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The Atrocity Exhibition
by null J. G. BallardFirst published in 1970 and widely regarded as a prophetic masterpiece, this is a groundbreaking experimental novel by the acclaimed author of ‘Crash’ and ‘Super-Cannes’. The irrational, all-pervading violence of the modern world is the subject of this extraordinary tour de force. The central character’s dreams are haunted by images of John F. Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe, dead astronauts and car-crash victims as he traverses the screaming wastes of nervous breakdown. Seeking his sanity, he casts himself in a number of roles: H-bomber pilot, presidential assassin, crash victim, psychopath. Finally, through the black, perverse magic of violence he transcends his psychic turmoil to find the key to a bizarre new sexuality. In this revised edition, Ballard has added extensive annotation that help to unlock many of the mysteries of one of the most prophetic, enigmatic and original works of the late twentieth century.
Attachments: Is there such a thing as love before first sight? The romantic comedy we all need to read in 2020
by Rainbow RowellA heartwarming and hilarious romantic comedy that will have you believing in the possibility of true love, online... During the day, Beth and Jennifer spend their work hours emailing each other, discussing in hilarious detail every aspect of their lives, from love troubles to family dramas. Except they have no idea that by night, Lincoln, a shy and lonely IT guy, spends his hours reading every exchange.At first their emails offer a welcome diversion to a very dull job, but the more Lincoln reads, the more he finds himself falling for one of them. By the time Lincoln realizes just how head-over-heels he really is, it's way too late to introduce himself. What would he say to her? 'Hi, I'm the guy who reads your e-mails - and also, I think I love you'.After a series of close encounters, Lincoln decides it's time to muster the courage to follow his heart, and find out whether there really is such a thing as love before first-sight.'Cracking, laugh-out-loud dialogue, characters that feel painfully real, and a sweet premise about love in the information age: if ATTACHMENTS were an e-mail, I'd be forwarding it to my entire list of contacts' Jodi Picoult, bestselling author of A Spark of Light
Attack and Revenge of the Giant Robot Chickens: 2 Books in 1 (Giant Robot Chickens #0)
by Alex McCallWhy did the chicken cross the road? TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! The city of Aberdeen has been reduced to a post-apocalyptic wasteland in the wake of invasion and giant robot chickens roam empty streets, seeking to peck out every last sign of human egg-sistence. Fighting for survival and desperate to save their family and friends, Jesse and Rayna must pluck up their courage and hatch a plan... Action, lasers, exploding eggs and chicken jokes aplenty--can a group of teenage friends really stop an army of giant robot chickens from achieving world domination? Read these two hilarious, pun-filled adventures from award-winning author Alex McCall and find out!
The Attack of the Alien Brain (Oliver Fibbs #1)
by Steve HartleyHi! I'm Oliver Tibbs (some people call me 'Oliver Fibbs') and everyone in my family is super-brilliant at something - chess, ballet, brain surgery and architecture - but I'm not brilliant at anything. Show and Tell (or as I call it: Pain and Torture Time) is my worst nightmare . . . I haven't got a black belt at karate or made a mega-powerful electro-magnet. All I'm good at is reading comics and eating pizza. But I'm fed up with being Dull and Boring, so I've been telling the class about my adventures as a Defender of Planet Earth - battling against the evil Alien Brain Drain who wants to take over the world! Everyone loved it except Miss Wilkins, who gave me a detention for telling fibs. Now my parents think I'm Going Bad. I keep telling them - THEY'RE NOT FIBS, THEY'RE STORIES!
Attack of the Demon Dinner Ladies (Baby Aliens)
by Pamela ButchartPart of the 'Children's Book Selection for Summer 2016' in The Express.Izzy and her friends have never liked school dinners. And they're getting worse. The dinner ladies are acting strangely (making up random rules, wearing hats, and cooking new food, even more horrible than usual). Lollipop man mentions there is a new head dinner lady and calls her "a bit of a legend" (in a bad way) and that she used to be here a long, long time ago and has returned. Izzy and friends wonder if she is the reason for the strange behaviour. They wonder why she has returned. They find out she was fired. They speculate as to why and decide she's a demon who's returned to do bad things. Because why wouldn't she be?
