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The Beautiful Poetry of Donald Trump
by Rob SearsFor the last decade, Rob Sears has been painstakingly combing the words of Donald J. Trump for signs of poetry. To the surprise of many, he has found riches. By simply cutting up and reordering lines from Trump’s tweets, Truths and transcripts, Sears has unearthed a trove of exquisite verse that was just waiting to be found.In this expanded edition of a poetry classic, fans can rediscover a writer of rare conviction (thirty-four felony charges and counting), and for the first time ponder the full span of Trump's artistic flowering and the paradoxes it poses. Like: How can one and the same person unite critics with beautiful poems, yet prove so divisive in his 'other life' as a political leader? And how can a man many consider desperately flawed produce works of such grace as 'All I ask is fairness', 'My hands are normal hands' and 'Shithole countries'?The Beautiful Poetry of Donald Trump is a carefully curated collection for our times that will make a thought-provoking addition to any poetry-lover’s library.
The Beautiful Poetry of Football Commentary
by Charlie EccleshareRoma have risen from their ruins!Manolas, the Greek God in Rome!The unthinkable unfolds before our eyes.This was not meant to happen, this could not happen . . . this is happening!Peter DruryIf football is the beautiful game, then commentators are its poets.Whether it's the brevity of Barry Davies, the boundless enthusiasm of Clive Tyldesley or the sheer eloquence of Peter Drury's monologues, the canon of football commentary is replete with memorable lines that would have some of the great classical orators nodding in appreciation. Curated by football journalist Charlie Eccleshare, The Beautiful Poetry of Football Commentary is a glorious anthology of iconic lines, set out as poems, celebrating the best commentators that have ever graced a microphone. Each poem is accompanied by 'scholarly' analysis capturing the enduring power of language on the beautiful game.So, drink it in, and immerse yourself in classic verse from Ali Brownlee, Andy Gray, Brian Moore, David Coleman, John Motson, Jon Champion, Jonathan Pearce, Kenneth Wolstenholme, Martin Tyler, and many more.
Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies: On Myths, Morons, Free Speech, Football, and Assorted Absurdities
by Chris KluweHi. In your hands, right now, you hold the culmination of thousands of years of human intelligence, ingenuity, and brilliance. Now put your goddamn phone down and pay attention to my book. What is in my book, you ask? (I'm really glad you asked, by the way, because now I get to tell you.) Time travel. Gay marriage. Sportsballing. Futuristic goggles that DO NOTHING. Tiny brags from my publisher, stuff like: "This is an uproarious, uncensored take on empathy, personal responsibility, and what it means to be human." Excessive brags about myself: "An extraordinarily clever, punishingly funny, sharp-tongued blogosphere star, NFL player, husband and father, one-time violin prodigy, voracious lifetime reader, obsessive gamer, and fearless champion of personal freedom." Oh, and also an essay on the Pope's Twitter account. Honestly, if that doesn't draw you in, there's no hope left for humanity. I also give my own funeral eulogy, in case you were hoping I'd go away and die now! So please, join me in the glorious art of windmill tilting by reading this "collection of rousing, uncensored personal essays, letters, and stories" (I have no idea why that's in quotes). Join the herd of Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies. (You know you want to.)
Beauty and the Bin
by Joanne O'ConnellLaurie's home-made beauty recipes are no secret. The secret is that her eco-warrior family get their ingredients from the bin. Laurie loves her family and she wants to join them in making the world a better place, one home-made bath bomb at a time. But right now, she doesn't want to be fishing her food out the bin. She just wants to go for a hot chocolate with her friends after school and be a normal kid. So when a competition comes to Silverdale High looking for the next best 'Business with a difference', and the most popular girl in school, wants to team up to sell Laurie's lotions and potions, she can hardly believe her luck. But can she find success and popularity without losing sight of her true self?Joanne O'Connell's Beauty and the Bin is a fresh and funny debut about friends, family, school and being a young eco-warrior.'Funny, warm, and just so refreshing . . . I loved this sparkling debut." Carlie Sorosiak, bestselling author of I, Cosmo
Bec: Book 4 In The Demonata Series (The Demonata #4)
by Darren ShanDarren Shan’s Demonata series continues with more shocks, demons and thrilling twists in the chilling Bec.
Because I Don't Know What You Mean and What You Don't
by Josie LongLONGLISTED FOR THE EDGE HILL SHORT STORY PRIZEFrom a comic mastermind comes this brilliant collection of stories Three teenagers believe they are witches. A woman defaces a local billboard. A bored landlord tries to influence his son’s best friend. A cul-de-sac WhatsApp group discusses eggs at length. A heavily pregnant woman finds a way to time travel and a girl discovers joy on a stolen bicycle . . . Each tale paints a life in miniature and offers an escape chute from the mayhem of modern life.
