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Bad Mermaids Make Waves (Bad Mermaids)
by Jason Cockcroft Ms Sibéal PounderA trio of smart and stylish mermaids are about to make a splash in this hilarious start to a new middle-grade series that's The Little Mermaid meets My Big Fat Zombie Goldfish.Mermaids Beattie, Mimi, and Zelda's summer on land with temporary legs is going swimmingly-until they receive a strange message ordering them to return home at once. The beloved queen of the Hidden Lagoon has been fishnapped, and some seriously bad mermaids have taken over instead! Now, the girls are the only ones who can stop them.If they're going to save the day, they'll need a clam car, some piranha-print nail polish, and possibly a talking seahorse named Steve. Can they do it?Filled with magical mysteries, fabulous shell fashions, and three fin-tastic protagonists to root for, Bad Mermaids Make Waves is a hysterical new middle-grade adventure that will have readers begging for the sea-quel.
Bad Mermaids Meet the Sushi Sisters (Bad Mermaids)
by Sibéal PounderMeri Pebble, professional spy mermaid, has a new mission. She's going to be a personal assistant to the Sushi Sisters (famous for their notorious appearance on reality TV programme Catwalk Prawn, and for driving around in a submarine shaped like a giant bit of sushi). Beattie, Mimi, Zelda and Steve the talking seahorse are coming along for the ride as the least convincing glam squad ever. Meanwhile, on land, their human friend Paris is moving from California to a castle in Scotland complete with a loch rumoured to be haunted by a mermaid. The gang soon realise there's something o-fish-ally fishy about the Sushi Sisters – but could it lead them all the way to Paris's loch? And what has the loch got to do with things like mercats and hamstars (half hamster, half starfish)? Things are getting sea-riously weird in the fourth book in Sibéal Pounder's Bad Mermaids series!
Bad Mermaids: On Thin Ice
by Sibéal PounderIn the kingdom of Frostopia, mermaids Beattie, Mimi and Zelda have come to the aid of Maritza Mist, a famous water witch who supplies magic spells to the underwater kingdoms.Two notoriously bad mermaids have escaped from Viper View prison and stolen Maritza's map that shows the locations of twelve magical objects. When brought together, these objects will create the most powerful water witch the world has ever known. Beattie, Mimi and Zelda set off to travel the underwater kingdoms to stop them. But they haven't counted on meeting a bunch of over-zealous spies, the oldest shark in the world or their faithful companion Steve the seahorse going rogue ...On Thin Ice is the third book in the hilarious Bad Mermaids series from the superbly witty and creative Sibéal Pounder, author of Witch Wars and a World Book Day author for 2019.
Bad Motherfucker: The Life And Movies Of Samuel L. Jackson, The Coolest Man In Hollywood
by Gavin Edwards
The Bad Mothers' Book Club: A laugh-out-loud novel full of humour and heart
by Keris Stainton'Keris is a wonderful writer. You should definitely get hold of this book!' Charlotte, 5 starsThe laugh-out-loud new novel from the ebook bestseller!Meet Emma, the new Mum on the block. Since moving to the Liverpudlian seaside after her husband's career change, her life consists of the following: long walks on the beach (with the dog), early nights (with the kids) and Netflix (no chill). Bored and lonely, when Emma is cordially invited to the exclusive cool school-mums' book club, she thinks her luck may finally be about to change. But she soon finds the women of the club aren't quite what they seem - and after an unfortunate incident involving red wine and a white carpet, she finds herself unceremoniously kicked out. The answer? Start her own book club - for bad mothers who just want to drink wine and share stories. But will this town let two book clubs exist? Or is there only room for one queen of the school gates...? Perfect for fans of Big Little Lies and Why Mummy Drinks.Praise for Keris Stainton:'I absolutely adore this author's books, they are easy to read and I love the characters that she creates!... I LOVED it - such a good story and no hesitation in giving it 5 stars - it is funny and heart-warming at the same time, a highlight of the year so far for me - a genuine pleasure to read!!' Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars'Keris's books always make me feel like I can achieve anything I set my mind to. Heart-warming, body-positive, sweet and caring, I am going to be thinking about these characters for a long time.' Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars'One of those books you think I'll just read a couple of chapters and the next thing you're nearly half way through the book... Witty, warm and well-written. A great read.' NetGalley reviewer'A wonderful book! I loved the storyline and characters... A perfect beach read.' NetGalley reviewer, 5 stars'I devoured it in a matter of hours.' This Price is Usually Right
The Bad Mother's Handbook
by Kate LongThe Bad Mother's Handbook is the story of a year in the lives of Charlotte, Karen and Nan, none of whom can quite believe how things have turned out. Why is it all so difficult? Why do the most ridiculous mistakes have the most disastrous consequences? When are you too old to throw up in a flowerbed after too much vodka? When are you too young to be a mother? Both hilarious and wise, it is a clear-eyed look at motherhood - and childhood - in its many guises, from the moment the condom breaks to the moment you file for divorce or, more optimistically, from the moment you hear your baby's first cry to the moment you realize that there are as many sorts of mother as there are children, and that love sometimes is the most important thing of all.