Attack of the Flickering Skeletons: More Terrible Old Games You’ve Probably Never Heard Of
by Stuart AshenWelcome to a world of games you never knew existed. You will probably wish you still didn’t.YouTube sensation Stuart Ashen is back with his second instalment of terrible old computer games you’ve probably never heard of... because what the world needs right now is to know exactly how bad Domain of the Undead for the Atari 8-bit computers was.Attack of the Flickering Skeletons is even bigger than the original Terrible Old Games You’ve Probably Never Heard Of – this second excavation of gaming’s buried past will not only unearth more appalling excuses for digital entertainment, but also feature guest contributors and several special interest chapters not based around single specific games. These are NOT the games you’ve heard of a million times in YouTube videos. This is a compilation of truly obscure and dreadful games. Dripping with wry humour and featuring the best, worst graphics from the games themselves, this book encapsulates the atrocities produced in the days of tight budgets and low quality controls. These are even more appalling games that leaked from the industry’s tear ducts, taken down from the dusty shelves of history by the man who has somehow made a living by sticking rubbish on a sofa and talking about it.
Attack of the Giant Baby!
by David LucasWatch out! A Giant Baby has been spotted in the kingdom! Summon the special advisors. Send out the knights in shining armour. Let loose the monster-size bear! Can anyone defeat this Giant Baby and bring peace back to the kingdom?A hilarious celebration of playtime and imagination, sure to entertain young and old alike. Featuring loveable characters, daring deeds and exciting adventures, this larger-than-life, laugh-out-loud picture book is perfect for igniting giant imaginations and destined to be a repeat read at bedtime.
Attack of the Giant Robot Chickens: 2 Books In 1 (Giant Robot Chickens #1)
by Alexander SmithWhy did the chicken cross the road? TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!! The city of Aberdeen is being terrorised by giant robot chickens who want to peck out every last sign of human resistance. The streets are empty, the adults have vanished - and those left behind are fighting for survival. Jesse and his friends are desperate to save their families and stop the feathered fiends. They hatch a master plan … but can a gang of kids REALLY defeat an army of angry robot chickens? A hilarious, weird and wonderful adventure from a cracking new author.
The Attack of the Robot Librarians (Tuchus & Topps Investigate #2)
by Sam Copeland Jenny PearsonIt's a new year at Little Strangehaven Primary but things are just as weird as last term . . .Who put laser-eyed robot librarians in charge of class discipline? What's with the new pedal-powered desks? And what does it all have to do with the mysterious goings-on in the cellar?Spy-detectives Tuchus and Topps reckon it's got to be something to do with Pamela Stranglebum and her sinister company, Minerva Industries. With the help of their Scottish gargoyle chum Gregor, can Lenny and Agatha uncover the truth before it's too late . . .?
Attend
by West CamelSHORTLISTED for The Polari First Book PrizeLONGLISTED for the Guardian‘s Not the Booker PrizeA beautifully written, darkly funny, mesmerisingly emotive and deliciously told debut novel with echoes of Armistead Maupin…‘From its opening gambit to its final line, Attend demands and rewards attention’ Foreword Reviews’With its blend of dark, gritty themes and gorgeous imagery, this is a book to make you believe there’s still magic in the world’ Heat Magazine‘I’ve fallen in love with this absolutely glorious, spell-binding tale’ LoveReadingAs the threads of their lives unravel … they find magic under their feet…When Sam falls in love with South London thug Derek, and Anne’s best friend Kathleen takes her own life, they discover they are linked not just by a world of drugs and revenge; they also share the friendship of the uncanny and enigmatic Deborah.Seamstress, sailor, story-teller and self-proclaimed centenarian immortal, Deborah slowly reveals to Anne and Sam her improbable, fantastical life, the mysterious world that lies beneath their feet and, ultimately, the solution to their crises.With echoes of Armistead Maupin and a hint of magic realism, Attend is a beautifully written, darkly funny, mesmerisingly emotive and deliciously told debut novel, rich in finely wrought characters that you will never forget.