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Napalm & Silly Putty
by George CarlinA hilarious new collection of razor-sharp observations from the New York Times bestselling author of Brain Droppings. Few comics make the transition from stage to page as smoothly or successfully as George Carlin. Brain Droppings spent a total of 40 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list, and this new one is certain to tickle even more ribs (and rattle a few more cages) with its characteristically ironic take on life's annoying universal truths. In Napalm & Silly Putty, Carlin doesn't steer clear of the tough issues, preferring instead to look life boldly in the eye to pose the questions few dare to ask:How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on TV that it's a spy satellite?Why do they bother saying "raw sewage"? Do some people cook that stuff?In the expression "topsy-turvy," what exactly is meant by "turvy"? And he makes some startling observations, including:Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.Guys don't seem to be called "Lefty" anymore.Most people don't know what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. Carlin also waxes wickedly philosophical on all sorts of subjects, including:KIDS--They're not all cute. In fact, if you look at them closely, some of them are rather unpleasant looking. And a lot of them don't smell too good either.DEATH ROW--If you're condemned to die they have to give you one last meal of your own request. What is that all about? A group of people plan to kill you, so they want you to eat something you like? Add to the mix "The Ten Most Embarrassing Songs of All Time," "The 20th Century Hostility Scoreboard," and "People I Can Do Without," and you have an irresistibly insouciant assortment of musings, questions, assertions, and assumptions guaranteed to please the millions of fans waiting for the next Carlin collection--and the millions more waiting to discover this comic genius.
When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?: An Orgy Of George Including Brain Droppings, Napalm And Silly Putty, And When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?
by George CarlinOn the heels of George Carlin's #1 New York Times bestseller Napalm & Silly Putty comes When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? -- infused with Carlin's trademark irreverent humor and biting cultural observations. Here we go again . . . George Carlin's hilarious When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? offers his cutting-edge opinions and observational humor on everything from evasive euphemistic language to politicians to the media to dead people. Nothing and no one is safe! Despite the current climate of political correctness, Carlin is not afraid to take on controversial topics:Carlin on the media: The media comprises equal parts business, politics, advertising, public relations, and show business. Nice combination. Enough bull for Texas to open a chain of branch offices.Carlin on the battle of the sexes: Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.Carlin on hygiene: When did they pass a law that says the people who make my sandwich have to be wearing gloves? I'm not comfortable with this. I don't want glove residue all over my food; it's not sanitary. Who knows where these gloves have been?Carlin on evasive language: Just to demonstrate how far using euphemisms in language has gone, some psychologists are now actually referring to ugly people as those with "severe appearance deficits." Hey, Doctor. How's that for "denial"?Carlin on politics: No self-respecting politician would ever admit to working in the government. They prefer to think of themselves "serving the nation." To help visualize the service they provide the country, you may wish to picture the things that take place on a stud farm. The thinking person's comic who uses words as weapons, Carlin puts voice to issues that capture the modern imagination. For instance, why are there Ten Commandments? Are UFOs real? What will the future really be like? This brand-new collection tackles all that and more. In When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? Carlin's razor-sharp observations demolish everyday values and leave you laughing out loud--delivering exactly what his countless fans have been waiting for.
The Interrogator: An Education
by Glenn L. CarleTo his friends and neighbors, Glenn L. Carle was a wholesome, stereotypical New England Yankee, a former athlete struggling against incipient middle age, someone always with his nose in an abstruse book. But for two decades Carle broke laws, stole, and lied on a daily basis about nearly everything. &“I was almost never who I said I was, or did what I claimed to be doing.&” He was a CIA spy. He thrived in an environment of duplicity and ambiguity, flourishing in the gray areas of policy. The Interrogator is the story of Carle&’s most serious assignment, when he was &“surged&” to become an interrogator in the U.S. Global War on Terror to interrogate a top level detainee at one of the CIA&’s notorious black sites overseas. It tells of his encounter with one of the most senior al-Qa&’ida detainees the U.S. captured after 9/11, a &“ghost detainee&” who, the CIA believed, might hold the key to finding Osama bin Ladin.As Carle&’s interrogation sessions progressed though, he began to seriously doubt the operation. Was this man, kidnapped in the Middle East, really the senior al-Qa&’ida official the CIA believed he was? Headquarters viewed Carle&’s misgivings as naïve troublemaking. Carle found himself isolated, progressively at odds with his institution and his orders. He struggled over how far to push the interrogation, wrestling with whether his actions constituted torture, and with what defined his real duty to his country. Then, in a dramatic twist, headquarters spirited the detainee and Carle to the CIA&’s harshest interrogation facility, a place of darkness and fear, which even CIA officers only dared mention in whispers.A haunting tale of sadness, confusion, and determination, The Interrogator is a shocking and intimate look at the world of espionage. It leads the reader through the underworld of the Global War on Terror, asking us to consider the professional and personal challenges faced by an intelligence officer during a time of war, and the unimaginable ways in which war alters our institutions and American society.