Bad News: Hilarious Typos, Marvellous Misprints and Epic Headline Fails
by Richard Benson'The away team were prevented from making a final strike due to a well-timed tickle' Laugh out loud at this selection of the funniest faux pas, silliest slips and most blatant bloopers that ever made it into print (and some that didn’t), from newspaper headlines to menus, and from small ads to social media. You’ll be checking everything you type after reading this!
Bad News: Never Mind, Bad News And Some Hope (The Patrick Melrose Novels #2)
by Edward St AubynBad News is the second of Edward St Aubyn's semi-autobiographical Patrick Melrose novels, adapted for TV for Sky Atlantic and starring Benedict Cumberbatch as aristocratic addict, Patrick.Twenty-two years old and in the grip of a massive addiction, Patrick Melrose is forced to fly to New York to collect his father’s ashes. Over the course of a weekend, Patrick’s remorseless search for drugs on the avenues of Manhattan, haunted by old acquaintances and insistent inner voices, sends him into a nightmarish spiral. Alone in his room at the Pierre Hotel, he pushes body and mind to the very edge – desperate always to stay one step ahead of his rapidly encroaching past.Bad News was originally published, along with Never Mind and Some Hope, as part of a three book omnibus also called Some Hope.
Bad Panda
by Swapna HaddowAre you sick of being utterly adorable?Tired of being cuddled and hugged?Fed up of having your head confused for your bottom because you just so happen to be SOOOOPER-DOOOOOPER fluffy?Lin: If you answered yes to any of those questions, then you're in the right book.Everyone thinks that Lin is the cutest panda in the world. So much so that they ship her off to the local zoo, away from her beloved brother, to be ogled at by the masses. But Lin HATES being cute, and now she will do everything in her power to prove that she's the baddest, meanest, most un-cute animal in the zoo.Laugh-yourself-out-of-bed hilarious, the first in a new series from the creators of DAVE PIGEON.
Bad Panda: The Cake Escape
by Swapna HaddowOn EVERY PAGE you will find:Guaranteed laughs! Stylish two-colour illustrations!General PANDAmonium! Lin the panda is on a mission: to find her best friend, Fu. He's disappeared from the zoo! Has he been stolen by the Horrid Human? Only her badness can help her find him . . . Luckily this panda is as fearless as she is fluffy! Just don't call her 'cute' . . .
Bad Romance
by Emily HillTales from the happily never afterAt a wedding, one woman’s revenge comes in the shape of her heavily pregnant belly. As a career girl attempts to climb the ladder she slides down into ever more grotesque flatshares. A single woman who always attends parties alone realises that the truth might not always be the best answer. And one Londoner learns her most important lesson since moving to the city – never act friendly towards a stranger.Bad Romance is dark, hilarious and moving by turn as Emily Hill’s acid wit gives life to the women whose tales never normally make it into the storybooks.