Because Internet: Understanding how language is changing
by Gretchen McCullochTHE ACCLAIMED NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER. Because Internet is for anyone who's ever puzzled over how to punctuate a text message or wondered where memes come from. It's the perfect book for understanding how the internet is changing the English language, why that's a good thing, and what our online interactions reveal about who we are. Language is humanity's most spectacular open-source project, and the internet is making our language change faster and in more interesting ways than ever before. Internet conversations are structured by the shape of our apps and platforms, from the grammar of status updates to the protocols of comments and @replies. Linguistically inventive online communities spread new slang and jargon with dizzying speed. What's more, social media is a vast laboratory of unedited, unfiltered words where we can watch language evolve in real time. Even the most absurd-looking slang has genuine patterns behind it. Internet linguist Gretchen McCulloch explores the deep forces that shape human language and influence the way we communicate with one another. She explains how your first social internet experience influences whether you prefer 'LOL' or 'lol', why ~sparkly tildes~ succeeded where centuries of proposals for irony punctuation had failed, what emoji have in common with physical gestures, and how the artfully disarrayed language of animal memes like lolcats and doggo made them more likely to spread.'McCulloch is such a disarming writer - lucid, friendly, unequivocally excited about her subject - that I began to marvel at the flexibility of the online language she describes, with its numerous shades of subtlety.' New York Times
Because Mummy Said So: And Other Unreasonable Tales of Motherhood
by Shari LowThe era of the yummy mummy has finally gone and to celebrate, Shari Low has taken a baby wipe to the glossy veneer of the school of perfect parenting with Because Mummy Said So. This collection of hilarious memories tells the truth about motherhood in all of its sleep-deprived, frazzled glory. No judgement, no impossibly high standards, no perfect day – just real life and a whole lot of chaos that every experienced, new or soon-to-be parent will relate to. Embarrassing mistakes, disastrous summer holidays, childhood milestones, tear-jerking nativity plays, eight bouts of chickenpox and that time when a three-year-old superhero locked himself in a toilet... this is one imperfect mum's tales of the ups, downs and unforgettable moments of parenthood.
Because of You: The instant Sunday Times bestseller
by Dawn FrenchTHE EAGERLY AWAITED, LIFE-AFFIRMING AND MOVING NEW NOVEL FROM NUMBER-ONE BESTSELLING AUTHOR DAWN FRENCH'Dawn tackles the big ones - love, death, grief, childhood, motherhood, parenthood - head on' Guardian'Beautifully observed' The Times__________ Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock . . . midnight. The old millennium turns into the new. In the same hospital, two very different women give birth to two very similar daughters. Hope leaves with a beautiful baby girl. Anna leaves with empty arms. Seventeen years later, the gods who keep watch over broken-hearted mothers wreak mighty revenge, and the truth starts rolling, terrible and deep, toward them all. The power of mother-love will be tested to its limits. Perhaps beyond . . . Because Of You is Dawn French's stunning new novel, told with her signature humour, warmth and so much love.'Gorgeous . . . wise and full of love' MARIAN KEYES'An extraordinary book - sad, heartening, gripping and reassuringly human' JO BRAND'Dawn French is a wonderful writer' Daily Mail'Incredible' RUSSELL BRAND'Moving . . . French's best yet' Good Housekeeping'French manages to pick your heart up with the nib of her pen and slowly pull it apart, heart-wrenchingly, page by page . . . A true writing talent' My Weekly READERS LOVE BECAUSE OF YOU:'Tugs at your heart strings. I would have a box of tissues when reading!' 5***** 'I had tears in my eyes by the end of the book. Absolutely wonderfully written' 5***** 'A profoundly emotional read about the love between mothers and daughters. A book that I did not want to put down' 5***** 'Have your tissues ready when you read this one. It is really moving and will hit you right in the heart' 5*****
Because She Can
by Bridie ClarkIn a New York minute, Claire Truman lands both a plum position at a top publishing house and the man she's wanted for ten years...then reality intervenes. Her new boss is Vivian Grant, a notoriously ruthless tyrant known for her tirades, traumatized assistants, and tabloid-inspired bestsellers. Soon Claire's job is stealing more and more of her time and her relationship with her fiancé begins to feel the strain. It doesn't help that she's working late nights with a brilliant-and handsome-first-time author. As Vivian's outrageous demands continue to escalate, Claire wonders if she likes where the fast track is taking her-and worries about what she might turn into...
