's not what she wants?*****The debut adult novel by bestselling author Holly Bourne is a blisteringly funny, honest and moving exploration of love, friendship and navigating the emotional rollercoaster of your thirties.Everyone is raving about this book!'It'll resonate with anyone trying to convince themselves that sticking it out is better than being alone.' EMERALD STREET'Relatable for any woman navigating emotional time bombs' RED'It speaks so many truths about being a woman in your thirties; friendships, love and what a fickle beast social media can be. ' CLEMMIE HOOPER'Hilarious and painfully true' GRAZIA'Sure to resonate with anyone navigating the emotional minefield of their thirties' RED ONLINE'Funny, real and heartbreaking. I haven't been this obsessed with a book in years.' LUCY VINE'Injected with such reality it can't help but be hilarious' TIMES'A very funny novel that lives up to its hype' THE SUNDAY TELEGRAPH
How Do You Spell G-E-E-K?
by Julie Anne PetersBest friends Kimberly and Ann both have a dream to make it to the National Spelling Bee in Washington, D.C. Eighth grade is the last year they can qualify, so they are practicing day and night. But when Ann is assigned to sponsor new student Lurlene Brueggemeyer, who turns out to be an amazing speller, suddenly her relationship with Kimberly and her chances of winning the competition are put to the test. If the three girls end up competing against each other for the prize, that can spell only one thing... t-r-o-u-b-l-e.
How Hard Can It Be?: The World According to Clarkson Volume 4 (The World According to Clarkson #4)
by Jeremy ClarksonHow Hard Can it Be? is the fourth hilarious volume in Jeremy Clarkson's The World According to Clarkson series.How hard can it be...To build a power station without upsetting the eco-mentalists? To seek world domination if you've been hit the ugly stick? For the Met Office to get yesterday's weather right?In volume four of The World According to Clarkson, Jeremy Clarkson pours scorn on the nonsensical, the dumb, the idiotic and the plain foolish in his continuing quest to discover where exactly we've all gone wrong.Along the way he ponders:• Whether conquering France might solve the immigration problem• What happened when you ignore proper warning labels • What would happen if we turned the internet offOften controversial, frequently scathing but always funnier than James May, Jeremy Clarkson shows us how we could so easily make the world a better place. Praise for Jeremy Clarkson:'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time OutNumber-one bestseller Jeremy Clarkson writes on cars, current affairs and anything else that annoys him in his sharp and funny collections. Born To Be Riled, Clarkson On Cars, Don't Stop Me Now, Driven To Distraction, Round the Bend, Motorworld, and I Know You Got Soul are also available as Penguin paperbacks; the Penguin App iClarkson: The Book of Cars can be downloaded on the App Store.Jeremy Clarkson because his writing career on the Rotherham Advertiser. Since then he has written for the Sun and the Sunday Times. Today he is the tallest person working in British television, and is the presenter of the hugely popular Top Gear.
How Hard Can It Be?: A Novel
by Allison PearsonKate Reddy is counting down the days until she is fifty, but not in a good way.
How Harry Riddles Got Nearly Almost Famous (Shoutykid #3)
by Simon MayleThe funniest kid in fiction is back and he’s got a lot to SHOUT about!
How Harry Riddles Made a Mega Amount of Money (Shoutykid #5)
by Simon MayleThe loudest kid in fiction is back brand-new story. And he’s still got a lot to shout about!
How Harry Riddles Mega-Massively Broke the School (Shoutykid #2)
by Simon MayleThe funniest kid in fiction is back!
How Harry Riddles Totally Went Wild (Shoutykid #4)
by Simon MayleThe funniest kid in fiction aka SHOUTYKID is back and has more to shout about than ever!
How I Became a Famous Novelist
by Steve HelyIn this blistering evisceration of celebrity culture and literary fame, a roguish loser sets out to write the best-sellingest best seller of all time. When he actually pulls it off, he winds up tearing like a tornado across America's cultural landscape.What Pete Tarslaw wants is simple enough:FAME-Realistic amount. Enough to open new avenues of sexual opportunity. Personal assistant to read mail, grocery shop, etc.FINANCIAL COMFORT-Never have a job again. Retire. Spend rest of life lying around, pursuing hobbies (boating? skeet shooting?)STATELY HOME BY THE OCEAN (OR SCENIC LAKE)-Spacious library, bay windows, wet bar. HD TV, discreetly placed. Comfortable couch.HUMILIATE EX-GIRLFRIEND AT HER WEDDINGThis is the story of how he succeeds in getting it all, and what it costs him in the end.Narrated by an unlikely literary legend, How I Became a Famous Novelist pinballs from the postcollege slums of Boston to the fear-drenched halls of Manhattan's publishing houses, from the gloomy purity of Montana's foremost writing workshop to the hedonistic hotel bars of the Sunset Strip. This is the horrifying, hilarious tale of how Pete Tarslaw's "pile of garbage," called The Tornado Ashes Club, became the most talked about, blogged about, read, admired, and reviled novel in America. It will change everything you think you know-about literature, appearance, truth, beauty, and those people who still care about books.It is the winner of the 2010 Thurber Prize for American Humor.