The Bad Seeds (Sweetpea series #5)
by null C.J. SkuseLiked the Sweetpea TV series on Sky Atlantic? You'll love the books… ‘This isn’t a book for the squeamish or the faint-hearted … think Bridget Jones meets American Psycho’ Red 🪓 Sweetpea is coming home at last… Newly married, with a loving family surrounding her, everything's coming up roses for ex-serial killer Rhiannon Lewis, right? Wrong. Her husband has just been shot, and the daughter she left behind in the UK is desperately ill. She’s got no choice but to flee the States and return home, back to her roots, where she’s in danger of being recognised and arrested at any moment. Only nothing is quite as it seems… With a series of bad choices in front of her, and the authorities right behind, Rhiannon's in a hell of a hole and she needs to dig herself out of it pronto. But help can come from the most unlikely places. And even more unlikely people… Readers love the Sweetpea series! ‘Visceral, chilling and absolutely downright thrilling: I wish I had read it sooner!’ Reader review ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ ‘Wickedly funny’ Reader review ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ ‘Brilliantly dark and twisted’ Reader review ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Praise for CJ Skuse: ‘This darkly comic novel… has the potential to become a cult classic’ Daily Mail ‘Dark, depraved and devilishly delicious. A full throttle savage and satirical thriller’ John Marrs ‘Hilarious, refreshing, dark and memorable. It doesn’t disappoint, I loved it’ Phoebe Morgan
Bad Summer People: A scorchingly addictive summer must-read
by Emma RosenblumGET READY FOR YOUR NEXT SUMMER OBSESSION: A PERFECT RICH-PEOPLE-BEHAVING-BADLY BEACH READ'Need a post-Waystar fix? Get your eyes round Bad Summer People' SUNDAY TIMES STYLE 'Awful rich people on their summer holidays having affairs and secret money worries, it is DELICIOUS' MARIAN KEYES--- The island’s where you go to have fun. Miles of beaches and boardwalks. The sun’s hot. The games are competitive. And the best liaisons are illicit. The same rich families have been coming every summer for years. And whether it’s on the tennis court, or in the bedroom, old rivalries gain a new frisson. Then the body is found. Is it murder? Has it all, finally, gone too far? But if so – how do you stop?---‘Brilliantly written, wryly funny, excitingly paced’ DAILY MAIL ‘A sizzling sin-fest. The perfect page-turning read’ GRAZIA ‘Delicious: such gossipy, naughty fun’ LUCY FOLEY ‘Wicked, clever fun. Sinfully good like a summer cocktail you want to keep refilling’ KEVIN KWAN ‘An addictive thriller’ NEW YORK TIMES
Bad Teacher: Hilarious tales of staff misbehaving
by Jenny CromptonWe can all recall a little rule bending in our schooldays - the Geography teacher who preferred to talk football than fold mountains; the sixth form head who let out the odd swear word. But pity the poor students who encountered the educators in this book. This hilarious exposé of life inside a modern-day classroom covers a host of teacher tardiness, truanting and tellings-off, including: The role-play loving maths teacher who used the quiet time afforded during pupil tests to practice his swordplay for his forthcoming historical reenactment weekender. The bitter art teacher who, during the midst of his divorce from his third wife, cracked open a can of beer and asked his students why women are 'hardwired to be soul-sucking, money-grabbing b****es'. Covering all subjects from primary school to college, this assembly of bloopers will leave you amused and worried for our schoolchildren - all at the same time!
Bad Twins
by Rebecca ChanceNever trust the face in the mirror . . .It’s no surprise to anyone that Jeffrey Sachs, billionaire CEO of his own hotel chain, has a drop-dead gorgeous Estonian mistress. But stepping down to spend his retirement years with her? No one saw that coming – least of all his wife!So now the prize of becoming Sachs CEO is up for grabs – and Jeffrey’s four children have until the day of his wedding to compete for the job.The front runner is Conway, the older son and golden boy. But Charlotte, a glamorous social media star with an Instagram-perfect family, is hugely ambitious, fully prepared to scheme and backstab to get to the top. Then there’s the dark horse: Bella, her mild-mannered, hard-working twin sister. Or could Bart, the youngest child, a sexy, incorrigible playboy, somehow catapult himself into Daddy’s good books?In a game where the ultimate prize is power beyond your wildest dreams, you should never underestimate your competitors, even if they are family . . . and, it turns out, twins can be the most dangerous rivals of all . . .Bad Twins by bestselling author Rebecca Chance explores vicious sibling rivalry in this gripping thriller.
Badass Baby Names: Inspired by the Most Awesome, Fearless and Cool Men and Women in History
by Marvella NomineGrowing a baby? Got to name it? No sweat. Take naming inspiration from the ultimate, most kick ass men and women in history. This baby name book is an A-Z of total badasses, explains what gives them serious swagger and the reasons why they are worthy of being your future son or daughter's moniker. From the world-changers and fearless adventurers, to the whip-smart inventors and scientists of the last five centuries, why not name your little bundle after humans to admire, celebrate and love? Take name ideas from those who kicked Fascist ass to the kings and queens taking bravery to another level, or from a doctor with so much badassitude he saved his own life blindly removing his appendix in the middle of the Antarctic. This is the book for every parent-to-be looking for inspirational name ideas for their future badass baby.
Badger’s Bath (A Percy the Park Keeper Story)
by Nick ButterworthA funny Percy the Park Keeper story from highly regarded, award-winning author and illustrator Nick Butterworth, creator of One Snowy Night.