Becoming Carole Lombard: Stardom, Comedy, and Legacy
by Olympia KiriakouBecoming Carole Lombard: Stardom, Comedy and Legacy is a historical critique of the development and reception of Carole Lombard's stardom from the classical Hollywood period to present day. Based on original archival research, Olympia Kiriakou combines theoretically informed textual analyses of Lombard's performances and star image across different media (biographies, publicity materials, photography and film) with a critical engagement of the cultural, economic, social and industrial conditions that shaped her stardom. Sitting at the intersection of feminist film theory, star studies and comedy theory, this work presents Lombard as a case study to challenge the screwball canon and existent academic discourse about female physical comedy and the alleged “delicate” female body. In doing so, it formulates a new historical approach to understanding gender, femininity, and identity in Hollywood comedies of the 1930s. Moreover, this is the first research of its kind to offer a comprehensive understanding of Lombard's stardom beyond her associations with the screwball comedy genre.
Becoming Carole Lombard: Stardom, Comedy, and Legacy
by Olympia KiriakouBecoming Carole Lombard: Stardom, Comedy and Legacy is a historical critique of the development and reception of Carole Lombard's stardom from the classical Hollywood period to present day. Based on original archival research, Olympia Kiriakou combines theoretically informed textual analyses of Lombard's performances and star image across different media (biographies, publicity materials, photography and film) with a critical engagement of the cultural, economic, social and industrial conditions that shaped her stardom. Sitting at the intersection of feminist film theory, star studies and comedy theory, this work presents Lombard as a case study to challenge the screwball canon and existent academic discourse about female physical comedy and the alleged “delicate” female body. In doing so, it formulates a new historical approach to understanding gender, femininity, and identity in Hollywood comedies of the 1930s. Moreover, this is the first research of its kind to offer a comprehensive understanding of Lombard's stardom beyond her associations with the screwball comedy genre.
Bed Manners: A Very British Guide to Boudoir Etiquette (Old House Ser.)
by Bloomsbury PublishingA vintage light-hearted guide to the fraught battlefield of bedroom etiquette ... Ever wanted to know how to avoid horrifying your husband with your nightly toilette? Or avoid incurring the wrath of your wife when creeping home late at night? First published in the 1930s, the humorous advice in 'Bed Manners' reveals the rules of bedroom etiquette, including whose responsibility it is to investigate strange sounds, how to make morning conversation, and coping with a bedfellow who kicks, snores or steals all the covers.
Bed Manners: A Very British Guide to Boudoir Etiquette
by Bloomsbury PublishingA vintage light-hearted guide to the fraught battlefield of bedroom etiquette ... Ever wanted to know how to avoid horrifying your husband with your nightly toilette? Or avoid incurring the wrath of your wife when creeping home late at night? First published in the 1930s, the humorous advice in 'Bed Manners' reveals the rules of bedroom etiquette, including whose responsibility it is to investigate strange sounds, how to make morning conversation, and coping with a bedfellow who kicks, snores or steals all the covers.
The Bed of Procrustes: Philosophical and Practical Aphorisms (Incerto Ser. #4)
by Nassim Nicholas TalebIn this profound and playful book, Nassim Nicholas Taleb presents his ideas about life in the form of aphorisms, the world's earliest - and most memorable - literary form. Procrustes was a character from Greek mythology who abducted travellers and invited them to spend the night in a special bed, which they had to fit to perfection. They never did. Those who were too tall had their legs chopped off; those who were too short were stretched. Every aphorism here is about a Procrustean bed of sorts - we humans, facing the limits of our knowledge, the unseen and the unknown, resolve the tension by squeezing life and the world into crisp commoditized ideas, reductive categories, specific vocabularies and pre-packaged narratives. Only by embracing the unexpected - and accepting what we don't know - can we see the world as it really is.
Bedlam
by Christopher BrookmyreHEAVEN IS A PRISON. HELL IS A PLAYGROUND.Ross Baker is an overworked scientist developing medical technology for corporate giant Neurosphere, but he'd rather be playing computer games than dealing with his nightmare boss or slacker co-workers.He volunteers as a test candidate for the new tech - anything to get out of the office for a few hours. But when he emerges from the scanner he discovers he's not only escaped the office, but possibly escaped real life for good. He's trapped in Starfire - a video game he played as a child - with no explanation, no backup and, most terrifyingly, no way out.
Bedlam (Skulduggery Pleasant #12)
by Derek LandyThe 12th explosive novel in the internationally bestselling Skulduggery Pleasant series, BEDLAM will blow your mind – and change everything…
Bedlam (Skulduggery Pleasant #12)
by Derek LandyThe 12th explosive novel in the internationally bestselling Skulduggery Pleasant series, BEDLAM will blow your mind – and change everything…
The Bedroom Philosopher Diaries
by Justin HeazlewoodA collection of hilarious and melancholic reports from Justin Heazlewood, aka The Bedroom Philosopher, and his wealth of experience as a touring Folkstar. Read about his epic battles with drunk punters, scatty rockstars, aloof groupies and, mostly, himself. These tell-all tales allow exclusive access to the depths of the performer psyche, Boho Stripped Bare. Each entry grooves with The Bedroom Philosopher’s trademark wordplay, Gen-Y commentary and commitment to emotional honesty. Under the glare of the stage lights he explores the ungainly labyrinth of his alter-ego and the puzzling mechanics of the Australian entertainment scene.