Children Of The Mind: Book 4 of the Ender Saga (Ender Saga #4)
by Orson Scott CardThe planet Lusitania is home to three sentient species: the Pequeninos; a large colony of humans; and the Hive Queen, brought there by Ender. But once again the human race has grown fearful; the Starways Congress has gathered a fleet to destroy Lusitania.Jane, the evolved computer intelligence, can save the three sentient races of Lusitania. She has learned how to move ships outside the universe, and then instantly back to a different world, abolishing the light-speed limit. But it takes all the processing power available to her, and the Starways Congress is shutting down the Net, world by world. Soon Jane will not be able to move the ships. Ender's children must save her if they are to save themselves.
Ender's Game: Ender Series, book 1 (Ender Saga #1)
by Orson Scott Card'Delivers more than almost anything else within the science fiction genre, Ender's Game is a contemporary classic' - New York TimesTHE HUMAN RACE FACES ANNIHILATION An alien threat is on the horizon, ready to strike. And if humanity is to be defended, the government must create the greatest military commander in history.The brilliant young Ender Wiggin is their last hope. But first he must survive the rigours of a brutal military training program - to prove that he can be the leader of all leaders.A saviour for mankind must be produced, through whatever means possible. But are they creating a hero or a monster?Discover the bestselling, multiple award-winning classic - a groundbreaking tale of war, strategy and survival.
Ender's Shadow: Book 1 of The Shadow Saga (Shadow Saga #1)
by Orson Scott CardOrson Scott Card is one of the world's bestselling SF authors, and the award-winning Ender saga is one of the best-loved series in the genre. ENDER'S SHADOW is the first volume in a new Ender series. Returning to the time of Ender's Game, ENDER'S SHADOW follows the incredible story of one of Ender Wiggin's fellow pupils at Battle School. Compelling, compulsive reading, ENDER'S SHADOW is certain to thrill all fans of the original series and attract many new readers.Look out for more information on this book and others on the Orbit website at www.orbitbooks.co.uk
Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids: Why Being a Great Parent is Less Work and More Fun Than You Think
by Bryan CaplanWe've needlessly turned parenting into an unpleasant chore. Parents invest more time and money in their kids than ever, but the shocking lesson of twin and adoption research is that upbringing is much less important than genetics in the long run. These revelations have surprising implications for how we parent and how we spend time with our kids. The big lesson: Mold your kids less and enjoy your life more. Your kids will still turn out fine.Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids is a book of practical big ideas. How can parents be happier? What can they change--and what do they need to just accept? Which of their worries can parents safely forget? Above all, what is the right number of kids for you to have? You'll never see kids or parenthood the same way again.
Searching for Sky
by Jillian CantorRiver means everything to Sky. They have lived alone together on Island for as long as they can remember. The two of them hunt for food, wash in Falls and curl up together in Shelter. Their life is simple and safe. Until River sees a boat . . . Across Ocean is California, a place where nothing makes sense to Sky. She is separated from River and taken to live with a grandmother she doesn't know. Lost and heartbroken, Sky searches for him so they can return to Island, only to find out that their paradise wasn't as perfect as she thought, and everything she's ever known and loved may have been a lie.A gripping and beautifully told story of love and survival in a hostile world – ours.