How I Escaped My Certain Fate
by Stewart LeeExperience how it feels to be the subject of a blasphemy prosecution! Find out why 'wool' is a funny word! See how jokes work, their inner mechanisms revealed, before your astonished face! In 2001, after over a decade in the business, Stewart Lee quit stand-up, disillusioned and drained, and went off to direct a loss-making musical, Jerry Springer: The Opera. Nine years later, How I Escaped My Certain Fate details his return to live performance, and the journey that took him from an early retirement to his position as the most critically acclaimed stand-up in Britain, the winner of BAFTAs and British Comedy Awards, and the affirmation of being rated the 41st best stand up ever. Here is Stewart Lee's own account of his remarkable comeback, told through transcripts of the three legendary full-length shows that sealed his reputation. Astonishingly frank and detailed in-depth notes reveal the inspiration and inner workings of his act. With unprecedented access to a leading comedian's creative process, this book tells us just what it was like to write these shows, develop the performance and take them on tour. How I Escaped My Certain Fate is everything we have come to expect from Stewart Lee: fiercely intelligent, unsparingly honest and very, very funny.
How I Won A Nobel Prize
by Julius Taranto‘A stunning new talent, announcing itself fully formed’ – Jonathan Lethem, author of Motherless BrooklynJulius Taranto’s wickedly satirical and refreshingly irreverent debut novel, a young physicist finds herself exiled to an island research institute that gives safe harbour to ‘cancelled’ artists and academicsHelen, a graduate student on a quest to save the planet, is one of the best minds of her generation. But when her irreplaceable advisor’s student sex scandal is exposed, she must choose whether to give up on her work or accompany him to RIP, a research institute which grants safe harbour to the disgraced and the deplorable.As Helen settles into life at the institute alongside her partner Hew, she develops a crush on an older novelist, while he is drawn to an increasingly violent protest movement. As the rift between them deepens, they both face major – and potentially world-altering – choices.Hilarious, provocative and thought-provoking, How I Won A Nobel Prize approaches our moral confusion in a genuine and fresh way, examining the price we’re willing to pay for progress and what it means, in the end, to be a good person.
How It Works: The Mum (Ladybirds for Grown-Ups)
by Jason Hazeley Joel MorrisThe PERFECT GIFT for Mum would be to let her take the day off while you do everything for her. Why not get her this book instead?----------------This is mum.A mum has two very important jobs to do. One is to look after her children.The other is to do everything else as well. ----------------Now Lyndsay's little boy is at nursery, she is looking for a job.At this interview, the lady asks Lyndsay all sorts of questions, which Lyndsay has trouble answering because she has the Octonauts theme going round her head.Lyndsay hopes she is not singing out loud.----------------This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist
How it Works: The perfect gift for Father's Day (Ladybirds for Grown-Ups)
by Jason Hazeley Joel MorrisThe PERFECT GIFT for that superhero, saint, figure of worship or, if none of those apply your plain dear old dad. 'Shawn has set up his own firework display in the garden."Those big displays are rubbish," he tells his son. "You can't see a thing."When Shawn's son has seen the firework, they will go back indoors. Fireworks are more expensive than Shawn expected.'_____________'"What does a hippopotamus eat, dad?' asks Philip'Children who ask for stuff in the gift shop,' says his dad.Being a dad is brilliant.'"This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist
How it Works: The Student (Ladybirds for Grown-Ups)
by Jason Hazeley Joel MorrisThe PERFECT GIFT for anyone yet to know the meaning of the words 'hard work'.__________________________________This is a student.He is leaving home for the first time.By the time he graduates, he will be grown-up: exhausted, hideously in debt and unable to imagine going to bed sober.__________________________________Reynard has brought everything he needs for his first year.He unpacks his fancy-dress costumes, his four-way extension leads, his pair of pants and all his didgeridoos.By doing front, back, inside-out front, inside-out back, and using Febreze and Imodium, he plans to make his pants last until half term.__________________________________This delightful book is part of a series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. Other titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series: How it Works: The CatHow it Works: The DogHow it Works: The Grandparent The Ladybird Book of the MeetingThe Ladybird Book of Red TapeThe Ladybird Book of the People Next DoorThe Ladybird Book of the SickieThe Ladybird Book of the Zombie ApocalypseHow it Works: The HusbandHow it Works: The WifeHow it Works: The MumHow it Works: The DadThe Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life CrisisThe Ladybird Book of the HangoverThe Ladybird Book of MindfulnessThe Ladybird Book of the ShedThe Ladybird Book of DatingThe Ladybird Book of the Hipster