‘It’s a genuinely pleasurable experience to encounter something couched in such alert and transparent language as West Camel’s Attend … In three hundred finely judged pages, West Camel leaves the reader eager for more from his pen’ Barry Forshaw, CrimeTime‘Lyrical and intense, the spellbinding prose is full of carefully chosen words which create an emotive and flowing’ Crime Review‘Rich, lively and intelligent, Attend is a novel of mystery, morality and meaning, but so delicately sewn together, you never notice the seams…’ Rosie Goldsmith'There is such a joy to the language. West Camel is a truly gifted wordsmith, and a beautiful storyteller’ Louise Beech‘Skilfully weaves a tapestry of multi-layered threads … delicate, evocative prose tells an intriguing story with contemporary relevance, insight and compassion’ Live & Deadly‘A book of past and present, grief and tragedy, forgiveness and redemption, and hopes and dreams … a great debut novel’ Off-the-Shelf Books‘A singular and distinctive read … Within the city grime and gritty plotlines, glitters an arresting tale’ Books, Life and Everything‘Precision language and beautifully interwoven storytelling … I couldn’t put it down’ Liz Loves Books‘Filled with a magic that is unique and uplifting. Attend is adventurous, charming and utterly compelling’ Random Things through My Letterbox
Atticus Claw Goes Ashore (Atticus Claw: World's Greatest Cat Detective #4)
by Jennifer GrayAtticus is on beach tidying duty with the kittens when he finds a message in a bottle from Fishhook Frank. Fishhook is marooned on a desert island, but he promises Atticus treasure in exchange for his rescue! The treasure in question is the Casket of Desires, which contains a sleeping mermaid who has the power to grant any wish. But it is hidden in the deepest darkest part of the ocean, protected by the most hideous, fearsome sea-creatures known to pirate lore. Atticus sets out to rescue Fishhook Frank and find the Casket of Desires with his owners, the Cheddar family. But it's not all plain sailing. The pirate with the biggest beard-jumper in the nautical world - Captain Black Beard-Jumper - is also on the look out for the Casket and he'll curse anyone who gets in his way...
Atticus Claw Learns to Draw (Atticus Claw: World's Greatest Cat Detective #5)
by Jennifer GrayAtticus Claw Leans to Draw by Jennifer Gray is the latest in this popular series about master-criminal turned police-cat, Atticus Claw.Famous works of art are going missing. Atticus is on the case. The prime suspect is Ricardo Butteredsconi - Italian theme park entrepreneur and art connoisseur. Then Inspector Cheddar goes missing from the Tate Modern, and Atticus and his friends suspect Butteredsconi and his evil pet pig. In the scariest adventure of his nine lives, Atticus has to act fast if he wants to stop Inspector Cheddar becoming a waxwork!'Should be a hit for anyone who is, or has been, ten years old.' The Bookbag'Worth it for the delightfully feline puns alone.' Herald'As many ups and downs, triumphs and disasters, thrills and spills as ever.' Carousel'Atticus Claw is a masterpiece!' Sam, age 12'Very funny and interesting.' Aram age 9'Atticus is naughty and really cool!' Lucas, age 7'Atticus Claw is fantastic.' Charlotte, age 8
Attrib.: And Other Stories
by null Eley WilliamsA GRANTA BEST YOUNG BRITISH NOVELIST 2023 ‘The real inexplicable gorgeous brilliant thing’ MAX PORTER 'She has arrived in a class of her own' SARAH PERRY 'Funny, playful and utterly bravura' MELISSA HARRISON The debut story collection from Eley Williams centres upon the difficulties of communication and the way in which one's thoughts – absurd, encompassing, oblique – may never be fully communicable and yet can overwhelm. Attrib. and other stories celebrates the tricksiness of language just as it confronts its limits. Correspondingly, the stories are littered with the physical ephemera of language: dictionaries, dog-eared pages, bookmarks and old coffee stains on older books. This is writing that centres on the weird, tender intricacies of the everyday where characters vie to 'own' their words, tell tall tales and attempt to define their worlds. With affectionate, irreverent and playful prose, the inability to communicate exactly what we mean dominates this bold collection from one of Britain's unique and most original writers.