Searching for Sky
by Jillian CantorSky and River have always lived on Island, the only world they've ever known. Until the day River spots a boat. Across Ocean, in a place called California, Sky is separated from River and forced to live with a grandmother she's just met. Here the rules for survival are different. People rely on strange things like cars and cell phones. They keep secrets from one another. And without River, nothing makes sense. Sky yearns for her old life where she was strong and capable, not lost and confused. She must find River so they can return to Island, but the truth behind how they ended up there in the first place will come as the biggest shock of all.
The Fall: The Fall (Penguin Modern Classics)
by Albert CamusA philosophical novel described by fellow existentialist Sartre as 'perhaps the most beautiful and the least understood' of his novels, Albert Camus' The Fall is translated by Robin Buss in Penguin Modern Classics.Jean-Baptiste Clamence is a soul in turmoil. Over several drunken nights in an Amsterdam bar, he regales a chance acquaintance with his story. From this successful former lawyer and seemingly model citizen a compelling, self-loathing catalogue of guilt, hypocrisy and alienation pours forth. The Fall (1956) is a brilliant portrayal of a man who has glimpsed the hollowness of his existence. But beyond depicting one man's disillusionment, Camus's novel exposes the universal human condition and its absurdities - for our innocence that, once lost, can never be recaptured ...Albert Camus (1913-60) is the author of a number of best-selling and highly influential works, all of which are published by Penguin. They include The Fall, The Outsider and The First Man. Awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1957, Camus is remembered as one of the few writers to have shaped the intellectual climate of post-war France, but beyond that, his fame has been international.If you enjoyed The Fall, you might like Jean-Paul Sartre's Nausea, also available in Penguin Modern Classics.'An irresistibly brilliant examination of modern conscience'The New York Times'Camus is the accused, his own prosecutor and advocate. The Fall might have been called "The Last Judgement" 'Olivier Todd
Grassroots: Politics . . . But Not as Usual
by Phil CampbellThis offbeat true story is a comedy and a tragedy about politics, from anti-globalist protest to domestic turmoil. It's about idealism, obsession and failure in Seattle, a progressive city on the fringe of America's continent and consciousness. Grant Cogswell is a poet, a punk rock-fan, an anarchist, a grassroots activist, and one very temperamental character. He loves Seattle so much he has the city logo tattooed on his arm. In the summer of 2001 he decides to run for city council. He's so determined to win that he'll even wear a polar-bear suit to a city hall meeting. Phil Campbell, the author, is a burnt-out recently fired alt-weekly reporter, a manic depressive who sees few reasons to live. Inspired by his friend Grant's passion, and without anything better to do, he agrees to manage Grant's campaign. For eighteen weeks, Phil devotes himself to Grant's grassroots challenge-all the while fending an overzealous roommate challenging him for his position as manager of their shared house. Overshadowing the story is the tale of U.S. Rep. Marion Anthony Zioncheck, a legendary boozer and forgotten lefty radical from the 1930s. As Grant's campaign unfolds, so does the story of Zioncheck's tragedy - his rise and fall from an energetic young politico to a madman who is sent to the insane asylum. The question: Is Zioncheck's tale a lesson already learned, or a prophecy waiting to be repeated?
Blood Diamonds: Tracing the Deadly Path of the World's Most Precious Stones
by Greg CampbellFirst discovered in 1930, the diamonds of Sierra Leone have funded one of the most savage rebel campaigns in modern history. These "blood diamonds" are smuggled out of West Africa and sold to legitimate diamond merchants in London, Antwerp, and New York, often with the complicity of the international diamond industry. Eventually, these very diamonds find their way into the rings and necklaces of brides and spouses the world over. Blood Diamonds is the gripping tale of how the diamond smuggling works, how the rebel war has effectively destroyed Sierra Leone and its people, and how the policies of the diamond industry - institutionalized in the 1880s by the De Beers cartel - have allowed it to happen. Award-winning journalist Greg Campbell traces the deadly trail of these diamonds, many of which are brought to the world market by fanatical enemies. These repercussions of diamond smuggling are felt far beyond the borders of the poor and war-ridden country of Sierra Leone, and the consequences of overlooking this African tragedy are both shockingly deadly and unquestionably global. Updated with a new epilogue.