How it Works: The perfect gift for Father's Day (Ladybirds for Grown-Ups)
by Jason Hazeley Joel MorrisThe PERFECT GIFT for that special grandparent you know so well and love with all your heart but whom you haven't got a clue what to get her for a present. Not a bloody clue._______________________________________Grandparents are versatile. They are babysitters, weather forecasters, mother's helpers, sweet collectors, child-minders, knitwear suppliers, au pairs, curators of G-plan furniture and providers of day-care for the under twelves.Retirement is an exhausting job._______________________________________Grandparents spend a lot of time in the garden making everything tidy and pretty, so they have something tidy and pretty to look at while they are doing the gardening_______________________________________This delightful book is part of the series of Ladybird books specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. Other titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series: How it Works: The StudentHow it Works: The CatHow it Works: The DogThe Ladybird Book of the MeetingThe Ladybird Book of Red TapeThe Ladybird Book of the People Next DoorThe Ladybird Book of the SickieThe Ladybird Book of the Zombie ApocalypseHow it Works: The HusbandHow it Works: The WifeHow it Works: The MumHow it Works: The DadThe Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life CrisisThe Ladybird Book of the HangoverThe Ladybird Book of MindfulnessThe Ladybird Book of the ShedThe Ladybird Book of DatingThe Ladybird Book of the Hipster
How it Works: The Cat (Ladybirds for Grown-Ups)
by Jason Hazeley Joel MorrisTHE PERFECT GIFT for those who value elegance, affection, cold hearted killing and expensive, clawed to death furniture. __________________________________'A pet can be great fun.Cats are warm and fluffy, like cuddly toys, and their owners give them lots of time and affection. And, just like cuddly toys, they do very little in return.'__________________________________'Over thousands of years, we have developed a special relationship with the animals that share our homes.Dogs have evolved to serve many sorts of human needs.And humans have evolved to serve many sorts of cat food.'__________________________________This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' StylistOther new titles for Autumn 2017:How it Works: The BrotherHow it Works: The SisterThe Ladybird Book of the ExThe Ladybird Book of the NerdThe Ladybird Book of the New YouThe Ladybird Book of BallsThe Ladybird Book of the Big Night OutThe Ladybird Book of the Quiet Night InPeople at Work: The Rock Star Previous titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series: How it Works: The HusbandHow it Works: The WifeHow it Works: The MumHow it Works: The DadThe Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life CrisisThe Ladybird Book of the HangoverThe Ladybird Book of MindfulnessThe Ladybird Book of the ShedThe Ladybird Book of DatingThe Ladybird Book of the HipsterHow it Works: The StudentHow it Works: The CatHow it Works: The DogHow it Works: The Grandparent The Ladybird Book of Red TapeThe Ladybird Book of the People Next DoorThe Ladybird Book of the SickieThe Ladybird Book of the Zombie ApocalypseThe Ladybird Book of the Do-Gooder
How it Works: The Baby (Ladybirds for Grown-Ups)
by Jason Hazeley Joel MorrisTHE PERFECT GIFT for those deluded fools who are expecting a little miracle . . . Allyce is taking Rainbeau to a local mother-and-baby group. It takes her forty five minutes to pack the bag with the change mat, nappies, wipes, nappy bags Sudocrem, milk, muslins, teething powders, rice cakes, bibs, Calpol, spare clothes, dummy, first aid kit, Mr Bun-Bun and hand gel. The playgroup is two minutes away. _____________ The hospital follows Jasmine's birth plan so she can have a drug-free delivery. 'I am glad it was all natural,' shouts Jasmine over the hissing and beeping and clanking and the hum of the lights. This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist
How it Works: The Brother (Ladybirds for Grown-Ups)
by Jason Hazeley Joel MorrisTHE PERFECT GIFT for anyone that has ever had a brother, is a brother or has ever thought about murdering one.Aisling has a butterfly book.Ryan has a book about fish.Ryan has decided this is not fair for a reason that will become no clearer over the next six days of his going on and on about it. _____________Music-making is easy when you are brothers like these Everly Brothers.Phil knows what Don is thinking.Don knows what Phil is thinking.Don is thinking, 'I hate you'. Phil is also thinking, 'I hate you'. Two brothers in perfect harmony.This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist
How it Works: The Sister (Ladybirds for Grown-Ups)
by Jason Hazeley Joel MorrisThe PERFECT GIFT for anyone who has been having the same argument since 2001 or who no longer has ANY of their own clothes left, i.e. someone who is, or has ever been a sister.'This is a sister.Wherever you go, whatever you do, a sister will always be there.Which can get really annoying.'_____________'Over the years, Gareth has bought his sister Kelly every possible birthday present he can find related to the film he remembers her enjoying in 1989.Kelly has had to come to terms with the idea that though they spent half their lives together, Gareth was not really paying attention for most of it.'This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.'Hilarious' Stylist