The Audacity Of Hype: Bewilderment, sleaze and other tales of the 21st century
by Armando IannucciIn THE AUDACITY OF HYPE, Armando Iannucci cuts straight to the heart of the insanity and sherbet-headed nonsense of modern life. THE AUDACITY OF HYPE brings together his views on diverse subjects, ranging from wickedly funny pen portraits of the sometimes loveable, usually despicable chumps who like to think of themselves as our political elite, and their bonkers schemes to save the world that are in fact likely to do us more harm than a pile of witches, to WMD, disaster movies, the pitfalls of 'I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here' and the high and mighty rhetoric of Obama, this is an absurdly entertaining and utterly indispensable collection from one of Britain's most brilliant satirists.
Augustus Carp, Esq.: by Himself
by Henry Howarth BashfordMeet our memoirist, Augustus Carp, a self-proclaimed "good man" who relishes every opportunity to condemn the weaknesses of others while excusing his own failings. In this spoof autobiography, the pompous narrator enthusiastically recounts his mundane achievements with unwitting hilarity, making frequent asides to bemoan the sins of lesser mortals. Much of the story's ironic humor derives from his delivery; the more seriously Carp takes himself, the more ridiculous he appears. This riotous fable is supported by a cast of delightfully eccentric and grotesque characters: Abraham Stool, manufacturer of the famous Adult Gripe Water; schoolteacher Mr. Beerthorpe, inevitably known to his charges as "Beery"; the Rev. Eugene Cake, author of such improving fiction as Gnashers of Teeth; and other memorable personalities. A cult classic and comic gem, the book was originally published anonymously in 1924 and rediscovered decades later, when its author was revealed as a genteel (and discreet) London physician. This edition features the splendidly droll illustrations by Punch artist Marjorie Blood from the original publication.
Auld Enemies: The Scots and the English
by David RossFor almost a thousand years, Scotland and England have been neighbour nations. For more than half that time, they were foreign countries, often at war. Four hundred years ago, they began to share a monarchy; three hundred years ago, they joined in a United Kingdom. A new concept of 'Britishness' arose, but for most purposes Scots remained Scots and English remained English, and the old sense of rivalry remained. In olden times, a war of words and propaganda accompanied the fighting. As the countries got to know each other better and the fighting died down, the verbal exchanges continued, and became sharper, more wide-ranging, and funnier. This book provides a unique record of the long contest of verbal warfare across the Border, from its beginnings right up to the present day. Auld Enemies will be a useful handbook that can be enjoyed whichever side you're on.
Auld Lang Syne!: Reliving A Scottish Childhood
by Allan MorrisonAn A-Z of over 600 words and phrases from bestselling humour author Allan Morrison. Each term is explained and every example evokes some nostalgic memory of how things used to be when growing up in Scotland between the wars. Some of the terms have been out of use for a generation or more while some are still in use today. Take for example: Auntie Beeny - An old lady you knew who dressed in the style of long ago. Athol Brose - Sweet oatmeal dessert made with cream, honey and whisky. Back green/court - If you lived in a city tenement you probably played in the back court on a shared grassy or paved area. Sometimes called a backie. Baffle wall - Erected four feet away from the close mouths of tenements, just parallel with the pavement. It was a solid brick wall, some six feet high. six feet wide and two feet thick, designed to deflect a bomb blast from a close mouth in case people were sheltering there. Some baffle walls were constructed of corrugated iron sheets held together by a frame and filled with sand. Baikie - The square wooden bucket used to take out the ash from the domestic fire, and also bring coal into the house. Also used for feeding cattle and washing dishes! Baldy Bayne - The name you gave to someone who was bald. This book will have a strong gift appeal at Xmas in Scotland as an ideal family present for grandparents. Morrison's name and Besley's cartoons will only increase this titles appeal.
Aunt Clara
by Noel StreatfeildSixty-two-year-old Clara leads a virtuous life. She spends all her time helping others and she always puts her friends and family first. It’s a shame that nobody, including her four siblings and their myriad of children, ever stops to say thank you and appreciate all she does.. . . until wealthy Uncle Simon comes into her life. Like Clara, Simon never married, never had children and he lived alone – the two understood each other like no one else in the family could. So when Uncle Simon dies, and leaves very specific wishes to Clara in his will, the path of her life changes in ways she could never imagined.Thrown into the world of circuses, greyhound-racing and dubious house-property, Aunt Clara encounters bizarre incidents and an unlikely love story in this enchanting novel from Carnegie Medal winning author, Noel Streatfeild.