The Carolyne Letters: A Story of Birth, Abortion and Adoption
by Abigail B. CalkinAmelia: young, naive, in love. Geoff: charming, narcissistic, intelligent. In a decidedly European affair, a young couple consummates a courtship destined for differences. The resultant pregnancy provides a haunting yet charming backdrop for the challenges of love and its often unwanted decisions.
Between You & Me
by Marisa CalinPhyre knows there is something life-changing about her new drama teacher, Mia, from the moment they meet. As Phyre rehearses for the school play, she comes to realize that the unrequited feelings she has for Mia go deeper than she's ever experienced. Especially with a teacher. Or a woman. All the while, Phyre's best friend-addressed throughout the story in the second person, as "you"-stands by, ready to help Phyre make sense of her feelings. But just as Mia doesn't understand what Phyre feels, Phyre can't fathom the depth of her best friend's feelings...until it's almost too late for a happy ending. Characters come to life through the innovative screenplay format of this dazzling debut, and unanswered questions-is "you" male or female?-will have readers talking.
Become a YouTuber: Build Your Own YouTube Channel (Dummies Junior)
by Cristina CalabreseGET EYES ON YOUR VIDS If you're the type who goes to YouTube for everything from entertainment to information to a way to communicate with your friends, this is the book you need to build a channel worth subscribing to. Packed with the advice of a video production teacher who's created her own channel, this book offers step-by-step advice for building a YouTube audience. Launch your channel – establish a home on YouTube where people can find your work Create your videos – apply production tricks to create videos that viewers watch over and over again Collaborate with your audience – build a relationship with your viewers that helps your audience grow
Become a YouTuber: Build Your Own YouTube Channel (Dummies Junior)
by Cristina CalabreseGET EYES ON YOUR VIDS If you're the type who goes to YouTube for everything from entertainment to information to a way to communicate with your friends, this is the book you need to build a channel worth subscribing to. Packed with the advice of a video production teacher who's created her own channel, this book offers step-by-step advice for building a YouTube audience. Launch your channel – establish a home on YouTube where people can find your work Create your videos – apply production tricks to create videos that viewers watch over and over again Collaborate with your audience – build a relationship with your viewers that helps your audience grow
Airhead (Airhead #1)
by Meg CabotAirhead is the first in a brilliant, funny and thought-provoking trilogy from Meg Cabot, the author of the million-selling The Princess Diaries.Two worlds collide when super-gorgeous celebutante Nikki and tomboy brainiac Em find themselves thrown together – literally. Forced to live the life of a glamorous supermodel, will Em be able to keep her old life, and those she cares about, a secret?
All American Girl: 32 Copy Mixed Floor Display (All-american Girl Ser. #Vol. 1)
by Meg CabotSam Madison never knew life could change overnight. But that's exactly what happens when she saves the life of the President of the United States as she's bunking off art class one night. Now an instant (if highly reluctant and very unlikely) celebrity, not to mention teen ambassador to the United Nations, Sam finds herself not only hanging out at the White House, but trying to stop herself falling for David, the President's son . . .All American Girl, by author of The Princess Diaries Meg Cabot, is followed by the sequel Ready or Not.
How to be Popular: When You're A Social Reject Like Me, Steph L
by Meg CabotSteph Landry's been a high school pariah – and the butt of every joke imaginable – ever since she spilt her red Super Big Gulp all over It Girl Lauren Moffat's white D&G mini-skirt. But now Steph's got a secret weapon – an ancient book, How to be Popular, which her soon-to-be step-grandmother once used to break into her A-crowd. All Steph has to do is follow the instructions in The Book and wait for the partying begin. But as Steph's about to discover, it's easy to become popular – it's less easy staying that way!How to be Popular is a heartwarming story of friendship and acceptance from Meg Cabot, author of The Princess Diaries.