How it Works: The Dog (Ladybirds for Grown-Ups)
by Joel Morris Jason HazeleyTHE PERFECT GIFT for people who value friendship, uncompromising love, dribble, chewed up furniture and miles and miles of walking to go to the toilet.__________________________________'The dog is often called a man's best friend.Dogs are reliable, loyal and loving, like all best friends.They also smell like a bobble hat full of corned beef that has been left on a parcel shelf of a locked car for a fortnight during a hot spell. But there are some things you don't mention to a best friend.'__________________________________'Once a week, Patsy vacuums up all the dog hair in her house.When she has finished the sofa she will do the carpets, inside the oven, in the powder tray of the washing machine, between the pages of the book she is reading, and behind the wallpaper.'How did it get there?' laughs Patsy while coughing up a hair-ball.'__________________________________This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' StylistOther new titles for Autumn 2017: How it Works: The Brother How it Works: The Sister The Ladybird Book of the Ex The Ladybird Book of the Nerd The Ladybird Book of the New You The Ladybird Book of Balls The Ladybird Book of the Big Night Out The Ladybird Book of the Quiet Night In People at Work: The Rock Star Previous titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series: How it Works: The Husband How it Works: The Wife How it Works: The Mum How it Works: The Dad The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis The Ladybird Book of the Hangover The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness The Ladybird Book of the Shed The Ladybird Book of Dating The Ladybird Book of the Hipster How it Works: The Student How it Works: The Cat How it Works: The Dog How it Works: The Grandparent The Ladybird Book of Red Tape The Ladybird Book of the People Next Door The Ladybird Book of the Sickie The Ladybird Book of the Zombie Apocalypse The Ladybird Book of the Do-Gooder
How it Works: The Wife (Ladybirds for Grown-Ups #2)
by Joel Morris Jason HazeleyThe PERFECT GIFT for your long-suffering wife or prospective bride. Or, for any fool of a husband or seriously deluded groom-to-be who hasn't yet understood what he's signed up for.--------------------Tina is getting married. It is the best day of her life.Next year, she will claim that becoming a mother was the best day of her life, but only because she was on some very strong drugs.Neither is true. The best day of her life was on her eighth birthday, when she got a yellow bike. --------------------The wife likes surprises.Her favourite sort is a surprise birthday party.It is the husband's job to organise this surprise for her, and to keep her informed of every detail about it.--------------------This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist
How it Works: The perfect gift for Father's Day (Ladybirds for Grown-Ups #1)
by Joel Morris Jason HazeleyThe handy guide to the HUSBAND makes the PERFECT GIFT for any long-suffering wife or prospective bride to give to their beloved husband.____________________'The wife likes to read romantic fiction. The books are a fantasy and an escape for her. The husband does not waste his time on silly stories. He likes to read books about things that really happened and tales of real men.Reading these will be invaluable if he ever has to land on the moon or be in the S.A.S. or help manage the England football team.'____________________'The husband likes to do simple repairs, like changing the washer on a tap.Afterwards he likes to talk at great length about what a struggle it was, and will want to be treated as if he has invented a machine that turns farts into gold.' ____________________This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist
How It Works Out: The multiverse queer love story of the summer
by Myriam LacroixWhat if you could rewrite your relationship, again and again, until it works out?‘A stunner of a debut’ NANA KWAME ADJEI-BRENYAH‘A cause for celebration’ GEORGE SAUNDERS‘Exhilaratingly good’ KELLY LINKWhen Myriam and Allison fall in love at a show in a run-down punk house, their relationship begins to unfold through a series of hypotheticals:What if they became mothers by finding a baby in an alley?What if the only cure for Myriam’s depression was Allison’s flesh?How much darker - or sexier - would their dynamic be if one were a power-hungry CEO, and the other her lowly employee?From the fantasies of early romance to the slow encroaching of heartbreak, each reality builds to complete a brilliant and painfully funny portrait of love’s many promises and perils.WHAT READERS ARE SAYING:'Wow. I will be reading everything Myriam Lacroix puts out''Everything Everywhere All at Once for U-haul lesbians... I'm diving in again''I haven't read anything like it before... Fantastic debut'