Auntie Mame: An Irreverent Escapade (Penguin Modern Classics)
by Patrick DennisWhen shy young heir Patrick is orphaned at the age of ten, the only family he has is his wealthy and eccentric aunt, a New York socialite named Mame. Prone to dramatic costumes, flights of fancy and expensive whims, Mame will raise Patrick the only way she knows how - with humour, mishaps, unforgettable friends and lots of love. From progressive schooling and Mame's search for a husband to her short-lived literary career and the puncturing of some of Patrick's romances, Auntie Mame is the most magnificent and hilarious work of love, style, wit and the life of a modern American.
Aunts Aren't Gentlemen: (Jeeves & Wooster) (Jeeves & Wooster #1)
by P.G. Wodehouse'Why have you got to go anywhere? Are you on the run from the police?''Doctor's orders.'When Bertie Wooster overdoes metropolitan life, his doctor prescribes fresh air in the depths of the country. But after moving with Jeeves to his cottage at Maiden Eggesford, Bertie soon finds himself surrounded by aunts - not only his redoubtable Aunt Dahlia but an aunt of Jeeves's too.Add a hyper-sensitive racehorse, a pompous cat and a decidedly bossy fiancée - and all the ingredients are present for a plot in which aunts can exert their terrible authority. But Jeeves, of course, can cope with everything - even aunts, and even the country.'The best English comic novels of the century' Sebastian Faulks'Wodehouse always lifts your spirits, no matter how high they happen to be already' Lynne Truss
Aussie Rules: A fun and sexy escapist romance!
by Jill Shalvis'Perfect, feel-good fiction' Sarah Morgan on The Lemon SistersIf you love Holly Martin, Jill Mansell and Debbie Macomber, you'll LOVE Jill Shalvis and her irresistible trademark gift for humour, warmth and romance!Jill's books are guaranteed to make you smile:'You can't go wrong with a Jill Shalvis book' 5* reader review'A heartwarming read with all the feels' 5* reader review'Another winner... I cannot wait for more' 5* reader review'A riveting and comforting romance' 5* reader reviewThis Just In: Hell's Officially Breaking LooseIt's bad enough that gutsy pilot Mel Anderson has to clean up after her lovable but completely disorganized best friend and business partner, Dimi, while her certifiable employees make more work than they do. Now, the one man she hoped she'd never see again is back and looking for trouble. Scratch that, he is trouble. Amazing, more please trouble...Bo Black wants his family's airport back, and he's determined to get it. This laid-back Aussie is nobody's fool. Thing is, neither is Mel. She's intense. Uptight. Sexy. And very, very tempting. Suddenly, Bo's thinking less about revenge and more about kissing and touching and falling into a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kind of forever love...Want more warm, funny romance? Check out the Heartbreaker Bay novels starting with Sweet Little Lies, visit stunning Wildstone, gorgeous Cedar Ridge, spellbinding Lucky Harbor or experience some Animal Magnetism in Sunshine, Idaho in Jill's other unforgettable series.
Austenistan
by Laaleen SukheraHeiress Kamila Mughal is humiliated when her brother's best friend snubs her to marry a social climbing nobody from Islamabad. Roya discovers her fiancé has been cheating on her and ends up on a blind date on her wedding day. Beautiful young widow Begum Saira Qadir has mourned her husband, but is she finally ready to start following her own desires? Inspired by Jane Austen and set in contemporary Pakistan, Austenistan is a collection of seven stories; romantic, uplifting, witty, and heartbreaking by turn, which pay homage to the world's favourite author in their own uniquely local way.
Australian Affairs: Second Chance With Her Soldier / The Firefighter To Heal Her Heart / Wedding At Sunday Creek (Mills And Boon M&b Ser.)
by Barbara Hannay Annie O'Neil Leah MartynCan their love last a lifetime?