Party Princess (The Princess Diaries #7)
by Meg CabotParty Princess by Meg Cabot is the seventh book charting the (mis)adventures of Princess Mia, in The Princess Diaries. Party Princess was previously published as Seventh Heaven.Poor Mia Thermopolis. Not only has she made a total ass of herself with J.P. (aka the Guy Who Hates It When They Put Corn In The Chilli) by trying to prove that she's a super-chilled party girl, but she's also bankrupted the student council. Way to go, Princess.Just as Mia's scared that she's lost Michael and a ton of money, Grandmère steps in with a fundraising plan. She's going to stage a musical in front of the world's hottest celebs – and the star will be none other than Princess Amelia Mignonette Grimaldi Thermopolis Renaldo!
Runaway (Airhead #3)
by Meg CabotEmerson Watts is on the run: from school, from her family and from herself. She's reeling from the shock that Nikki, the girl whose body her brain was forced to inhabit, is still alive. And she's furious. Manipulative Brandon plans to use Em to discover a secret that will ensure his success, whilst Christopher is out for revenge, fuelled by his jealousy. With everyone around her playing a dangerous game, maybe Em should just keep on running . . .Runaway is the final book in the fashion-tastic and hilarious trilogy from the queen of teen fiction Meg Cabot.
Underworld (The Abandon Trilogy #2)
by Meg CabotDeath has her in his grasp. And he's gorgeous. Seventeen-year-old Pierce Oliviera isn't dead. Not this time. But she's been taken by John Hayden, Lord of the Underworld, to the place between heaven and hell where spirits gather before their final journey. John claims it's to protect her from the Furies, who are hell-bent on vengeance against him. But could he have other reasons for keeping Pierce close? When she learns that the people she loves back home are in mortal danger, can she convince John to release her to save them – or will the price he asks for her freedom prove too high?Underworld is the second heart-stopping book in Meg Cabot's Abandon series.
The Year We Disappeared: A Father - Daughter Memoir
by Cylin Busby John BusbyWhen Cylin Busby was nine years old, she was obsessed with the Muppets and her pet turtle. Then everything changed. Her police officer father, John, was driving to work when someone levelled a shotgun at his window. The blasts that followed left him clinging to life, yet he managed to write down the name of the only person he thought could have pulled the trigger.John Busby was scheduled to testify in an upcoming trial against the family of a local criminal with rumoured mob connections. It became clear that there was a definite suspect. Overnight, the Busbys went from being an average family to one under 24-hour armed protection, with police escorts to school and no contact with friends. Worse, the gunman was still on the loose, and it seemed only a matter of time before he would come after John again - or someone else in the family! With few choices left, the Busby family went into hiding, severing all ties to the only life they had ever known.This hard-hitting, graphic and compelling account of Cylin's family's escape from the mob is ultimately a story of survival and triumph.
The Year We Disappeared: A Father - Daughter Memoir
by Cylin Busby John BusbyWhen Cylin Busby was nine years old, she was obsessed with Izod clothing, the Muppets, and a box turtle she kept in a shoebox. Then everything changed overnight. Her police officer father, John, was driving to his shift when someone leveled a shotgun at his window. The blasts that followed left John's jaw on the passenger seat of his car-literally. While clinging to life, he managed to write down the name of the only person he thought could have pulled the trigger. The suspect? A local ex-con with rumored mob connections. The motive? Officer Busby was scheduled to testify against the suspect's family in an upcoming trial. Overnight, the Busbys went from being the "family next door" to one under 24-hour armed guard, with police escorts to school, and no contact with friends. Worse, the shooter was still on the loose, and it seemed only a matter of time before he'd come after John-or someone else in the family-again. With few choices left to them, the Busby family went into hiding, severing all ties to the only life they had known.
Blink Once
by Cylin BusbyWest is a high school senior who has everything going for him - until an accident leaves him paralysed. Strapped down in his hospital bed, moving in and out of consciousness, West is isolated and alone. Until he meets Olivia.Olivia is the girl next door - though not the typical girl next door. She is in the hospital room next to his, and before long, she's sneaking into his room to talk with him. Only Olivia seems to know what he's thinking, and even dreaming about. Yet certain questions haunt him: Why is Olivia in the hospital? And how is she connected to the terrible dreams he's been having? But the biggest shock of all comes when West must face the possibility that the girl he's fallen in love with - and who's done more to aid his recovery than anyone else - may not even be alive.