The Bagthorpe Saga: Being The First Part Of The Bagthorpe Saga (Collins Modern Classics #No.1)
by Helen CresswellFirst in the super-funny classic series The Bagthorpe Saga, starring the TOTALLY unforgettable Bagthorpe family – from best-loved author Helen Cresswell.
The Bagthorpe Saga: Absolute Zero (Collins Modern Classics)
by Helen CresswellThe second book in the super-funny classic series The Bagthorpe Saga, starring the TOTALLY unforgettable Bagthorpe family – from best-loved author Helen Cresswell.
Baking with Kafka
by Tom GauldIn Baking with Kafka, Tom Gauld asks the questions no one else dares ask about civilisation as we know it. - How do you get published during a skeleton apocalypse? - What was the secret of Kafka's lemon drizzle cake? - And what plot possibilities does the exploding e-cigarette offer modern mystery writers? A riotous collection of laugh-out-loud cartoons in his signature style, Baking with Kafka reaffirms Gauld's position as a first-rate cartoonist, creating work infused with a deep understanding of both literary and cartoon history.
Bala Takes the Plunge
by Melvin DuraiBala dreams of making Tamil films and directing his favourite actor Rajnikanth – a dream that leads him naturally to study engineering in college. This earns him his father's approval and the opportunity to export himself to America. As Director of Design at Flexit Inc., thinking up new ways to help Americans shed the excess weight around their middles and in their wallets, he is at least some kind of director. Bala loves America, and America it seems loves him even more. He has everything he needs to be happy: a green card, a satellite dish to watch cricket and a companion to share his home – albeit one with a very limited vocabulary. But he is now less than a year away from the big 30, and if he doesn't act fast he might have to settle for whichever bride his Amma chooses. So begins Bala's quest for romance as he meets both American and Indian women some who are too old, others too young, and yet others just too stuck up. Will he ever find someone just right for him – and good enough to inherit his mother's Corelle dishes?
Ball Buster (The Playbook #1)
by Kara SheridanIn Kara Sheridan's sexy new series, these hard-hitting pro footballers don't play by the book. Playbook Rule #1: Never ever give upIt's official. The Alabama Warriors have the worst reputation in pro football. As the team's captain, Carson Savage has his ass on the line and - thanks to a leaked photo - his ass is also online. Now the team is getting an image makeover from Sadie Reynolds, the hottest redhead in the South and Carson's high school sweetheart. Maybe making a play for his sexy ex is a risky move... but Carson didn't make it this far by playing it safe.Alabama is the last place in the world Sadie wants to be. Going home again only reminds her of what - and who - she gave up. Seeing the insanely hot ex she never quite forgot is dangerous. Carson's too sexy. Too tempting. And Sadie can't afford to go out of bounds. So she'll do whatever it takes to finish this job and leave town with her heart still intact. The only problem? Carson's decided it's not about winning the game... it's about winning the girl.The Playbook series: Ball BusterTight EndBig Jock
Balling the Jack
by Frank BaldwinSharp, funny, romantic tale of love and gambling in slacker-generation New York.
Banana Devil Cake (Beattie Bramshaw Mysteries)
by Susan A. KingA NEW BEATTIE BRAMSHAW MYSTERYWith the murder of last year’s fête judge now but a hazy memory, the village of Elmesbury has retired to its former tranquil existence. That is, until a mysterious newcomer sets in motion a series of events that will see members of the W.I. crossing wooden spoons at dawn.In the midst of preparing for her long-awaited engagement party, redoubtable village busybody Beattie Bramshaw not only finds herself embroiled in a one-woman campaign to save the elm tree from which the village gets its name, but also having to contend with an outbreak of unrest within her beloved W.I. group. Rivalry to win favour with the judge of this year’s fête has fuelled dissent within the ranks and, when two members are found dead in mysterious circumstances, suspicions run rife.Confident the devil is not only in the cake but in the detail, Beattie determines to uncover the clues that will ultimately lead to the killer’s conviction. But can she solve the mystery before another member of the W.I. is picked off?Banana Devil Cakeis a comedy crime caper in the style of Agatha Raisin and one that is guaranteed to lift your spirits. Prepare yourself for a tale of tea, cake and riotous goings-on from the author of Marrow Jam.
Banana Spaghetti
by Ann CameronHuey has a bright idea!Huey wants to surprise his mum on Mother's Day, so he invents banana spaghetti. It takes a bit of help from Dad to get it right, but Huey is determined to show everyone that he is just as clever as his big brother, Julian. And when Huey beats his fear of the dark, he proves he is just as brave too.