The Bedroom Secrets of the Master Chefs: Bedroom Secrets Of The Master Chefs Poster
by Irvine WelshAt Edinburgh's Department of Environmental Health, hard-drinking, womanising officer Danny Skinner wants to uncover secrets: 'the bedroom secrets of the master chefs', secrets he believes might just help him understand his self-destructive impulses. But the arrival of the virginal, model-railway enthusiast Brian Kibby at the department provokes an uncharacteristic response in Skinner, and threatens to throw his mission off course. Consumed by loathing for his nemesis, Skinner enacts a curse, and when Kibby contracts a horrific and debilitating mystery virus, Skinner understands that their destinies are supernaturally bound, and he is faced with a terrible dilemma.
Bedside Cricket
by Christopher Martin JenkinsChristopher Martin-Jenkins is one of cricket's most sought-after speakers and his story-telling ability lights up these cricketing memories.
Bedtime Stories for Privileged Children: Charming Tales of Wealth and Entitlement for Tots Who Were Simply Born Better
by Daniel Foxx'A terribly funny book from an absolutely disgraceful person' -JOE LYCETT'Daniel's writing is hilarious, although it makes me worry about how I'm bringing my children up' - JOSH WIDDICOMBE'Finally! Some stories to shut those little brats up who disturb me at brunch!' -TOM ALLENAuthor and comedian Daniel Foxx presents a wonderful collection of stories especially for the little darlings of the fabulously wealthy - that can also be enjoyed by YOU, the downtrodden, pitiful, ordinary adult!Read about the everyday adventures of Rupert, Shallotte and Genevievette as they ski, holiday, and drift around Selfridges - whilst always keeping a healthy distance from the dreaded hoi polloi!Other magical adventures include:Rupert goes on holiday! But what is 'duty free'? And why do poor people love it so much?Cosmo goes to state school, where the teachers wear jeans and no-one can understand Latin!Lily goes with Daddy to work! And fires Kate from marketing!!BEDTIME STORIES FOR PRIVILEGED CHILDREN is the perfect Christmas gift - whether you're wintering in Aspen, summering in Tuscany, or simply want to keep the little ones quiet in the back of the Range Rover Evoque.***Contains adult language
The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee
by Sarah SilvermanSarah Silverman's father taught her to curse-at the age of three. She was a chronic bedwetter-until she was old enough to drive. She lost her virginity at age 19-but didn't really know it. These are just a few of the outrageous true tales that Silverman shares in her alternately hilarious and moving collection of autobiographical essays. With her signature taboo-breaking humour, Silverman writes on everything from her epic struggle with hairy arms (there wasn't enough wax in the world) to the death of her infant brother (It was Nana's fault) and always leaves the reader with a smile. Mixed in among the essays are scores of embarrassing photos, mortifying childhood diary entries, and truly humiliating e-mails to and from her comedian friends.
The Bee Sting: Shortlisted for the Booker Prize 2023
by Paul MurrayWINNER OF THE NERO BOOK AWARD FOR FICTION 2023WINNER OF AN POST IRISH BOOK OF THE YEAR 2023SHORTLISTED FOR THE BOOKER PRIZE 2023SHORTLISTED FOR THE WRITERS’ PRIZE FOR FICTION 2024ONE OF SARAH JESSICA PARKER’S BEST BOOKS OF 2023Book of the Year 2023 according to New York Times, New Yorker, The Sunday Times, The Economist, Observer, Guardian, Washington Post, Lit Hub, TIME magazine, Irish Times, The Oldie, Daily Mail, i Paper, Independent, The Standard, The Times, Kirkus, Daily Express, City A.M. 'A tragicomic triumph. You won't read a sadder, truer, funnier novel this year' GuardianThe Barnes family are in trouble. Until recently they ran the biggest business in town, now they’re teetering on the brink of bankruptcy – and that’s just the start of their problems. Dickie and Imelda’s marriage is hanging by a thread; straight-A student Cass is careening off the rails; PJ is hopelessly in debt to the school bully. Meanwhile the ghosts of old mistakes are rising out of the past to meet them, but everyone’s too wrapped up in the present to see the danger looming . . .'Generous, immersive, sharp-witted and devastating; the sort of novel that becomes a friend for life' Financial Times‘Paul Murray [is] the undisputed reigning champion of epic Irish tragicomedy’ Spectator‘An instant classic’ Washington Post‘[An] astute, remorselessly funny novel’ Daily Mirror ‘A wagyu steak of a novel . . . A classic in the mode of The Corrections’ The Times